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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My b/f makes me feel complexed about my body, I used to be happy about it!
Q. When I'm watching movies with my boyfriend he is always pointing out which girls have better breasts or stomachs than me. If there is a topless scene he will immediately turn to me and tell me things like, "her's are much bigger than yours, they're ...
A. 6 November 2009: Surely you cant believe that you think he says these things to "help you"? No person on this earth would talk about how attractive other women/men in front of their partner thinking that it is helpful to point out what is so great about that other ... (read in full...)
My period still hasn't shown up, could I be pregnant?
Q. I've been on the pill since August (microlite) and sometimes me and my boyfriend don't use condoms. Normally he doesn't cum inside me (I know it's not a proper method of contraception) but my period's late now =( Usually my seven day break starts o...
A. 5 November 2009: Well if you have been taking your pill properly since August the chances of you being pregnant are pretty slim so try not to worry just yet.
When you are on your 7 day break it can take anywhere from 2-7 days for your period to show up, and its ... (read in full...)
What is so wrong about me and my body?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, we live together and he tells me we are going to be together, we've talked about marriage and tells me I'm beautiful, although I don't feel that way! I just found out that he has been lying ...
A. 4 November 2009: This question comes up a lot on this site so you should have a read around the topic and look at some of the other answers as they may able to help you. This is what I say every time this question comes up:
Read this - http://w... (read in full...)
Romantic gift ideas?
Q. Hi All My partner is a little down lately, and id really like to surprise her with something to cheer her up.. something romantic. The problem is, money is VERY tight right now, and ive done most of the things i can think of (massages, flow...
A. 3 November 2009: I always think the best things you can do for someone is not to buy them a gift as such but show you care by taking some time to do something special for them.
If she is stressed out or feeling down then why not surprise her one night by running ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to have sex
Q. Earlier this year, I had a chance to lose my virginity with someone I was seeing. But once we were naked, and I was about to insert my penis, I just couldn't..i lost all confidence, and didnt have the guts to go in. Since then, I've thought abo...
A. 3 November 2009: Well to start the girl you are seeing is not helping by making you feel like you only have 1 chance! That will make you even more nervous! If she is saying things like that to you then she is not the sort of person you want to be losing your ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat on my boyfriend, and if so does that mean I'm not happy with him?
Q. I'm very much in love with my boyfriend, we've been together for 7 months and it feels very right, like I've found my soul mate. I've been through enough abusive/controlling/violent and generally unhappy relationships to know that I'm definitely ...
A. 30 October 2009: Ok this exact same thing happened to me when I went away to uni aged 18. I had the most perfect boyfriend - I really loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We were happy even though we were doing the long distance, see each ... (read in full...)
How do you get out and about and back on the market?
Q. Hey all, I've asked questions here before and always gotten a good response so here goes again. Don't be afraid to be forthright, I'd like the truth. I broke up with a girl a few years ago and realised that I hadnt developed myself as a pe...
A. 28 October 2009: Well first of all well done you for realising you needed to work on yourself - that takes a lot so well done and you will be a much better person for it!
As for what you can do to help build your social life - why not join a local running club? Th... (read in full...)
I always used to turn boys down but now I am ready for a boyfriend! How do I let them know that I wont reject them this time?
Q. Basically, I'm a decent looking girl who has always frequently been asked out by boys. However, having just hit the age of 15 (which I consider old enough to have a boyfriend) - I also had enough self respect to refrain myself from the previous ...
A. 27 October 2009: Firstly the biggest turn off to a guy is a desperate female. So "needing" a boyfriend is probably the worst thing you can feel, and guys will run a mile from you if they can sense how desperate you are.
Second - self-esteem is not a turn on. If y... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 22 October 2009: Well what can I say? It appears you have already made your mind up about this country! Even though you have lived here a long time you seem to not consider England as your home and your nationality, so why not move back to Japan if you are really ... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 22 October 2009: Ok so after your follow up, you said that this one girl got pregnant so she could have a house and benefits - so that has absolutely nothing to do with avoiding you then does it! She is just one of the awful individuals I cannot abide here in the UK ... (read in full...)
She's 100% mediocre and I just want to get rid of her. How do I do this painlessly?
Q. Ok so I met this girl a couple months ago, and we're dating now. This is the first girl I have ever had real feelings for. When I'm with her I turn to mush, I smother her and make myself sick to my stomache with how nice I am to her. She isn't ...
A. 22 October 2009: Even if you did "get rid" of her and found someone "better" - i.e. someone more attractive and better in bed, you would still be thinking about this girl and you would not have these feelings for the more attractive woman. Often the most attractive ... (read in full...)
I have low self esteem, slept with another guy and know I should tell my b/f but I'm afraid!
