A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:This is a long question. Please read and help me the best you canIm 16 years old and for a year and a half now Ive been in love with someone. We spoke about being together, but he'd often say he liked other people and mess me around. He said we'd be together when we left school. We left school and he got a girlfriend who he has been with for 6 months now. We've always had a thing together and hes cheated on her several times with me.Last night we had sex for the first time for both of us. We didnt use a condom so im getting the morning after pill soon. But I dont want us to look back and think it was rubbish because for one, I wasnt wet, for two he wasnt hard. But we still managed and it took ages to get it in. Could anyone help me as to why I wasnt wet? I dont want him to think I didnt want to enjoy it because I did. and I dont want him to look back and think its rubbish
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 November 2009):
 Ok first of all getting the morning after pill "soon" wont cut it - the morning after pill is only effective within 72 hours of having unprotected sex and even then, the effectiveness of the pill decreases every hour you leave it. Within 24 hours of the incident and you should be fine, any longer and there will still be a chance you can get pregnant. So please go get the morning after pill NOW! Look on the NHS website and it will show you where you can go to get the morning after pill immediately and for free.
Secondly, go get an STD test ASAP!!! He is cheating on his girlfriend with you - he will be having sex with her, and god knows how many other girls so the chances are he could be spreading a good number of diseases! Again, use the NHS website and this will show you where the clinics are local to you that you can get a test done. It is free and pretty quick and painless - you really must get one done because you have no idea what he might have given you and they can be potentially fatal. So do the right thing and get tested as soon as you can.
Thirdly, he was cheating on his girlfriend with you therefore the chances are he feels guilty hence why he will always look back on having sex with you as a bad thing he did - he will never look back and think "that was amazing - I really enjoyed it".
There are a couple of reasons why you were not wet (it could be any of the following or a combination of all of them)
1. Sometimes no matter how turned on in your mind you are, you just cant get "wet" down there. No real explanation for it, sometimes it just happens.
2. You were nervous. nerves will stop you from getting properly lubricated down below.
3. You were not turned on by him or not in the mood for sex
You must realise that he is using you - I mean come on, he said you would be together after school and then oops, he has a new girlfriend. This guy clearly loves female attention and is using both of you (plus god knows how many others) to have his fun without caring about the consequences.
By sleeping with him and even just being involved with this guy, you are putting your health at risk and you are putting you heart on the line for someone that doesnt care about you.
The best thing you can do is put yourself first for once - take care of your body, stop taking risks with pregnancies and STD's. Take care of your heart too - surely you deserve more than some guy who has been messing you around and using you for years? You are still young so there is no need to be wasting time on a jerk like him. Oh and if you ever think of having sex again for gods sake use contraception!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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