A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know I shouldn't read into dreams, but last night I had a dream about my bf cheating on me. I saw him kissing another girl and we started to fight over it. I slapped him twice and yelled at him, asking if he left me for "something better". He said he would. And then I woke up.Some info about us: we've been a couple for 14 months now and we love each other very much. But I'm a very insecure person, I've been cheated twice in the past, which now makes me question his every move. Until now, he hasn't shown signs of cheating, he's a great man and promised he'll never hurt me...Should I consider this dream an alarm trigger for my relationship?Thank you!
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (27 October 2010):
 I really cannot recommend therapy enough for you - you have to deal with these issues otherwise you are going to ruin all the relationships you have because of these issues. I know here in the UK there are a number of charities and services available to young people under the age of 25 where you can get free counselling - it might be worth a try googling this but in your area.
These feelings you have will never go away unless you get professional help to work on them, and it will be the same with every man you meet - you will experience the exact same problems and it will end up ruining a perfectly good relationship.
Alongside your insecurity issues, you have experienced abuse, you have low-self esteem and you possibly have clinical depression. You absolutely need to seek professional help - this is not something you can deal with on your own, or something your boyfriend can make better.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your encouraging answers.
Indeed I have insecurity issues, I couldn't get over my childhood events, I've been mentally abused by some of my relatives, cheated on in the past, I'm a depressed person, but I know I have to be strong so I can finish my studies and start becoming responsible for my life.
This dream just seemed so real, that it made me scared. When I woke up, I had a feeling of uneasiness. How did I had this dream you may ask: that day we went out to see a show and a random sexy girl sat in front of us. She was wearing a short skirt and my boyfriend was looking at her legs. I pretended I didn't see any of it. But inside I felt like burning of anger.
So in the dream popped-up that image of her, they were lying on the couch, kissing and I asked him why would he do that. He said that she's got nice legs. So in my dream he thought that she had nice legs. In real life he was starring at them.
I know he wouldn't cheat on me, because he loves me, and I know that men are visual creatures, but these peeps make me feel inferior and make me feel that he's being with me because he couldn't get something better. He told me several times before that he wouldn't go for someone else, but I'm so confused. I'm average looking, I don't have big boobs or sexy legs, but he's so handsome and when we go out, all women are turning their heads over the shoulder to see him. I'm scared that one day he might fall for one of them.
I don't know...
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (26 October 2010):
 A dream says more about insecurities than anything he's ever likely to do. That's why dreams are best forgotten when we wake up. The most intelligent thing you could do is to forget about the silly dream and concentrate on your relationship.
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A
male
reader, BigSambo +, writes (26 October 2010):
I will tell u this; someone I personally know went on a business trip and after a long day he went back to his hotel room, called a massage parlor, they sent him a girl, she gave him a massage and and ended up having sex with her. His wife had a dream the same night that he took a girl to his hotel room and had sex with her.
This is very true and it scared the hell out of him and he never cheated again.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (26 October 2010):
Its a dream. It means absolutely nothing. It has no impact on your day to day life whatsoever.
Dreams are your brain's way of interpreting all the signals it gets during the day that it does not have time to deal with while you are awake (as there are new inputs coming in all the time). Therefore if you are already insecure, and you constantly question his every move - then subconsciously you are already accusing him of cheating. So your dreams are just interpreting all your thoughts and worries during the day - and have made it into a visual image.
This dream you had was just a visual acting out of what you worry about during the day - this is just your anxiety and insecurities. Because this is a fear based dream (the fear of being cheated on) it could actually relate to a number of things - it does not necessarily relate to cheating. You might be afraid of a number of things currently going on in your life, maybe a fear of failing an exam etc. Dreams often do not directly relate to what is going on in your day to day life, they just take one element e.g. whatever you are afraid of during the day, and that manifests itself as something else at night.
If we really want to get quite psychological now it could also be related to some childhood issues of abandonment. For example, children whose parents have divorced, or where a parent has died - these children (and even into adulthood) often have bad dreams which is an expression of this fear of abandonment, which can commonly be a dream where their partner abandons them through cheating and choosing another partner over them.
So there are a variety of reasons why you may have had this dream, and it does signal that you are quite troubled by these insecurities and possibly childhood issues - but none of it means your partner is cheating on you. My suggestion is that if you really are struggling with your anxieties and insecurities you seek therapy as this is the only way to deal with it, otherwise you will never trust any man and it will come to ruin every relationship you have.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): No, do not let this trigger anything. However, to help u feel more secure, ask your bf for reassurance that he wouldnt cheat.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (26 October 2010):
 No, no, no. Don't read too much into dreams. They are a reflection of things that you might be worried about, but they are not evidence that he is cheating on you! It sounds like this may just be a lurking fear that you have that is imprinting itself on your dreams. Maybe you're scared that he's going to screw up and hurt you like your past two exes?
Do some extra things together... take walks, go on an extra date. Little things that might make you feel more secure in your relationship. But, by checking in on him too often and overwhelming him with questioning his every move will only push him farther. So check yourself before you wreck yourself! Get involved with more independent activities so your life doesn't become obsessing about his life. Good luck!!
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