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much; he is gorgeous, intelligent good job etc. I could not ask for someone better. From what he has told me he feels the same way about me. However we have big relationship pro...
A. 21 October 2009: Ask yourself this - what happens if you get drunk again on another night out and have argued with your boyfriend that day? Do you know deep down that you will never ever sleep with another man again, no matter how drunk you might be? Basically can ... (read in full...)
Are girls in this country just shallow and racist?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 22 years old male living in the UK. I'm originally from Japan, however I've been living here for a long time, since i was young. I don't know if this type of things should be asked on here, as it's not directly linked to existing...
A. 21 October 2009: I agree with what Satindesire said - no woman will ever get pregnant just to avoid you! These girls that got pregnant - the chances are they are in relationships and are having babies with their partners, or they may of had unprotected sex and these ... (read in full...)
To tell the truth or not?
Q. just out of curiosity ... i dont need negative answers im just wondering.. which is worse.. not telling your significant other that your pregnant? Or sleeping with someone else and giving your girlfriend the clap?...
A. 21 October 2009: What a strange question!
Both are as bad as each other in my opinion - lying and cheating are on an equal level with each other.
Not telling your partner your pregnant is one of the worst lies I can think of. And cheating and being stupid eno... (read in full...)
Any ideas of interesting topics?
Q. I am running out of conversation topics when ever I talk with the boy I like. It always ends up being silent and boring since neither of us can think of anything to talk about. Rarely, do we have a conversation where the talking lasts more than 10 ...
A. 21 October 2009: To be honest if you are struggling to have a conversation with this boy then you are not right for each other! One of the big signs that shows that a person is right for you is when you can talk for hours, with time passing by without you even ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend lied about unprotected sex with other guys, now I'm worried I have an STD
Q. Heyy, im 16 nearly 17 (male). Ive just broken up with my girlfriend and we were sexually active. We had sex a few times without a condom because she told me she hadnt had sex with anyone else. While I was going out with her I caught thrush, a...
A. 21 October 2009: Go on the NHS website and there is a section for sexual health - it will show you all the nearest clinics where you can get tested for free in your area. They might be GUM clinics or they might just be specialist clinics in local hospitals or ... (read in full...)
Is he freaked out by the idea of commitment?
Q. I'm so dense when it comes to figuring out what's going on in a guy's head, especially when I like him (as is the case now). One minute I'll think he's interested and the next he'll do something to make me change my mind. Full story (sorry abo...
A. 21 October 2009: When I was dating a guy who canceled 2 dates with me.....a few days later he ended things with me! Just bear that in mind!
To be honest he sounds like he is messing you around a bit, and regardless of his reasons that is just not acceptab... (read in full...)
He cut me off suddenly....what did I do wrong?
Q. he cut me off and i just dont know what i did wrong.. I dated this guy for a month,we always had a good time toghether and he said so himself, we were double dating alot with his friend and my friend which are now b/f and g/f...he was aff...
A. 21 October 2009: A very similar thing has happened to me before on a couple of occasions - all I have learnt from it is that some men are just like that, there is no explanation for it and they are just jerks!
The problem is that when this happens the typical ... (read in full...)
She doesn't remember what she did when drunk - or does she?
Q. I moved into a new flat a few months with two girls who were friends of my friend. i got a crush on one of the girls and then a month ago me, her and one of our friends got drunk and kissed her and touched her boobs but we couldn't do much. ...
A. 19 October 2009: As Cerebus said, drunken fumblings are not the most romantic moments and they are definitely not the best way to start a relationship!
There wont be any way of knowing if she does remember or not - she might remember but be embarrassed about th... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my middle school principal!
Q. Okay here's the deal... I turned 18 three months ago, but I am a senior in high school still. My middle school principal and I got to talking again and we have feelings for each other. My question is.. would we be able to sleep together even t...
A. 16 October 2009: Basically does he teach students at the school you attend? If you are a student in the same school (it doesnt matter what building) that he teaches other students in then yes he will get in trouble and most likely lose his job, and the police may be ... (read in full...)
Are we FWB or are we talking?
Q. Ok, I'm needing advice from a male. I just divorced, and me and this 23 yr. old guy, have been sleeping with each other since the 1st night we hung out together. I'm 20 yrs old myself. I haven't been single in about 5 years. We've only bee...
A. 16 October 2009: Wow married at 18 and divorced at 20? I bet that wasnt how you imagined your life was going to turn out! I really do hope you take my advice because if you dont, as Marriedlady said you will be posting on this site many more times with new questions ... (read in full...)
My girfriend is pregnant and treats me badly!
Q. what should i do? im 27 my girlfriend is 23 i've been with this girl 3 years. somedays are easy some are hard. for my birthday i always get a card and kiss and told i love you but thats it i always say " your not gonna say happy bithday " an...
