A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK i need help here.When it comes to looks I'll admit it im not happy with how i look (well im not happy about one thing and thats my weight, Im a UK size 22)Anyways I was with my bf the other day and I dont remember how the convo came about but he said that he thinks keira knightley is hot. He's only ever seen her in the movie domino though but still he said he thinks shes hot.I cannot get this outta my head. I seem to see keira everywhere on tv all of a sudden and it gives me a sick feeling inside.Keira is one of those girls you see and yes she is beautiful but shes very thin, like you see her bones ALOT because shes so skinny and im so far from skinny. And in that movie she has short brown/black hair and i have long red hair. I just dont look anything like her at all and i guess because he said shes hot its made me super insecure and thinking he maybe doesnt want me or think im as hot. which is kinda stupid because he prefers chubby girls, but then i was like if he prefers chubby girls why is she hot but then again just because shes skinny doesnt mean she isnt beautiful because she is.Ok this is just killing me can someone please tell me a way to get rid of these thoughts and make me feel better about myself.Hes said other girls such as carrie (kings of queens) and kate beckinsale is hot and i seem to be fine with that so whats my deal.
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female
reader, sugarcandy  +, writes (12 November 2010):
A man can find different types of women beautiful- some not for physical reasons but personality, or mannerisms, or confidence etc.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Kiera Knightly? Is that the girl whose body was digitally enhanced for an entire movie to give her a cleavage? Now think for a second on how that might have made her feel. If she ever felt insecure over her breast size?
Would YOU feel insecure about it if you had your body and saw all these big boobed women around?
Yes? Then do you see just how silly it is to let these insecurities affect your life? It doesn't matter what shape you got, somewhere out there is someone with a shape you think is better.
The problem isn't your size 22, if your were size 0, you would be insecure about your redhair. If you were a brunette, you would worry about the feisty redhead.
Deal with your insecurity, because it has been known to poison relationships. Because if he says he loves you, you are basically saying that he is lying and you don't believe it.
How does that make him feel? How would it make you feel to constantly have to convince a bf that he is perfect for you, that no you don't wish he was taller, or bigger or had more hair or richer?
It might not be easy to accept that you are alright for him, but remember, "pretty" size 0 girls get dumped to. Kiera got dumped, so her size 0 wasn't perfect for someone was it?
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (11 November 2010):
 viv acious makes an excellant point, think about the guys you fancy. Would you rather be with them than your bf? Do you fancy your bf any less for not looking like them? I'm willing to bet your answer is a no on both accounts!
But, let me tell ya, that keira knightly has a lot to answer for! my bf is also a fan and I'm also a curvy girl (uk 14) and as my bf is always saying he prefers women to have a womans body I was amazed as to why he'd fancy super skinny keira! She is a beautiful girl but she's a fantasy. Your man has chosen to be with you because he loves you and you are the most beautiful person in the world to him. The fact that you look nothing like keira is of no relevance...has every guy you've ever fancied all looked the same? Keep telling yourself every single day that you're the one he wants to be with, the one he desires and that you are a beautiful woman...believe me, you WILL start to believe it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Tell him how it`s made you feel. If He`d said someone resembling you be honest with yourself,would you feel different? I`m sure he doesnt mean it half as deep as you have taken it.
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A
female
reader, Jeanine72 +, writes (11 November 2010):
Okay, first off, I need to let you know that I can relate to how you feel. It is never a good feeling when your guy says some other woman is hot. You are not alone in that, so don't worry. However, keep in mind that he is with YOU, not her or anyone else. Just because they think someone else is hot, does not mean that is what they want. If he wanted skinny, he'd go for skinny! Keep that in mind. Just because you find something 'hot' about someone, does not mean that is what you want to pursue for yourself in a partner. I am fond of the 'bad boys' with tattoos and muscles when watching a movie or tv show. However, my boyfriend is a little on the squishy side and not a single tattoo. I think the bad boys are hot, but don't want one. I hope this makes sense. Feel good about who you are. Know that he is with YOU. And also know, that he didn't make that comment to hurt you. He was just voicing his opinion. He would probably feel bad if he knew it bothered you so much. So, you can either let it go and realize it was just an offhanded comment that all boys make at some point, or you can talk to him about it. If you chose to tell him it bothered you, though, don't go at it in a combative way. Don't be 'mad' or 'upset' when you discuss it, because honestly, I'd be willing to bet he didn't say it to hurt you. Hope this helps...
