A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a few guy-related problems just now - who knew being single could be so complicated! Firstly, I've been hearing a lot lately, through the grapevine, that a guy who works in my building likes me. He and I have barely said 2 words to each other... just the occasional 'hi' in corridors. He got someone to ask me if I'm single yesterday, so now he knows I am I'm thinking he might ask me out next time I see him. I've got no idea how to handle that! If I go somewhere with him, is he likely to assume I'm interested? I normally date people who are friends of friends, so we get to know each other for a while and that eventually leads to something happening. I've never 'gone out' with someone I'd barely spoken to before. Secondly, it's my birthday on Saturday and I'm having a dinner where I'll be introducing my different groups of friends to each other for the first time. I have 3 different small groups, one of which includes a guy who I opened up to a few months ago about my angst over a long distance relationship I was in which wasn't working well. Each of the other 2 groups include a guy who likes me. I haven't told these 2 guys about each other. One of them I almost got together with a month or so ago - we kissed, he asked me to be exclusive and 2 days later he freaked out and said he just wanted to be friends for now but still liked me. If I'm honest with myself, I like him a lot but I don't want to be messed around by someone immature who doesn't know what he wants. The other guy is lovely but I see him more as a friend. Anyway I'm a bit freaked out about all these people meeting each other. I don't know what I can do if things start feeling awkward.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 November 2009):
 Ok so in regards to the guy in your building - firstly, are you attracted to him and would you like to go on a date with him? That is the most important thing - if you dont fancy him and have no real desire to get to know him better then there is no point in going on a date with him! But if you do fancy him then why the hell not go out with him? Yeah you might normally date guys that you have got to know a bit first but that clearly hasnt been working out so well because you are single, so why not try something new?!
If you say yes to going on a date with him then yes he will assume you are at least a bit interested in him so be careful if you dont feel at all interested! As for how to handle it, well there is no real way to handle it. I guess just to speak would be a start - if he asks you out then give him an answer!
As for the situation with your birthday - there is nothing I can say for that one. You chose to invite all these people out at the same time so you knew you were bringing all these guys together so I guess you just have to deal with it! If you didnt want them all there at the same time then you wouldnt have invited them out with you, so I guess you just have to get on with it and enjoy yourself the best you can. Maybe this is a good reason to stop dating friends of friends and try a new guy, so you will never have such an awkward situation again!
Just try and enjoy your birthday, dont pay any attention to men for that night and enjoy just being with your friends. Dont flirt with any of the guys because it will just cause problems with the other ones watching. Be normal and friendly with everyone there and it should be fine.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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