A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep it short: I am 20 and I live in Texas. I have an oppurtunity for a good job in New York doing what I love doing. My girlfriend of several years, however, is reluctant to move out of Texas. I love her more than anything, but I'm having trouble finding work where I currently am, and feel like I shouldn't pass this oppurtunity up. I feel like I have to choose either my career/success, or her. I really don't know what to do.. any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 All the best and good luck. :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for your advice. I have decide to take the job, and as hard as it is leaving her, I feel I have made the right choice. Thanks again guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Take the job. If she truly has your best interests at heart - she will join you n NY at some point.?
Pls do not pass up a good opportunity. xx
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Off the top of my head, If she isn't interested in your earning potential she isn't in if for the long term. Guard your heart and go for the job.
Happy to chat, its roughly the distance from Sydney to Alice Springs. In physical distance. In life style and ideology is the distance form Sydney to Beijing.
FA
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (13 November 2009):
 At your age you cannot pass on the chance to take a job like this, after all you are only 20 and these opportunities dont come along often. At such a young age you dont have the responsibilities that tie you down to a certain place, like kids, a mortgage...etc.
I understand that you have been with your girlfriend a long time and Texas to New York is a major move but you have to do whats right for you. When you are young you have the chance to be selfish - you dont have to take anyone else into consideration because you have no real ties to them.
Why doesnt your girlfriend want to move to New York with you? At the end of the day this is your dream and she should be supportive of that rather than trying to stand in the way. And she will have so many more opportunities in New York if she did move with you, I cant really understand why she wouldnt want to go!
Yes relationships are important but if you stayed behind just for her sake and ended up doing some job you didnt really enjoy, you would resent her for the rest of your life and it would probably be the beginning of a downwards spiral towards you breaking up. Think about how you would feel if you did stay in Texas but then broke up with her? You would be so angry with yourself for allowing a girl to come stop you from living your dream.
This sounds harsh but there are plenty of girls out there, but great career opportunities may only happen once in a lifetime.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (13 November 2009):
i dont think you should sacrifice this opportunity and stay for ur gf's sake, esp in this time of recession. You can show her that you can make a good living and support her to how that you won't forget her. she can't make you stay out there, because then that's technically selfish of her to ruin ones opportunity. I know if this happened to me, id still act like her, but I'd let you go. the question is. will u be faithful to her.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (13 November 2009):
Have you considered a long distance relationship?
Why doesnt she want to move? How far away is the move? Im not from the US, so I dont know the distance.
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