A. 16 October 2009: Well from the way she is behaving you would actually have more rights to the baby if you broke up with her than by staying with her! If you were not together as long as you pay towards the baby you get visitation rights - therefore she cannot stop ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he have let go of his ex the day he said "I do"?
Q. I have been married for almost 1 year, actually it will be 1 year on the 31st. We have a 15 month old daughter and have been together for a bit more than two years. Two days ago I woke up and realized by husband wasn’t in bed. He had gotten up early ...
A. 16 October 2009: I dont really know what to say to you I'm afraid, and that is unusual for me! You are completely right to be upset by all this and his behaviour is just not on!
I am just churning out possible ideas here so dont take any of them too seriousl... (read in full...)
Are we FWB or are we talking?
Q. Ok, I'm needing advice from a male. I just divorced, and me and this 23 yr. old guy, have been sleeping with each other since the 1st night we hung out together. I'm 20 yrs old myself. I haven't been single in about 5 years. We've only bee...
A. 16 October 2009: This doesnt make sense! You are divorced at 20? And you are sleeping with 2 guys already? Please do correct me if I'm wrong but there seems to be a lot of confusion!
Basically if you have just come out of a marriage and have not been single f... (read in full...)
Exclusive relationship question?
Q. I tried to search around a little but about the only things I could pull up were mostly about dating "rules" and the games which I'm not into at all so I'm hoping I can get a more clear answer here. I've been with someone for 2 weeks now and we...
A. 16 October 2009: Its only been 2 weeks so it might be a little soon - I would wait another 2 weeks until you have been dating for a month and then just be honest with her about how you feel.
All you need to do is tell her that you really like her and would li... (read in full...)
The Doctor thought I could be pregnant, but the test came back negative. The symptoms are still here - what's going on?
Q. Hey all, A few weeks ago I went to my doctor because I was having pain in my right nipple. He told me I had a blocked nipple duct and gave me some antibiotics so I went on holiday and forgot about it. The blocked duct was fairly erect at...
A. 14 October 2009: Why have you stopped taking your pill - is this for an indefinite amount of time or just for your 7 day break?
To be honest no-one on this site is medically qualified to diagnose you - after all, this is a relationship site not a medical advice s... (read in full...)
I had lots of sex without any protection and I'm worried I might be pregnant!
Q. So me and my boyfriend (im 16 hes 18) have been together for about 4 months now. we have sex a lot, every weekend and sometimes during the week, and almost always more than once on these days. i am not on the pill and we dont use condoms, he just ...
A. 14 October 2009: I am resisting giving you a mini-lecture but I do have to say one thing - you are playing a risky game! Even though he pulls out, pre-cum contains sperm (sometimes even more sperm than his actual ejaculation contains!) so each time you are having ... (read in full...)
Almost 15, pregnant, can't tell my parents
Q. Im almost 15, theres a really good chance im pregnant, and i cant tell my mom. Me and the "father" aren't talking right now bc hes mad at me for thinking im pregnant. Me and him are illegal. He's over 18, and i love him and i dont want him to get in ...
A. 14 October 2009: As the anonymous poster said - get a pregnancy test done. Go to your local pharmacy/chemist and buy one from there - you dont have to tell anyone at this point. You need to confirm whether or not you are pregnant before you need to start worrying ... (read in full...)
Why would he tell me he wants to see how things go with this new girl before he gets back with me?
Q. Okay so my ex text me asking if I was okay. We broke up Thursday and Saturday I received the text. So I asked him today why text me when you said you need space? I told him to be open and either way its lose lose. So I said what are you trying t...
A. 14 October 2009: To put it simply this guy has left you for another girl but is worried it might not work out (probably because of the other boyfriend issue) so he is keeping you as a back-up option in case things go wrong. He thinks you will be waiting around for ... (read in full...)
Do I need to take the morning after pill?
Q. ive had unprotected sex 5 days after i finished my period can i get pregnant and do i need the morning after pill or will i be ok?...
A. 14 October 2009: How long ago did you have unprotected sex?
The morning after pill only works if taken within 72 hours so you need to go to the doctors ASAP to get the morning after pill, or you can go to a sexual health clinic or a walk in clinic - search t... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband that I want to end the marriage?
Q. I'm a married woman who is in love with another man. Sexofone is his name and we met 8yrs ago while were still in university. We were crazy about each other but things changed when he introduced me to his family..the prblm was that we come from ...
A. 13 October 2009: Sexofone?? Really?? Even in South Africa surely that sort of name does not exist! If you want people to take your question seriously you really should not use such silly names... (read in full...)
What do you think is going on in her mind?
Q. I had been seeing my girlfriend for 2 years - we broke up in April of this year - I suspected that she had been meeting with someone else for a while - as things hadnt been good for a while - she seemed to be trying to cause an argument all the time ...
