A
male
age
30-35,
*oderlee
writes:Me and my current girlfriend got together shortly after we broke up with our ex's. She had sex with her ex the day before he broke up with her, and we had sex every day for about two months after that, with me inducing her period for a short time near the beginning, before we found out she was pregnant. We both assumed it had the possibility, albeit a tiny one, that the ex could be the father, since the conception date fit. We are at month 6 now, and she's having thoughts of going back to her ex instead of staying with me, even if the child is mine.Now, we are going to do a DNA test to make sure we know who the dad is, and if the Child is mine, I am going to sign the birth certificate, no exceptions.I'm wondering if I the Child is mine, will I have to pay child support if she does leave me? Or is that a State defined thing?
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male
reader, moderlee +, writes (3 November 2010):
moderlee is verified as being by the original poster of the question@k_c100,
That's how I feel. I want her to be with me if the baby is mine, and that's what we agreed on from the beginning. But recently it seems like she wants to be with the Ex more then me. And I'm going to fight for her and the Child until I die because that's just the way I am, and I also don't like how the Ex treated my girlfriend when they were together. And it baffles me that she wants to go back to that, even more so with my possible child.
Now, I'm not going to keep her with me if the Child is his, just because I feel that the Child shouldn't have a broken family (I went through that personally and I have complexes with people leaving me now). Thank you for your quick response. I appreciate it :)
--ModerLee
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Basically if the child is yours i.e. if the DNA test proves you are the father, then yes you have to pay child support regardless of who the mother is in a relationship with.
You chose to have sex with her, and regardless if you wanted to get her pregnant or not, you have to deal with the consequences. If you are legally the father (i.e. DNA test has proved this and you are on the birth certificate) then you are legally obligated to pay for your child. Surely as the father you will want to make sure you provide for your child, even if your girlfriend is no longer with you? It is not the child's fault if she does not love you anymore or wants to be with her ex - all the child wants is for mum and dad to love him/her and support him/her the best they can. And that includes financially.
What I suggest you do is seek counselling for your relationship - it would be foolish for her to leave you for her ex when you are having a baby together, a child needs a stable family unit so she should want to do all she can to provide the best life for her child. And in this case, the best life for her baby is to have mum and dad together - so make sure you fight for her and this relationship for the sake of the child. You have not been together long enough to give up on the relationship yet, so try and talk to her and see if she will go to couples counselling to work on your relationship.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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