A
female
age
26-29,
*hloe.answers.
writes:Moderator note: two questions from the same addressHello.Well me and this guy are talking and I want to have unprotected sex one time and he does too, because he said if you want to we can do it one time. Well we have only had sex 4-5 times with condoms. But I kinda want a kid with him. Should I or not?Me and this guy are having sex and we have done it a few times and it feels really great. But it always ends quickly and I never get off. I get close sometimes but he always gets done before me. I'm starting to think it bothers him or hurts his ego when I don't get off.. What can we do?!? Please help....
View related questions:
condom, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): hii...
soo, your age is listed as 13-15. and even though you might not feel like it, you are still a child. having a baby is a huge, life-changing decision that comes with a lot of responsibility. and at your age, you're not ready for that. haven't you ever seen the show on mtv called '16 and pregnant' or 'teen mom'? those girls are older than you, and even they aren't ready for the responsibilities of raising children. babies are a lot of work, and they cost a lot of money. personally, i believe that even having sex is far too big of a responsibility for you at your age. you need to just be enjoying your youth before you have to look after someone else's.
good luck, and God bless,
~sarsar~
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 First things first, here is what you need to think about before having a baby:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a child?
3. Do you have a good career with future prospects?
4. Does your partner have a good career where he can support you and the child?
5. Have you finished your education?
6. Do you have a car?
7. Do you have some savings ready to fork out the initial costs of having a child? Like buying all the things you need in preparation for a child?
8. Do you have a supportive family network around you?
9. Are you ready to give up going out with friends, having any money to buy clothes/make-up etc for yourself? All for the baby? You will have no time or money for yourself so you need to be ready to give up a lot for this child
Think about it this way - you want to give your child the best life you possibly can, but is this possible at your age? Or would you be able to provide more for your child, like educational toys, days out, more knowledge and wisdom, a better family environment, if you waited a few years?
The reason why most people wait until they are in their 20's to have kids is so they can finish their educations, get good jobs that pay well (children are SO expensive, they estimate it will cost over $100,000 until the child is 18), and more importantly - so that you are wise enough and knoweldgeable enough to raise a child well. When the child comes to you asking for help with its homework, or wants to know some deep question about life, normally you need a good amount of life experience behind you to really give your child the knowledge and values it needs to set them up in life. And if you have not lived, and all you have done is quit school to have a child, you are not going to be able to give it the rounded, knowledgeable childhood it needs to turn the child into a well-rounded adult.
Think about if you are in a position to give the child the best life possible, or if you need to get your life sorted first. There is never any harm in waiting, if you have a child at 23/25 you will still be a young mum but at least you will be in a better place in life to handle having a child.
Having a baby now will not make your life better - it will only make it worse. You will have no money, no friends, and no future. The baby wont show its love for you for a few years - at first it is just a pooping, eating and sleeping machine that is only interested in the people that feed it. Love is not enough for a child - it needs the support of 2 adults (mum and dad) who are mentally and emotionally ready for a child and the hardship it brings. You cannot give the child all it needs on love alone, a baby needs so much more.
So please DO NOT have unprotected sex with him, even having sex just once without a condom could very easily get you pregnant, even if he does not cum inside you, there is still a thing called pre-cum which leaks out of the penis before he ejaculates and this also contains sperm. You are far too young to have a baby and not in any way ready to have a child, so please be sensible and dont have unprotected sex.
As for the other issue - all the other answers you have received have pretty much hit the nail on the head. A lot of women cant orgasm through penetrative sex alone, stimulating the clitoris is the easiest (and to most women, feels the best too) way to have an orgasm. Also, if you feel he is climaxing too quickly before you can really enjoy yourself, he needs to learn to slow down a bit and if he feels he is getting too close then he can learn to bring himself back from this point - but this does take some practice on his part. You can also buy condoms that have a special subtstance in them that numb the penis a little bit so the man can last longer - they might be worth a try.
I really hope you listen to everything that has been said on here - you are incredibly young to be having sex, let alone a baby. Children can come in the future when you are better prepared for one, so for now just enjoy being a teenager.
I hope this helps and good luck!
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Well I'll answer your second question first. Most women can't orgasm from penetrative sex alone. It's around a quarter who can. Most women either need oral or digital stimulation to get off. If you actually are getting close from sex, then make sure he knows when he's getting close. Tell him to stop when he starts to get close and count something or think about something unsexy. While he's doing that, use your fingers until he's not close anymore. Then keep going at it. Then repeat until you can finish.
Now the first question. If you have a baby at your age, the guy will be prosecuted for statutory rape. You cannot legally consent to sex according to the law. So if you have a baby, they'll know you have had sex, find the guy, and throw him in jail. Not what either of you wants. As well, you've had sex 5 times. That's such a ridiculously short period of time that you shouldn't even be thinking about this, let alone actually planning on it. Snap out of it. You cannot have a baby with some guy you barely know, below the age of consent, and while you're still just a kid yourself. Babies cost money, they take time, and you'll get this guy thrown in jail. Seriously, snap out of it. You're talking about this almost like you want to trick him into having a baby with you, which really should be illegal as it's so deceitful and life-ruining for him. You will ruin both your lives. Is that really what you want? Either keep using condoms or stop having sex. It's that simple. No glove, no love. Don't ruin your lives cause you "kinda want a kid with him." Seriously.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Stop having sex. You are far too young, you knew this answer was inevitable, you were bound to hear it and inside, you know it is true. You are simply not ready yet and neither is your boyfriend. Not for sex and certainly not for a child. You two are still growing up and though it may not seem as though there will be any problems, believe me when I tell you that there will be. There will be problems that may shatter your world if you are not careful. It is normal to want for sex at your age, after all, your hormones are coursing through your veins, forcing your hand acts that may very well damage your life.
You cannot bring a child into this world just yet. Wait until you are older, at least over 18 and then you will see why it was wise to wait. Sex is just as much emotional as it is physical and right now, your emotions cannot be fully trusted. Just wait to have a child and do not do something you will regret.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