A. 11 October 2009: There's no real way of knowing what is going on with her or why she feels the need to contact you every few months or so - we can only speculate and that wont help you.
You were together for a couple of years - so generally when a relation... (read in full...)
I think I'm depressed, and my doctor won't help me. Help!
Q. Hi, I'm a 20 year old female and I believe I'm suffering from depression. I'm constantly tired and just don't want to get out of bed. I have no energy to do anything anymore and I'm beginnin to really hate my job (think this is making matters ...
A. 7 October 2009: I think what you should do is make an appointment with a different doctor and get a second opinion, the doctor you have seen seemed to brush you off too easily so you really should try again.
Also it might help to make notes - write down what you... (read in full...)
I look great now - is that the only reason he wants to be with me?
Q. Hello, I'd love to hear your opinions. I'm 37 and have been divorced 5 years with three great kids. Since my divorce my self esteem has been pretty low and I ended up putting on 3 stone in weight. Two years ago I became friends with a man 8 years ...
A. 7 October 2009: By saying he wants to spend some quality time with you doesnt necessarily mean that he wants a relationship, he could just be thinking you dont see each other much anymore and would like to see more of his friend. Or yes there is a chance he might ... (read in full...)
Is my diet good for my general health, overall?
Q. hi there. ok well for about a year now i have been going without eating lunch everyday .and eventually got use to the routine of not eating until the evening. (due to work ) i moved in to a flat 4 months ago so when i get home from work i coul...
A. 2 October 2009: If you think you are greedy for having 3 meals a day then I am afraid it is very close to an eating disorder and you really should seek help from a professional.
What you should do is have breakfast before work, something to eat once you finish w... (read in full...)
Is my diet good for my general health, overall?
Q. hi there. ok well for about a year now i have been going without eating lunch everyday .and eventually got use to the routine of not eating until the evening. (due to work ) i moved in to a flat 4 months ago so when i get home from work i coul...
A. 2 October 2009: Ok yes your diet is very unhealthy and you are doing your body some serious damage. It is NOT normal to eat once a day, it is very abnormal. It sounds like you are bordering on an eating disorder if you are enjoying all the compliments about losing ... (read in full...)
Will we have enough cash to survive on if we move in together?
Q. Me and my fiance have started new jobs and we both get just over £13k a year but want to get a apartment in the next couple of months thinking about £500 pcm fully furnished and close to our jobs about 15mins drive from work. we obviously are gonna ...
A. 2 October 2009: Ok from experience no, £13k is not enough to live on especially if you both have cars. Ignore what Old Guy said - £13k a year is around £887 a month after tax (I remember because that was what I was earning a couple of months ago!). So basing this ... (read in full...)
He can't stand that I have a 'past' -- will every other guy be the same way?
Q. Are all men obsessed with their partner's past? My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. In the beginning everything was perfect, obviously. Until he asked about my past. It wasn't wild, I made out with some guys, had crushes on other...
A. 1 October 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/male-vs-female-a-debate-on-the-male.html
Have a read of this - it should give you some insight into the male mentality behind why a woman's past bothers them so much.
But in your case - you have just been u... (read in full...)
My ex is sleeping with his girlfriends best mate
Q. Hi everyone Well my ex bf is now like my best friend we get on really well even if we do have are little tiffs, But basically he has a gf who is pregnant and i slept with him once after that and it hasnt happened since as i felt guilty even th...
A. 30 September 2009: I dont think you should tell your ex's girlfriend - that will only make things worse. She wont believe you because she will think you are just jealous, and then you will lose your friendship with your ex.
What I think you should do is have a g... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has threatened to break up with me if I have an abortion! How do I get him to understand it is my choice?
Q. Yesterday morning I did a pregnancy test and it came up positive but I don't know how many weeks yet. I have no desire to be a mum or ever have a baby I just don't like them so I knew straight away that abortion is the only option. Howev...
A. 30 September 2009: I will warn you in advance this site seems to have a lot of pro-life people on here so be prepared for some strong opinions and some harsh comments.
As for your question - if an abortion is the right thing for you then by all means stick to your ... (read in full...)
Was it weird that my husband asked me which of my previous sexual partners had the biggest penis?
Q. My husband of 2 yrs asked me who I'd slept with in the past had the biggest penis. Now, I know he's not insecure cause he's well endowed himself. My response was to laugh and asked him why the hell he wanted to know! he said he was just curious. ...
A. 28 September 2009: There isnt anything wrong with him asking this - it is a typical male sort of thing to say! Take my boyfriend for example, he actually said the following whilst he was still inside me after having sex "Am I the biggest you have ever had?"!
I was... (read in full...)
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