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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My weight and subsequent lack of confidence is making my relationship suffer!
Q. This is most definitely a confidence and health issue. For a while now, I have been trying to lose weight, because I'm low on confidence and my partner and I's sex life has suffered from it, simply because I can't bear to have him touch me or some...
A. 28 June 2010: Congratulations! How did you do it if you dont mind me asking?... (read in full...)
Was it weird that my husband asked me which of my previous sexual partners had the biggest penis?
Q. My husband of 2 yrs asked me who I'd slept with in the past had the biggest penis. Now, I know he's not insecure cause he's well endowed himself. My response was to laugh and asked him why the hell he wanted to know! he said he was just curious. ...
A. 28 September 2009: There isnt anything wrong with him asking this - it is a typical male sort of thing to say! Take my boyfriend for example, he actually said the following whilst he was still inside me after having sex "Am I the biggest you have ever had?"!
I was... (read in full...)
If you have irregular periods will a pregnancy test be accurate?
Q. hi i have a quick question if u have an irregular period will a pregnancy test show correct? ive done an ultrasound and there is nothing in my uturus..did a pregnacy test came out negative but i have this weird pains here and there in my stomach and ...
A. 28 September 2009: I'm with Gina on this one - how on earth can you do an ultrasound on yourself?
You must have been to the doctor's if you have had an ultrasound and if they have told you that you are not pregnant then you should feel fairly convinced that the... (read in full...)
He masturbates to pictures of other women and it bothers me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years now. I don't know whether there is something wrong with me because I know he masturbates to pictures of other women and it bothers me. I've talked to him about it before but he just tells me that ...
A. 28 September 2009: This question comes up a lot on this site so you should have a read around the topic and look at some of the other answers as they may able to help you. This is what I say every time this question comes up:
Read this - http://w... (read in full...)
Visions of girlfriend's past come into my head and I can't deal with it
Q. Im on the verge of not being able to be with my girlfriend anymore because of her past. I can honestly say im depressed. Its come to a point where every time I look at her visions of her past come into my head and they will not go away. I...
A. 28 September 2009: Well you dont say what happened in her past! What did she do that was so bad?
If you could explain what bothers you so much then we might be able to help!... (read in full...)
Why do guys tell you that they love you on the first date?
Q. Why do loads of guys ask you to marry them or tell you that they love you on the first date? is it because a.)their completely insane b.)they think your stupid enough to believe them 3.)they don't usually-I just date the weirdos...
A. 28 September 2009: Well I would have to say option 3 - I have never ever in all my 22 years of life come across a guy who has asked me to marry him on the 1st date! You may just be dating the complete nutters!
It is very unusual for a guy to say that he wants to... (read in full...)
I'm having a second affair after I promised I would never leave him again, do I stay with him or follow my heart and be with the man I love?
Q. This could be a long post but I have to lay it all out. I am a married woman and have been with my husband for 13 years. He was my first serious relationship (I met him when I was 20). About 6 years ago I had an affair and told him I was leavin...
A. 25 September 2009: I dont want to sound harsh here but I think you have some pretty serious issues with commitment, relationships and men. I really think you need to see a therapist who specialises in that sort of area and maybe you can figure out what you are lacking ... (read in full...)
Why does she dress to impress when I'm not around?
Q. hey whats up guys and girls i need help i don't know what to do. my girlfriend always dresses nice when I'm not going to be around like when she goes to school or work or something she never wears nice things when i am. does she have something on ...
A. 25 September 2009: I dont think she is cheating or looking for anyone else but she isnt behaving properly in this relationship. The key to making relationships work is to always make an effort for each other and try and maintain that sense of attraction you had for ... (read in full...)
Why do I get upset when my boyfriend masturbates?
Q. I am wondering... why do i get so upset when my boyfriend masterbates? Why does it bug me he watches porn... i get so jealous as if he wants to be with those women on the porno and then he tells me sometimes he doesnt need porn and that its in his ...
A. 25 September 2009: Read this - http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/men/why-do-men-watch-porn/v1
That should give you some initial (if basic) insight into why men watch porn.
