A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend over six years but recently I feel like were drifting apart. We are so different and even my family are noticing it and have told me that as much as they like him that they feel he is holding me back, although I don't agree with this I have to admit even though I still love him I'm finding it hard to imagine us being together in another six years time. Is this bad? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Well based on your age, you have been with him since you were between 16-19. Of course you are going to feel differently - after 6 years going through the biggest changes of your life (from a teenager to an adult, through uni/college, getting a job, moving away from home etc) then the chances of you growing together (rather than apart) are slim. No-one will look back and say they are the same person aged 16 as they are when they are 23, you change so much, learn so much and develop mentally so much. Therefore to feel different about your partner that you have been with from such a young age is totally normal, so no this isnt bad.
If you cannot imagine yourself with him in 6 years, then clearly you cannot imagine marrying this man and spending the rest of your life with him. So I guess it is up to you if you want to carry on as you are, knowing you love him but havnt got a future, or you can end it and move on. It depends if you want to spend some time as a single girl, getting to be independent for the first time in your life and having a bit of fun, and then finding mr right. Or you can carry on with the familiar, safe option. But I feel it isnt really fair on him if you do this, because you dont want to be with him forever therefore you should not hold him back from going off and finding a woman that does.
Having some time (a good few months) to yourself, being single and re-discovering who you are as a person (rather than one half of a couple) will be good for you, I really think it might be best to let him go as you clearly dont want a future with him. You are still young so there is no rush to get married or have kids, so you can just take some time out and enjoy yourself. Then when you have had some time to yourself, and time to reflect back on your relationship, then you can think about finding a guy who you want to be with forever. Real love, one where you know it is right, should feel like you cant imagine your life without him. Not where you cant imagine him in your life in 6 years time!
I think you know this relationship has run its course, so do the right thing and let him go, so you can both go on to find people you are crazy about and want to be with forever.
I hope this helps and good luck!
|
