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I found pictures of nude women on my b/f's computer!

Tagged as: Dating, Pornography, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I found a bunch of pictures of naked women on my boyfriend's cd and a small sex video. Is there something I should be worried about? I feel that he has a problem? Or also feeling that he's not getting enough sex in our relationship which leads me to think that he might be cheating. Or are naked pictures of women an indication of he just needing to jack off when he doesn't get any???

Help! Any advice would be most appreciated!

-Marie

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (21 December 2009):

bharat mehta agony auntMost men see porn, is true. The issue is how sex is interpreted. If sex reach up to psychology and not up to vision, then certainly meaning of sex is in the wrong place. I think, female as a character is wise in their expectation, then male. Most men can play sex daily, but to them it is a good medicine for having good release from tension, is not a real meaning of sex. Sex is not medicine, no matter how much people use it as a medicine and how successfully it work as a medicine.

Today, I read question asked by teen age male who ask: how sex feel inside and how sex feel in the mind !!! When he ask, how sex feel in MIND, is most intelligent question, is required to be discussed, both by husband and wife, and both by lovers in love. Or even together just for sex, and not for relationship. Even sex is good, if done for sex only and not in relationship, provided its meaning is properly realized.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2009):

k_c100 agony auntIts nothing to do with him not getting enough - even if you were having sex every day the chances are as soon as he gets a few minutes alone in front of his computer then he will have a quick look at porn. My boyfriend and I have sex pretty much daily, and see each other every day yet he still occasionally looks at porn.

I understand it does seem weird (I cant get my head around when my boyfriend finds the time to look at it!) but men and women approach sex and porn very differently. Men use it just as a release - if they are a bit stressed or have some pent up frustration then porn is the perfect outlet for that. Whereas as soon as a woman finds out their man is looking/watching porn, they see it as a personal attack on them and their relationship, so it must mean that the woman is doing something wrong.

The reality is porn is a bit of fantasy for men to release some tension over, it has no bearing or implications on your relationship what so ever. These women are not more attractive than you, your boyfriend doesnt want to be having sex with women that look like that etc etc.....

I'm sure your boyfriend loves you very much, he will be very happy with you and he will be incredibly attracted to you. Porn has no relation to his feelings towards you at all.

Try to stop worrying about this, it is very normal and most men out there look at porn so it is nothing unusual.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A male reader, Mr Me United States +, writes (10 December 2009):

Mr Me agony auntThe question I have for you is: does it look like internet porn or does it look like regular girls he might know? More importantly, does it look like girls you've seen him hanging out with?

If it does not, and it is internet porn, then stop fretting. This is normal... I can tell you as a guy who got sex every day and up to 4 times a day with his ex that I still masturbated and looked at porn to do so. However, I still loved and found my gf very attractive.

It is something us guys do and will always do regardless of how much sex we get. It bears absolutely no indication on how attractive we find our partners and certainly does not mean we aren't getting enough.

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