All men watch porn to some varying degree - some watch it a lot and others go through phases, ... (read in full...)
Can girls feel you cum inside of them?
Q. I have a weird question. I hooked up with this girl for the first time (without a condom, stupid I know) and she rode me for a few minutes and came on my penis. After she finished cumming she asked me if I had cum inside of her and I was puzzled ...
A. 25 September 2009: Well it depends on the intensity of the man's orgasm - sometimes you can feel the throbbing so it is pretty obvious. Other times a girl cant really tell - just as frequently men cant tell whether a girl has cum or not!
I'm guessing she probably... (read in full...)
Why does he need to text other women?
Q. I have been married to my Hubby for 5 years, I met him when he was married but he left his wife, before the relationship became sexual.. He is everything a women could want and we have the best time and life together, we have now Bern blessed with a ...
A. 23 September 2009: Well I hate to say this but once a cheater, always a cheater! You met him when he was married and he left his wife for you - so the chances are he will do the exact same thing to you. If a man (or indeed a woman) is happy to leave a marriage for ... (read in full...)
What are the legal limits? Our ages are 20 and 15. Can we kiss? Anything further?
Q. I'm a 20 year old guy, interested in a 15 year old girl. We've been talking online a lot for the last few months, and seen each other a few times. As a normal person, her mum likes me, but when it comes to seeing her daughter, she's against it. ...
A. 23 September 2009: Well technically as long as you dont have any sexual contact with her at all then you will be fine. The law authorities cannot stop you from having a relationship or kissing but you could get into a lot of trouble for any sexual activity you have ... (read in full...)
Do I need to take the morning after pill?
Q. Hi I need help, i had unprotected sex last night with my bf and my period is due today/tomoorrow, is it likely that i could get pregnant? I had heard that this time (just before period is due) is safer because I am not ovulating? if not then i will ...
A. 19 September 2009: You can get pregnant at any time of the month, including during your period. Yes the chances are lower than when you are ovulating however there is still a chance hence you should never have unprotected sex unless you want to get pregnant.
Basic... (read in full...)
I'm shy and self-conscious about facial hair
Q. Help i'm in need of advice. Im a 24 year old girl and i have never had a boyfriend, i know a big reason for this is my shyness. It is something that stems from constant bullying i received in many high schools (my family moved around abit when...
A. 19 September 2009: Well have you ever thought about laser hair removal? It does cost a bit of money and yes it does hurt but after a number of treatments it will be gone forever and you will never have to worry about it again!
I have always had dark hair on my top l... (read in full...)
She doesn't always take the pill at the same time. Can I ejactulate inside her??
Q. I have a question about birth control. My girlfriend was on the pill (Ortho Tri Cyclen Low) for about 4 years. She took a 6 month break and has been back on it for about 10 months now. She takes it each morning when she gets up, but that time ...
A. 18 September 2009: I think you will be fine to ejaculate inside her, you can never be 100% sure that she wont get pregnant but the chances of it happening are very unlikely.
I have been on the pill for years now and I take mine normally before I go to bed - but this... (read in full...)
Lost in an apparent man's world
Q. So right now I am so upset and sick to my stomach. I feel hopeless.I think I should just be alone for the rest of my life. I know people think i must be crazy , but my boyfriend and I of 4 years were already fighting and I asked him why he deleted ...
A. 17 September 2009: Read this - http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/men/why-do-men-watch-porn/v1
That should give you some initial (if basic) insight into why men watch porn.
Yes all men watch porn to some varying degree - some watch it a lot and others go throug... (read in full...)
I faked an orgasm and pulled out after only a minute. Is there a chance she will be pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend and me had sex last night. We were both a little drunk, but we made the use of the tow condoms we had. About 20 minutes after sex, she gets a little excited, and asks me to put it inside her. Even though I was in the state I was, I ...
A. 17 September 2009: As for the morning after pill - if this incident was within 72 hours then yes by all means get the morning after pill. But if it has been longer than that then it wont work, so time is really of the essence with the morning after pill!
The m... (read in full...)
