A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey Aunts I kind of have a few questions, a bit awkward but I literally had nowhere else to go. I have no mother I could ask about these kind of things and I'd have to ask my dad to go to the doctor and he'd get all overprotective and want to know every little thing and it would just be too awkward... and so we turn to Cupid...I'm thirteen, I'm kind of midway through puberty, and I'm a very awkward, shy introverted kind of person. I became a woman almost two years ago. Except my periods have stopped coming normally, I've got nothing for this month and last and two months before that they were really weird. I'm still a virgin so I know I'm not pregnant (with my overprotective dad it would be impossible to be anything else) is this normal and is there anyway to fix it? Would being active in sports cause it to change, one of my friends said it would and do you have any advice on how to tell when your period is coming because I honestly can't tell till I see the red. And another puberty question: I know your supposed to get hair on your legs and privates but is it normal to start to get hair on your hands your fingers, your toes and your lower back and even a little weird dark hair about six inches beneath your collar bone, not much just about six or seven strands, I mean is this normal for a girl or is something wrong with me? I'm a little embarrassed asking here but please don't laugh, I could really use your help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Yes you are normal. Being active is good for you, so dont stop because you think its slowing down your periods. It isnt. Some girls do get a lot of symptoms before a period. Others hardly get any symptoms at all. My periods were all over the place for a few years to begin with. I worried about it alot and wore pads all the time because i was really worried something would happen when i was out! It can be really annoying but hang in there. As you get older they will become regular and you wont have to be on constant alert all the time.
With unwanted body hair. Its the same hormones that are making the pubic and under arm hair grow, that is also suddenly making patches of unwanted hair appear. I had that too but laser treatment sorted that out for me.
If it really bothers you, you could go onto one of the contraceptive pills. But as long as you feel well and you arent thinking of a relatonship just yet, id leave the pill for later.
As for not having a mum to talk to. Do you have an aunt you trust or any older female relatives? If so, do talk to them about things. There are lots of little things we girls worry about. But when you talk to others, you find out we all worry about the same things and they are usually normal things really. But if you dont talk to anyone, you will never find that out and always worry too much. Thats why we all like to chat :-)
If you really have no one else to talk to. Then you must be very mature and talk to your dad if you are ever worried about anything. And if theres ever a health issue. And you dont want to discuss it with him, but want a doctors appointment. Just say you are ok but want to speak to a doctor over a womans issue and hes not to probe for more information!! He will understand x
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Ok I'll try and answer your questions in order:
1. Periods
You are not actually mid-way through puberty until you are about 15/16, no matter how young you are to start puberty. So having irregular periods even into your early 20's is very normal. You are not having sex so there is nothing to worry about - this is just your body finding its own rhythm. HOWEVER if you are finding them problematic and stressful, then going onto the birth control pill will help. I will talk more about this in a minute.
2. Signs you are getting your period
Some girls have bad PMT (pre-menstrual tension - also called PMS - Pre-menstrual syndrome) so they know when it is coming, others dont get any signs. However generally these are some indicators you MAY have that will help you to notice when your period is coming:
- Stomach Cramps
- Spots/Acne
- Moodiness, being quite hormonal, getting upset easily, snapping at people easily etc
- Swollen/tender breasts
- Tiredness
- Feeling bloated
3. Body Hair
Everyone is different and hair is due to genetics. If you have dark hair and darker skin then often you can have more hair than others. Your ethnic origin also has an effect on this - typically asian, mediterranean & hispanic people suffer from darker body hair, when compared to typical white causican people. There are a few things you can do about this, including waxing, bleaching, epilating, shaving (not recommended for anywhere but underarms & legs) or laser hair removal. I find wax is the easiest option for small patches of random hair - I get hair on my fingers which I use shop-bought mini wax strips to remove. I have to do this about once every 1-2 weeks but it makes the hair finer and grow slower so it is worth it. It is not painful when it is just a small area, and you can get these smaller wax strips in pharmacies and grocery stores.
4. What to do next!
If I were you I would make an appointment to see your doctor - there is something they can do for both your irregular periods and excess hair. The birth control pill not only stops you getting pregant, but has many other fantastic properties that can solve a multitude of problems! So while you are not having sex and wont be for a long time, your doctor could put you onto a particular type of birth control pill that will regulate your periods and make your hair growth slow down or become finer hair. The pill works by controlling your hormones, and while they control your egg being released from your ovaries, they also regulate the levels of other hormones in the body, like testosterone (the male hormone that is present in females). And testosterone is thought to be responsible for body hair - therefore some particular types of birth control pill can reduce the levels of testosterone in the body which in turn slows down body hair growth (not the hair on your head dont worry!) or makes the hair lighter in colour.
So going on the pill (on the right one - as advised by your doctor) will make your periods regular and reduce your hair problems, now that is worth the visit! I am sure you wont want to tell your dad that you are wanting to go on the pill if he is very protective so I would just say something like this "dad, I would like to see the doctor as I am having a few girl problems, regarding my periods" - this should be more than enough information he wants to hear (men hate discussing periods!) so he will be happy to arrange an appointment for you.
But even if you dont go to the doctor, everything you are experiencing is totally normal and within a few years everything should settle down.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): Odds are really (REALLY) good that you're 100% normal. Hair growth is hereditary. Some people have virtually none (or it's really fine and light), some people (like those of us from Mediterranean decent) have more.
Your periods can be affected by being athletic, or even being very thin. Since you've started your period, you need to get a gynecologist and start having annual checkups. Find a young woman gyno, and learn to TRUST her 100%. She has taken an oath to protect your interests and health (not your fathers interested, no matter who's paying!). She's there to assist you, and that includes answering questions. All young people have lots of querstions and fears - it's part of growing up. Just be glad you have a site like this one to get some kind of support! It's great, and I keep coming back to assist folks, as I had ZERO assistance when I needed it.
Relax, but do find a Dr. that you like and can share all your questions and concerns. They're professionals, they've seen and heard stuff that you're questions will come NO WHERE close to being odd! Best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): do you have a female school counsellor who could liaise between you and your Dad to arrange for you to discuss your puberty concerns with a Doctor? The hair growth may be hereditory, some people are more hairy than others, but it is the hair issue i would want checked out with the Doctor. Missing periods, despite no sexual activity, is normal, your body is still adjusting. Trying too hard to diet and not eating properly can affect the frequency of periods. So too can excessive exercise cause cessation of periods. Some girls with eating disorders also have cessation of periods when they get to a bad stage in that illness. Your periods and the regularity of same may not settle down until you are maybe closer to 16. Your body is still adjusting to the hormones in you. Please recognise that you are still a child growing into a young woman. And please do not be in a rush to become sexually active while you are a child, as you are now.
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