A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im sorry that it is long but there is a lot to say.please give your advice :)there is this guy who my friend says like me. he stares at me everytime i go into the shop he works in, and it is sort of constant staring. he always smiles at me and comes over to talk to me and seems happy when he is talking with me and happy to see me. he asked how old i was and told me about him and his life and asked about mine. one time i went into the shop with a friend, to get a present for my friend. while we were in there, he kept looking at me all the time and i would look at him and we would both see the other one looking. when my friend went out to have a cigerette, and for me to get the present, as soon as my friend left, he came over and gave me a big smile and started talking to me, we talked for a long time about everything and he seemed to enjoy it, while we were talking we would look into each others eyes and he would smile at me, and look at me in a way i cant really describe (a good way), we would stand very close together to all the time. i told him about a problem i had with my xbox 360 and he said to bring it in tomorrow and he will have a look at it. so i did, turn out the hard drive was broken so he gave me a new one for free, they cost about £50. he didnt have to give it to me for free as i brought it there probably 3 years ago. however he has a girlfriend but has never really mentioned her. he once said that he came from his girlfriends house, thats how i know he has one, but that was in passing when he was saying something else. he also is going to spain with her in about a week and a half, but he only said with her when i asked him who is he going with. im sort of confused as he has a girlfriend but then he constantly stares at me and as my friend would say flirts really obvious with me. i want to repay him for fixing my xbox and giving me the free hard drive as i feel bad as it is a lot of money and stuff.so i went in there to ask him if he would let me buy him a drink to say thank you for helping me. i went in the shop with a friend and then he left to smoke a cigarette, and the man came over to me and started talking like we normally do. i made him laugh a lot and he seems really happy to be talking with me, he always looks me in the eyes and smiles when he sees me. i preordered a game and he was looking if there was any other ones, and preordered some for me without me even saying, and he preordered one for me because he was getting it too. it was late so the shop was going to close soon so he had to sort out the tills so before saying bye i asked if he would like to go out for a drink so i could say thank you for the other day. he said his girlfriend is extremely jealous and it is a very kind gesture, and that he would love to another time. he didnt say it in a fast, uninterested way. he said it with a smile and seemed genuine about it. but what do you think he meant, do you think he is interested in me? im confused, my friend seems to think that he really likes me and that it is obvious by the way he acts and tells me about his life and interests, by the way he stares at me and always talks to me and smiles and seems genuinely happy to see me and talk with me. we have a lot in common too. what do you think he meant by 'i would love to another time'?. since i can remember him working in that shop, he has always stared at me. he even did when he worked in it before the store moved which was about 2 years ago. but since it had moved it has been more intense, i think that is the right word. before he wouldnt really come over and talk but when the store moved he always asked me if i wanted help and now he just comes over to me and talks about normal stuff, doesnt even ask if i need help, just comes and talks. i hadnt been in the shop for a long time and i went in there the other day and he came straight over to me as soon as i walked in. he said that he hasnt seen me in ages and we talked for awhile. he was saying what he has been doing and that he has been doing interviews for the new jobs and i said that i was looking for a job as i was taking a gap year and he said i should apply there and that he will put in a good word for me. he said to bring my cv and a cover letter in the next day so i did. and then he called later that day to say he talked with the other deputy manager (he is one) and said i could have an interview and he gave me somes tips for it as it was with the manager and not him. he said if it was with him he could blag it.does he like me? im confused. i think he has been with his girlfriend for 3/4 years and they recently went on holiday together. i dont really know anything about them as he has never said anything other than what i already have wrote.please give me your advice
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 This is very simple - none of this matters because he is not available. You cannot date him, you cannot have a relationship with him - he loves someone else.
He is just a flirt, and yes he is attracted to you by the sounds of things but it does not mean he wants to go out with you. He has been with his girlfriend for years, he is not going to leave her just because he stares at you when you come into the shop.
Do you want to try and break them up? Do you want to steal another girl's boyfriend? Do you want to start a relationship by him cheating on his girlfriend? I very much doubt it.
He would not stay with a girl for 3-4 years if he did not love her. They would not be going on holiday together if they were not happy. He even turned you down when you asked him out! What more do you need to tell you this will never happen? He only said "I would love to another time" to be polite, nothing more - he just didnt want to hurt your feelings.
And the reason why he rarely mentions his girlfriend in conversations - he is just a great big flirt who likes to know that he can have girls hanging off his every word, it would totally ruin his fun to talk about his girlfriend all the time now wouldnt it! If he talked about his girlfriend you would not spend as long with him, therefore for him to be able to flirt away to his heart's content he just doesnt talk about her.
Just let this one go - he is just a big flirt that is not really interested in you, he is probably just bored at work and finds it fun to flirt with the pretty girl that likes him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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