I faked an orgasm and pulled out after only a minute. Is there a chance she will be pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend and me had sex last night. We were both a little drunk, but we made the use of the tow condoms we had. About 20 minutes after sex, she gets a little excited, and asks me to put it inside her. Even though I was in the state I was, I ...
A. 17 September 2009: There is a small chance she could be pregnant but only a very small one at that, depending on what time in her cycle she is at.
Basically pre-cum contains sperm so that can get a girl pregnant, so even if you dont ejaculate inside her the pre-cum ... (read in full...)
Staying at his place for the first time....
Q. Ok so my boyfriend has asked me to stay over at his, because he works late and likes to have a drink, but doesnt want to have to drive me home. Im very excited, but also a little worried. I dont know if hes expecting sex (but he wont be getting it!) ...
A. 16 September 2009: Well it is worth just having a chat with him, maybe over the phone or when you get round to his about sex and explain that you are not sure how he feels but you want to wait for whatever reason. It is best to talk to him before you do actually get ... (read in full...)
What are the laws on underage sex in Maine, USA?
Q. I recently posted a question about me having sex for the first time the weekend after this upcoming weekend. Im 14 and my girlfriend is 13 and she lost her virginity last year. I posted this question on a few other sites like this one but most of ...
A. 16 September 2009: From what I have read on the laws surrounding the age of consent in the US it is all pretty confusing, and the age of consent varies from state to state, with some allowing sex from the age of 16, and some only allowing sex from the age of 17 or 18. ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to have a relationship with an older guy?
Q. Im 16 going to be 17 in the spring and ive always had "a thing" for this guy whos about 23 24.hes no stranger.My mom and his mom are bestfriends and known each other forever and ive known him since i was in like middle school.we've never really hung ...
A. 16 September 2009: Ok so that makes him about 7 or 8 years older than you right? Basically if you were living in the UK then you wouldnt have any problems, sex is legal from the age of 16 so the only issues might come from your parents! But in the US I know that the ... (read in full...)
Risk of STDs from masturbation?
Q. hi im back with another question about trying to avoid stds/aids i was just wondering about me being sexualy active with myself like masturbation and was wondering if that gives you a bigger risk of geting a std and yes i know that condoms help ...
A. 16 September 2009: Masturbating has nothing to do with STD's! You can only catch an STD by having unprotected sex with someone who is infected - it is the exchange of fluids that means you can catch something.
So you can masturbate as much as you want and you will... (read in full...)
My weight and subsequent lack of confidence is making my relationship suffer!
Q. This is most definitely a confidence and health issue. For a while now, I have been trying to lose weight, because I'm low on confidence and my partner and I's sex life has suffered from it, simply because I can't bear to have him touch me or some...
A. 15 September 2009: Well that sounds like you are doing all the right things so maybe diet is not the reason behind your bloating, it might be worth going to see your doctor.
While I have been trying to lose weight the major thing I have found which helps give me ... (read in full...)
My weight and subsequent lack of confidence is making my relationship suffer!
Q. This is most definitely a confidence and health issue. For a while now, I have been trying to lose weight, because I'm low on confidence and my partner and I's sex life has suffered from it, simply because I can't bear to have him touch me or some...
A. 15 September 2009: Without knowing exactly what you are eating it is hard to say. Exercise doesnt really have much impact on bloating - it is normally to do with diet, water and hormones. If you want to outline what you eating then I might be able to help, but you ... (read in full...)
To the ladies... how big should I try to make my penis?
Q. Okay my current measurement on a good day is 6 and a half long (non bone pressed), or bone pressed 6.7. The problem is my girth is quite small, only 4.7 inches thick. This is a concern because girls seem to prefer girth over length. I rea...
A. 15 September 2009: I dont think jelqing will help with the girth of your penis to be honest, it just slightly stretches it out so it might get slightly longer but the width will remain the same.
From your measurements you sound fine as you are! Now I have experien... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend that the guy we both like has asked me out?
Q. me and my best friend have both liked the same boy for ages last night he asked me out and i dont no what to say! i want to say yes but my friend really likes him as well and i dont want to upset her, she is my best friend so i dont no what to say ...
