A
female
age
36-40,
*t's Me!!
writes:Ok then. This is the first time i've used this site, so be nice! (And excuse the punctuation, my CTRL button is tempermental today)So I was wondering how to break the news that im pregnant to my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman, and has accepted my previous two pregnancies with good grace, but I think she might lose it at the fact we are having a 3rd.My husband and I planned for all of our babies, but we always keep that bit to ourselves, for fear that people would discourage us. we would like a large family, our kids are 3 (almost 4), and 2. Our youngest will be starting preschool in may.My husband works full time, we have our own house (rented, but its cheap and nice) and I am a stay at home mum. We have no debts and don't drink at all, or go out much, so we can afford to have more children.this may sound like we dont have anything to worry about, but as i'm only 25 Mother-In-Law (MIL) will think I should have waited. and it makes matters worse that hubbys step sister is 5 months pregnant and her kids are the same age as mine, so MIL might think that I was jealous or something, even though weve been planning for this baby for months.I really don't want her to feel hurt or upset, how can I break the news gently?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 Barf on her during morning coffee?
Sorry, it is your life, and why should you excuse yourself for wanting kids when you are married, have an income and a house and everything?
You have nothing to apologize for. So just tell her kindly but it is YOUR life, not hers. Shouldn't you be happy now, not worrying about what someone else might think?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 November 2009):
 You can't control your MIL's reaction to this news. You can only deliver the news and manage any comments that come back your way.
"Mom, we are so happy and ecstatic to have some wonderful news. We are going to have a baby! We're thrilled for many reasons and here are just a few: this baby will be close in age to its siblings, so they can all be good friends as they grow up; we're in good financial and personal shape to have this next child; it's a testament to your own parenting that your son wants to have a good-sized family--he obviously learned those parental skills from you! And finally, we want to have our children when we are relatively young, so we can keep up with them as they age, and so that when we are older and they are teenagers, we're still young too! It's such a wonderful and awesome thing, parenthood, don't you agree?"
It honestly is no one's business but your own as to how many children you want to have. If people want to judge you, shrug your shoulders and tell them you don't judge them for their life choices (do you?) and smile with good grace and change the subject.
You might be assuming you'll know what her reaction is going to be, and that's not fair to her. She may be thrilled to bits to have another grandchild. As long as you're not asking her to babysit them, you've got nothing to explain or account for. Hold your head high and be gracious and loving and things will work out.
Congratulations!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 November 2009):
 I think you might be worrying a little too much here! Yes while she might think you should have waited - that is her opinion at the end of the day and she will know that. You are already pregnant - no matter what she thinks nothing is going to change that now, she will be well aware of this so she will also know that there is no point in being unhappy about it or passing judgment!
A baby is a blessing, it is something to be happy about and something to be celebrated. She is going to be a grandma again and that is a great thing, regardless of whether you were having the baby now or in 10 years time.
I suggest you pop round to her house this weekend (or invite her over) for dinner or something, take a cake and some champagne and just say "we have some great news, I'm pregnant!". As long as you are your husband are happy about it then she will be too - all she will want is the best for you all. If you were worried about having another baby so soon, or your husband was unhappy that you were having another baby then yes she might feel upset about the situation, but if you are both happy then all she can be is happy for you! She might be a bit shocked or taken aback but she will come round to the idea.
If she does ask why you decided to have a baby now, or how come you are pregnant again so soon after the last one - then just be honest with her. Tell her you both want a large family and you have decided that now is the right time to have another one. It is better for her to think that this was planned rather than an accidental pregnancy!
At the end of the day it is your life, you and your husband are happy so who the hell cares! I cant see any reason why your mother in law would be hurt or upset - but if she is then I'm sure it will be very short lasting and she will just be pleased for you when she sees how happy you both are. You will know as a parent that you just want what is best for your child - she will want the same for her son and for you. If she sees that this baby is the best thing for you both, then she will be happy too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): ... hmmm... a nice way of doing that, is get with your husbend and go to her and let the little kids tell her... no matter how she wont like the news, she will laugh and enjoy the fact her that her grand kids telling her a suprise and are happy...
be happy and the world around you will be happy...
take care
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): hay... chill and relax. as much as you say your MIL is nice, and its nice that you are bothered about how she feels and think.. but its yours and your hubby's life, dont be afraid of anyone and worried so much.
just make sure you choose a time when your hubby is there with you, and both tell her together that you got her a happy news and that you having another baby.. and show her that you are both so happy, and if she doesnt react so good, just ignore it... she will be fine in a day or two, and she will be excited to see her new grand son/doughter...
take care
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