A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi to all who read this...well I need some help there this guy I like I found him at my friends party he was sweet,nice, funny and so on but he is a good friend of my friend which is a she and now I want to get to know him better but I found out she care about him I want to be with him but don't know how to let him know now that is what make me feel bad I can't go out with him Ill feel like I stole him from my best friend and she alway around him what I'm to do? help me I want to get to know him more but my friend cares for him and I do to she has no idea I like him the worst part is I told her to go for this guy she likes befor he slips away but I dident know it was the same guy I like now what to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u so much I told her if she cares for him go for it...I happy with having her as my best friend then no friend but thank u all...xox
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Friends over boyfriends. And in this case you don't even know the guy yet, you just like him. You can afford to let him go. At the end of it all he might like someone else and neither of you two, and then you will be without a guy and without a friend. It is very difficult to have a friendship when you are "competing" over the same prize.
However you could tell your friend that you kinda like the same guy, but that you are going to backk off since you value the friendship over the guy, and ask her to maybe not talk so much to you about him? And then hurry up and find a new hottie to rest your eyes on so you wont get jealous.
This'll be fine, let the guy go and stay friends.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Basically if you care about your friend, and want her to still be your friend - then leave him alone. Friends should always come over guys, because guys come and go but friendship (if taken care of) lasts forever. No guy is worth messing up a friendship over, so just let this one go.
She has obviously liked him a lot longer than you, and you even told her to go for it with him - so you cannot jump in now, it would be very very wrong. Imagine how you would feel if the situation was reversed - imagine she had told you to go for it with him before she had met him, but now she wants to be with him - I bet you would be so mad at her and very hurt that she would do such a thing to you.
There are plenty of guys out there, so just let him go. And as Aunty BimBim said, he might not even like either of you! Or he might like your friend, and not you, or he might like you and not your friend. But you have to let your friend have the first chance with him - if he rejects her without knowing that you like him - then it would be ok to go after him. But ONLY after your friend has let him know how she feels, she liked him first and she deserves for you to be a good friend and just back off until the situation changes (if it ever does).
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Have you considered he might not want to be with either of you?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 October 2010):
 You'll probably hear different things from different people, but I know that my best friend means the world to me. If I were single, and my best friend cared for a guy, he would be off limits to me unless nothing came of it. Then I'd discuss it with her and make sure she would be okay with it.
Trust me, for every guy that catches your eye at a party, there's...another guy who will catch your eye. But best friends are one in a million, and they're there through thick and thin!
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