A. 15 September 2009: I think you should just be honest with her! When you next see her, tell her that this guy asked you out on (whatever night it was) but you havent responded to him yet because you wanted to talk to her (your best friend) about it first. Explain that ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to rent,i want to buy
Q. Myself and my boyfriend have been together for 6 yrs! we both live at home still. He is with his mum and brother, and im with my mum and dad. Over these years i have been saving up thinking we will move out, get a mortgage sometime. But he isnt ...
A. 15 September 2009: I know it seems like he is trying to shy away from committing to buying a house with you but he is actually being very sensible. I know you have been together for quite some time but you never fully know someone until you move in with them (I found ... (read in full...)
How can I prepare mentally for first time sex?
Q. Im 14, almost 15 and my gf is 13, almost 14 (her bday is 3 days before mine) I havn't been on this site for a while because i havnt had much going on that i couldnt talk to my friends about. But i have recently gotten back togather with me ...
A. 14 September 2009: Well I just have to put the legal bit in first - it is illegal to have sex under the age of 16 so just keep that in mind!
There isnt really any mental preparation you can do to be honest - if you love her and know that you are 100% ready for sex ... (read in full...)
She was hot but now cold and I don't know what happened
Q. I've been seeing this girl Louise 23 for 4 dates. She's a barmaid at our local pub and after chatting to her one night after a lock in we got on really well. I saw her the week after and asked if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes...
A. 14 September 2009: Well if a guy had done this to me then I would take it as the classic "he just isnt into you" - so many guys have done this to me before it is quite strange seeing it the other way round!
I think you can give this one last attempt to sort thi... (read in full...)
Is it unusual not to have your father give you away at your wedding and have your brother do it instead?
Q. I'm getting married soon (yay!) and I'm worried about that tradition where the father of the bride gives her away. You see, my dad was never around...I think I've met him on 3 or 4 occasions and never had more than a superficial conversation with ...
A. 11 September 2009: Well you dont have to worry about the tradition of the father giving you away - today anyone is acceptable to give you away! I've seen brothers, friends, uncles....you name it I've seen it! I think the tradition was based on your father who has ... (read in full...)
Questions about STDs...
Q. I have this question that I never asked anyone about STDs, probably because it's stupid. It's kind of hard to explain. People tell you that abstinence is the best way to prevent STDs. If you and your partner are both virgins, then it is safe ...
A. 11 September 2009: In today's world abstinence is the best way to prevent STD's but condoms come a close second!
Basically no-one is really sure of where STD's originated from - I'm sure if you googled it then there would be a variety of theories that come up! I ha... (read in full...)
Does my husband have another life in the UK???
Q. I've become concerned at the amount of time my husband has been spending flying out to the United Kingdom. I've noticed a lot of flight bills for flights to "Manchester, United Kingdom" and "Bolton, United Kingdom". At first I thought it was b...
A. 10 September 2009: Well Bolton doesnt have an airport so I'm not sure how you managed to find flight bills to Bolton but never mind!
Now I lived in Manchester for a number of years, and it is a lovely city, however north Manchester is regarded as a pretty nasty ar... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks its a bad idea to go to the police after I was raped, what should we do?
Q. About 3 months ago I was raped by a man I met in town on a night out who I thought was nice-looking but wasn't a nice person, then I met my boyfriend in mid-July, and he is far nicer than my exes or the guy I met. It's only recently I told ...
A. 9 September 2009: So your boyfriend is comparing rape to a burglary of a garden shed?! I would put very good money on the fact that the police would take a rape claim much more seriously then someone's garden shed being burgled!
What you need to understa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks its a bad idea to go to the police after I was raped, what should we do?
Q. About 3 months ago I was raped by a man I met in town on a night out who I thought was nice-looking but wasn't a nice person, then I met my boyfriend in mid-July, and he is far nicer than my exes or the guy I met. It's only recently I told ...
