A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a slightly overweight 20-year old female and I feel that my weight really affects how men view me. I feel that I'm really ready to be in a relationship, but it seems that absolutely no one is interested. I feel even more discouraged when I go to work (there are two other females besides me and I am the only single one) and no one shows any sort of interest. Is it at all possible to be attractive and just slightly "curvy?" If so, how is this possible?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): There's more than just body shape. smell , teeth, sound of voice, personal problems,wining,facial hair.We do look at the total package.Ask your best honest female friend for ideas on how to be more attractive.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): Curvy or obese is the question.I see the lipozene commercials on tv they say fat is not attractive.I'm sorry to say rainorfire speaks the truth for majority of men.Keep in mind the majority of men may not be suited for a relationship.I think it's evolution from caveman days of survival.Look at most women on tv, small waist, butt, big boobs.Guys are visual and that equals attraction at least on the initial meeting.I know some guys that like curvy girls.They don't like skinny girls at all.Everyone is a little different in attraction.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): Confidence is attractive. So is personality. But that's cliche so let me expand what I mean.In the end, we all get old and wrinkle up. Our bodies will change. Anyone who doesn't know that and face with that is setting themselves up for disappointment. Love and sex is 99% in the mind and heart anyway.The goal should be to have the same person who you can love and lust on wedding day, and on the day you retire with your senior citizen card, and when you check out from this earth on your deathbed. For me, having someone who misses me when I'm away, no matter if we are newlyweds or retirees. That's rare. Skinny is not that rare.Keep looking for people with the same commitment. They are out there.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 I hope you dont take Rainorfire's answer to heart - he is actually wrong about skinny people being healthier than larger people. Any person can have health problems, regardless of size. Yes obesity does carry lots of problems, but equally being underweight can cause a number of health problems that are very serious and life threatening.
Now the problem with the word "curvy" is some women use it when they are actually overweight and just wouldnt admit that they have a problem with their size. Whereas some women are actually curvy rather than a straight up and down bean pole! They have hips, good sized breasts, larger thighs and smaller waists (like an hourglass shape). That is a "curvy" woman - so I'm not sure whether that describes you or not?
Now I am a UK size 12 and I weigh currently 144 lbs, but I would like to lose another 14 lbs to be happy with my body. I am pretty short (5"3) and I have big boobs, big hips, a pretty shapely bum (think a slightly smaller J-Lo bum) but I've got a narrow waist, slender shoulders and lower legs. So when I do lose the extra few pounds I think I will have a nice "curvy" figure. Curves in the right places are whats important!
I have never ever struggled to attract a man - in fact it is more of a struggle to keep them away at the moment! I get much more attention than my skinny friends whose figures look like boys in my opinion! So being curvy is a good thing - men love women to look feminine and womanly, it is very sexy to have curves and know how to work them in the right clothes! Look at Dita Von Teese, Beyonce, J-Lo, Selma Hayek...there are lots of famous women out there with curves who look fantastic. They are not fat in any way, they exercise and are toned but still maintain a curvy figure rather than being skinny.
So what I say is learn to love your figure - if you are confident and happy with your body then that will shine through and people will see that - confidence is the most attractive thing! And learn how to dress your curves too - dont try and follow all the fashion trends, stick with things you know work best for you. Highlight all the good bits of your body and keep covered up the bits you dont feel comfortable with. Look to celebrities and the past for inspiration - the 1940's and 1950's were the best era's for women with hourglass figures so take inspiration from those decades.
Men like curvy girls, skinny girls, tall girls, small girls, fat girls....everyone has their own preference. There will be plenty of guys that are attracted to you, there will also be plenty that are not. Each to their own basically!
Dont be so conscious of yourself all the time - try just to get on with life, enjoy yourself and make the most of life. A good attitude towards life is more attractive than physical appearance - happy people attract more people, it really is that simple! Make the most of what you have, I'm sure there will be plenty of parts of your body that you like so be proud of that, any parts you dont like well work on them - go to the gym, go out jogging, take long walks - any form of exercise will only make your shape better so if there is something you want to change then do something about it!
But most of all, you are born with a genetic predisposition to have the body you have got right now. Your body will settle at a weight that is right for you - you cant fight nature so dont even waste your time worrying about your shape! You are who you are so be proud!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 honey, if you feel unattractive, then youre gonna look unattractive. after you get out of the shower stand in the mirror and look at yourself, do you have a round butt? full breasts? long legs? rounded hips? find a positive feature [we all have one dont get down on yourself] and WORK IT! remember youre postive attributes when you walk in a room and others will see them too. Youre attitude has a lot to do with the attraction factor. If youre comparing yourself to your coworkers and feeling unattractive all the time, people will see your insecurity, and lack of confidence. If you remember what you love about yourself, someone will be asking for your phone number.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): Confidence AND curves will make you very attractive to men. Go to the gym or use a Keep Fit dvd at home. After a few weeks you will tone up a little, people will remark on it, which will boost your confidence. And then go shopping for some flattering clothes. Pretty soon you will be fighting men off with a stick x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): What makes a girl attractive is self confidence, if you are confident in yourself than you will be attractive to boys.
Looks are not the most important thing.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 December 2009):
 IM a guy and I admit that i find skinny women more attractive then large ones in fact i think most of my friends agree on that too and seemingly most men. theres something about being lean.I once read that it means the women is healthier overall and prone to less health problems. When i see a guy with a large woman i start thinking he must be desperate i know thats shallow but thats what i think. But i kno that cant be the case all the time, You say your slghtly overweight im not sure how that translates visually but your young you can easily loose any extra weight i would suggest going to the gym get some work out equipment for doing sit ups and push ups. Think positive your guy will find you eventually.
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A
female
reader, Abbyrose +, writes (11 December 2009):
All I hear all the time is that guys are attracted to confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror and say that you are beautiful over and over. Your brain will soak it in. You'll feel better about yourself. Do it daily for 15 minutes. Trust me it'll work. Don't ever doubt yourself or think negative. I hope that helps.
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