A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i recently turned 18. Like most teenagers, i have been long awaiting this time period in my life. Well the time came and all i want to do is have fun. but its like i cant. iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years. hes always been kinda controlling and iv just dealt with it. but now its so annoying. its like i traded one dad for another. if i hang out with my friends he has like panic attacks about what im doing. he calls and calls and complains that i dont wana sit and have a conversation with him while im with other people, and even if i sit there and talk to him for a little while he gets hatefull when i say im going to go. i just cant stand it. then if im with him and im planning to go to a friends house or something he acts like a baby and pouts the rest of the day. and if i stay the night with someone, the next day he asks me all kinds of questions about what we did. its driving me crazy and pushing me away from him so much. i love him but i hate our relationship and i tell him that things need to change but he doesnt listen. and lately iv been talking to another guy. i feel awful about to a point but then again i dont. im so bored with our relationship and i feel like hes my dad. hes 3 years older than me so he has had his time.i just wana have fun and it seems like he keeps me from having fun. iv posted numerous other questions on here because our relationship is so problematic, so i guess im asking if its worth it. should i stay with him and give up on having a good time and partying. or should i let it go and be single. i just dont have any idea of what to do. i love him but we have so many problems and i feel like if i can talk to another guy so easily then maybe i shouldnt be with him. im just so terrified that ill leave him and never find someone who loves me like he does. some days i can sit and honestly think i could be with him forever cause when were good were great and i feel so in love. but other days im just like why do i out myself through this crap. is it normal to feel that way in a relationship and should i be with him or not? thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much k_c100. that really was helpful. im still not a hundred percent positive on what to do but ill probably take your advice and let it go because i agree that ill end up hurting him and i dont want to do that. who would have ever known something iv looked so forward to could turn into such a disaster.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 It is very normal to feel this way - most girls your age feel like this, it is just part of growing up I'm afraid. Girls always want a boyfriend around the age of 15/16 and you are happy to be in a serious relationship. But then when you get to 18, things start to change. You suddenly have more freedom, you can drive, you will be able to drink in a few years, there are more parties etc and life becomes much more fun. So all of a sudden this serious relationship starts to hold you back whereas before it was the best thing ever.
So the best thing to do is let your boyfriend go - you will only end up hurting him. You only get one real chance to have fun before you have to start being all grown up when you get to about 22 (jobs, rent, bills etc) so make the most of it while you are young. Yes it is scary leaving someone who loves you so much, but what about you? Surely you want to be in a relationship where you feel the same way too? There is no point in staying with someone because they love you, dont they deserve to be loved back?
You will meet someone who you feel so much more for than you do for your current boyfriend, your frist love is only ever an introduction into love and each relationship you have afterwards just gets better and better.
You clearly dont want this relationship anymore, you have simply outgrown each other and want different things. If you stay with him you will only end up resenting him for holding you back in life, and that will make the relationship worse.
Just allow yourself to be young and free, these are the best years of your life and if he is not making you happy, well there is no point in keeping him in your life. And you will be doing him a favour as well - he clearly wants to settle down with a girl so he will be able to go off and meet someone who he can do this with, and he can be happy too.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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