A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi. my best friend fancies my man. i told him and he said that he loves me and always will. i believe him. the thing is every one can see what she is doing.i feel that she is trying to push me out by taking over my life. dont know what to do as if i confront her i feel like the bad one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help. i had a quiet word with her and got it all sorted. wouldnt have known what to say without yor help. THANKS THANKS THANKS.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Well at the end of the day you have your boyfriend and she doesnt have him - by pursuing her she just seems sad and desperate.
I think you shouldnt necessarily confront her as such but just have a word with her when you are both alone. Dont accuse her of being in love with your boyfriend or fancying him, but just tell her that the way she behaves around your boyfriend is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Tell her that you really value your friendship but at the end of the day this is your boyfriend and you expect her to respect that fact rather than try and come between you and your partner. Just try and maintain the importance of your friendship and keep telling her that she is your best friend and you dont want a man to come between you.
As long as you stress the friendship element hopefully she will feel a bit guilty for the way she has been behaving and wont become defensive. If she does react badly and denies everything then maybe she is not as good a friend as you think she is. Because after all, a friend would not try and come between her best friend and her boyfriend. If she fancies him and actively pursues him then she doesnt value your friendship at all and is willing to lose you over this man. Is that really the type of friend you want in your life?
I think you should start out with a nice approach and just tell her that you are uncomfortable with the way she acts around him. If she does not change or becomes defensive/denies that she is doing anything wrong, then it is time to tell her that unless she stops behaving like this and focuses her attention away from your boyfriend then she will lose you as a friend. If you give her every available opportunity to change and she doesnt take it then you are best off without her in your life.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Best friend or not, she's no good for you if she's encroaching on your life and relationship.
No best friend would do that to another. You NEED to confront her to put this to rest. If she hasn't done anything wrong, she'll understand why you asked. If she'd being shady or defensive you need to find a new best friend.
You don't need a third person in your relationship.
Good luck xx
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