A
male
age
30-35,
*rJayCupid
writes:one of my best mates has just turned 15.about 7 months ago when she was 14 she was going out with a 17 year old, they where great together and she was madly in love with him.but he works at a primary school training children after school.they somehow found out about the relationship and told him that if he didnt end it then he would lose his job and get reported.they cant do that can they??anywayz, that was months ago and she is still not over him.she doesnt eat properly, she doesnt sleep and when she does she dreams of him and spends most of the night crying.iv only just found out about all of this, she is the kind of person to keep things to herself and not tell any1 how she is feeling.she is madly in love with him n i expect that he still has feelings for her.they see each other almost everyday and are always talking.what i really want to know is...is it against any laws for them to be together??would they be breaking any laws if they got back together?can the school really fire and report him just for simply being with someone???
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Well the simple facts are that if he wants to keep his job then no they cant be together until she is 16! The school he works for would never accept their relationship so he would lose his job and would be reported to the police for involvement with a minor.
So at the end of the day as I said before the best thing they can do is to remain friends until she is 16 when it would not be a problem for them to be together. Or he stops working with children all together until she is 16 - but that would be his choice.
A
male
reader, MrJayCupid +, writes (24 November 2009):
MrJayCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno he doesnt teach her...he coaches at a primary school and she is in high school.
and no he would do that...i know him and talk to him alot, he wouldnt lie to her.
he is the kind of person that if he doesnt like you he will just tell you.
he was just as upset about it as she is but hes good at hiding his feelings.
iv tried telling her to talk to someone about it and everything but she doesnt tell anybody anything...shes the kinda person to keep her feelings locked up.
all they want to do is be together but are convinced they cant be
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 November 2009):
Basically your 14 year old friend is still in the eyes of the law, a child. He, in the eyes of the law is not quite an adult (he would have to be 18) but he still would get into a lot of trouble if he had sex with her because she is under the age of consent (16) and he is over it.
When you work with children in any school, you have to go through strict police checks in order to deem whether or not you are safe to be around children. So if this 17 year old is working with children he cannot have a relationship with a child (yes your friend is a child) because it would make him a risk to have around children (in terms of he could potentially sexually abuse a child).
I know this all sounds far fetched and you only see that there are 3 years between them and they love each other - but until she turns 16 he really should not be in a relationship with her if he wants to keep his job. The school has every right to fire him and report him to the police if he continues with the relationship - after all they have to put the safety of the children first. If he has a relationship with her then the school will assume its sexual, regardless of whether that is actually the case.
So if you are wanting to offer some advice just tell your friend that he would be risking his job by being with her so it is probably for the best that they have split up. They should just be friends until she is old enough (16) to have a relationship with him that wont put his job at risk.
I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 legally, there is nothing to say that they can't date, but in England they cannot have sex until she is 16 years old. If they do sleep together then he WILL be breaking the law and could end up with jail time and the loss of his job working with children, yes.
If he works at a place where she studies then this will definitely be frowned upon as a teacher shouldn't date his students and thus might well lose his job, yes.
If he doesn't teach her and he isn't sleeping with her and they just date, then there is no law against it.
Who told her that it was against the law etc? I wonder if he told her to ease away from her without hurting her too much.
Maybe they should keep it as friends and work on it and get together in a year or two?
If she isn't eating etc, she might need some help. Perhaps talk to a student advisor and get some advice on her behalf?
Good luck x
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