A. 9 September 2009: Well if it was 3 months ago why did you not go to the police right away? The right thing to do after you have been raped is go immediately to the police (the sooner the better) so they can take his DNA and get a criminal conviction. The Police in ... (read in full...)
I want to date my ex's sister
Q. Ok so I've asked several questions about my ex girlfriend, she was my girlfriend when I asked the questions. She broke up with me after almost 7 months and I think I'm almost over her. Anyhow this question is not about her, It's about her sister, I ...
A. 9 September 2009: If the relationship with your ex (as in her sister) was serious then you should not pursue this any further. You will cause terrible tension in the family, going round to her house will be unbearable (if they even let you in!) and in general things ... (read in full...)
We agreed that we'd break for the summer -- I'm a mess waiting for official word
Q. Myself and my girlfriend broke up about 3/4 months ago and i dont think im over it yet. we agreed to be friends, speak on the phone once a week and just try to get on as if nothing's happened, just minus the kissing, sex, closeness etc. ...
A. 9 September 2009: To be honest I always believe that if a relationship needs a "break" or if you are on and off again then the relationship is not working. Say if you two got married - would she want to "take a break" from the marriage too when things get tough? That ... (read in full...)
Am I going to be used?
Q. i met this guy at a festival a few weeks back and we swapped numbers and got eachothers facebook addys etc. even though nothing happened at the festival there was definately an attraction there and we both admitted to wanting something to happen. w...
A. 9 September 2009: I think it might be best to ask him where he sees this going. I know men hate that conversation but in this case it is best if you figure out where you stand before you sleep with him!
Maybe call him or just give him a text saying you would re... (read in full...)
If my teacher broke up with his girlfriend would I have a chance with him?
Q. My last year teacher got involved with a senior girl two years ago and they've been dating since, but for the last year they've been kind of on and off. I really have a huge crush on him. He did get into trouble for dating a student but he got to an ...
A. 8 September 2009: If he calls you gorgeous and hugs you then this is innapropriate behaviour for a teacher and should not be allowed to continue this. Regardless of how he started this relationship with the other girl he abused his position as a teacher by starting a ... (read in full...)
Is 8 years too big an age gap?
Q. Hello, I'm a guy who just turned 25 last week and have started dating a brilliant girl who is only 16, 17 in a couple of months. Is this too big an age gap for a relationship? I've known this girl for a few months and she has had the hots for me ...
A. 8 September 2009: Well this is pretty difficult. I am 22 and dating a 31 year old guy, hence the age gap in my case is bigger than yours however I think in your case yes, the gap is too big. I might sound hypocritical there but let me explain myself! Aged 16,... (read in full...)
I don't think my girlfriend is ready to commit to this relationship!
Q. Hello everyone, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 10 months and its been the best 10 months of my life. I am 18 years old and she is 17. The problem is, for the past 5 weeks she has been burying underlying problematic thoughts in her ...
A. 8 September 2009: I could give you the long, drawn out detailed answer to this but to save us all time and possibly save you some pain, I will give you the short and blunt answer.
All girls go through this phase. She is a teenager who has been with her boyfrien... (read in full...)
I feel really ugly and can't make my boyfriend understand
Q. Ok, I apologise beforehand because I truly need to rant, I've been having an awful week regarding this problem! I hate it when people say to ugly people "just accept yourself, love yourself... if you don't feel it, just fake confidence!". IT...
A. 8 September 2009: I really cant believe you feel like this when you have a boyfriend! If you were that ugly then he wouldnt have come near you in the first place right?! I would have more sympathy for you if you were claiming to be ugly, without a boyfriend, never ... (read in full...)
If my teacher broke up with his girlfriend would I have a chance with him?
Q. My last year teacher got involved with a senior girl two years ago and they've been dating since, but for the last year they've been kind of on and off. I really have a huge crush on him. He did get into trouble for dating a student but he got to an ...
A. 8 September 2009: This guy is a paedophile and should not be allowed to work in a school ever again! I'm shocked that he was allowed to continue teaching after his relationship with a student - this is not OK! And the fact he calls you gorgeous and hugs you?! I ... (read in full...)
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