A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am getting married in 2 weeks and in the past week some things have gone wrong. I bought a new TV and as I was setting it up, it fell and broke and unfortunately the warranty does not cover this, so I had to throw it away :( I haven't told my fiance about this because she is so stressed out about the wedding and we are running on a tight budget and I want to try and help reduce the stress, rather than add to it. So I borrowed money to pay for another TV and now I am in debt, but she does not know about it. Should I tell her the truth? or will it just make her feel more stressed right now and would it be a better idea to tell her after the wedding?
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debt, fiance, money, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): Don't start marriage lying about stuff...tell her as the prior poster did "like yesterday".
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hi, welcome to marriage. Hiding this now will make things very bad for you in the future.
Tell her. Like, yesterday.
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A
female
reader, fisch777  +, writes (11 November 2010):
Even if it makes her more stress. do you want to start off your marriage with a little lie. It obviously is bothering you or you wouldn't have asked on here so I'd just tell her. Especially since her money is your money once you getting married.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Well first things first:
1. The money you borrowed, is it a loan, or credit card? or something else?
2. Are the re-payments coming out of a joint bank account or your own individual account?
3. Are the re-payments small enough for you to manage or are you going to struggle?
I would say to either tell her before the wedding or dont tell her at all. And my suggestion if its a small loan that you can handle on your own, that is coming out of your account rather than a joint one - dont tell her at all. You can still have some elements of your life that you dont share, and if it is YOUR TV that YOU can afford the re-payments for and you are using your OWN money to pay for, then it doesnt matter if she knows about the debt or not.
But then again, if you already have other debts and have now added to them with an extra one - then tell her (providing she already knows about them!) because she wont want you to hide something like this when you are already struggling.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 November 2010):
 First, try to return the TV and get the money back to pay off the debt. Now is the last time to rack up more bills - the wedding is going to turn out to be even more expensive than you've already planned, I guarantee it.
If she can't handle the added stress of a missing TV during a time when she's not going to get much chance to watch it, that's one of those problem's I'd say to ignore.
If you can't get the money back, you have to tell her immediately. Money is one of the biggest factors in screwing up marriages, and you do not want to start on the wrong foot by concealing things from her. What if she had a student loan debt she didn't tell you about? The responsible thing to do is get the money back, and tell her immediately if you can't.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): If you can pay it off by working extra and you think it will work out, then dont tell her now because it will stress her out, but I do think she should know about it eventually because she is about to be your wife and lying to her now means that you will never last in a marriage. Also I think you need to realize that a wedding takes alot of money and you need to be careful, when I get married I know I will not be buying TWO or even one tv, especially only a month before the wedding.
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