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A
female
reader, Viv Acious +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hello. The way to get rid of these thoughts is to recognise that:a) This man is your boyfriend and has chosen to be with you - a real, flesh and blood person. Kiera Knightly is a fantasy figure with the benefits of make-up, lighting, and air-brushing. Have you ever seen these celebrities without make-up? Perhaps go to youtube and look up celebrities without make-up - may make you gasp in horror.b) think of the male celebrities you fancy. Let's say it's Brad Pitt. Does your boyfriend look like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp? Y'know, not many people do. If you were to tell youf b/f about your male fantasy figures, would he feel inadequate? This is always the problem when couples talk about the 'stars' they fancy. They compare themselves and find themselves lacking in some area and then all kinds of insecurities can surface - demonstrated by sulking, moodiness, paranoia, suspicion, self-loathing and withdrawal. So, you are a larger lady and you thought your man only liked larger ladies and he probably does. Yes, Kiera Knightly does look as though she is about to collapse at any second from malnutrition (or maybe she really is an animated skeleton from the Disney studios!) but she has a really, really pretty face - ain't no denying that. Many men I know would list her face as very beautiful but just WAY, way too thin.Perhaps, if you have feelings of insecurity about your weight, then you could use this opportunity to start looking inside and begin tackling any issues of low self-esteem and build up your confidence.Best of luck to you.XX
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I think the reason you feel so bad about this one rather than the other 2 celebrities you mentioned is because she is SO thin, she will be the complete opposite of you whereas at least Kate Beckinsale (while still very slim) has some curves and is more feminine. Whereas Keira Knightly, while incredibly beautiful, is the complete opposite of what a feminine body shape is meant to be. She is straight up and down, no boobs, no hips, short hair etc - she is quite boyish in the way she looks. Whereas you will be voluptous, feminine and curvy. So naturally it worries you that he is with you yet attracted to someone who is the complete opposite of you.
I also think as women, while we can appreciate Keira Knightly's beauty, we find it hard to see someone who looks almost anorexic as attractive. To a lot of women, she is skin and bones therefore to find that attractive, we just cannot understand why a man would!
I cant really explain the male attraction to her (maybe some guys might come in and help me out here!), but each to their own I guess! Just like us girls, we can find skinny men like Jude Law attractive but then also find more muscular celebs like Vin Diesel attractive too. They both have very different body shapes but I am sure there are some women out there who find them both attractive!
It really isnt anything to be worried about, he is with you because he loves you and wants to be with you - he wouldnt want to be with you if he wasnt attracted to you now would he?! Attraction is a big part of a relationship, so obviously is attracted to you otherwise he wouldnt still be with you.
I'm sure you know this but at a UK size 22 and at your age, it really is not healthy. Now being Keira Knightly size is ridiculous and unnatainable for us ordinary folk, but maybe trying to loose a little weight would do wonders for your confidence and for your health. Celebs only look the way they do because they are paid to - I'm sure if someone told us we can make a million for 6 months filming if we lost some weight, we would all do it! They have money, airbrushing, make-up artists, hair stylists, good lighting and personal trainers to help them look the way they do. So never compare yourself to any celebrity, it is a fruitless exercise that will only make you feel down about yourself.
But what you can do is just try and fit in a little exercise where you can and eat a bit better, the weight will drop off quite fast at your size if you make a few small changes. And then once the weight has come off, you will feel fantastic, your boyfriend will love it and you will never worry about skinny celebs again!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Ok, i bet you find some celebrity attractive. Brad pitt? Johnny depp? I'm guessing your boyfriend doesn't look like brad pitt but you still find him attractive and want to be with him right? Yes he might find kiera knightly attractive but that doesn't mean he wants to run off with somebody boney like her.
That's what celebrities are there for, to like attractive because it's all part of the fantasy and it sells. Don't take it personally, please don't.
I remember once i went back to this guys place and he had a calander of these girls in bikinis and even though i'm 5'7 and slim i felt a bit insecure seeing their perfect bodies. But they had been airbrushed and aren't really real and at the end of the day this guy had taken me back to his place not the blonde thing on that picture.
If your boyfriend wanted to be with a skinny girl then he would be, he's not and he chose you so please don't let it get to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Youre not unreasonable. In fact, Id feel insecure too. You just need to ask him for reassurance that he is more attracted to u than not just keira or other celebrities, but also any other girl. I e you are the one and only for him. You should also tell him that u dont like his comments and that they hurt you. He should be at least that sensitive and if he's not, Id say you have a red flag. Good luck :)
PS Red hair is gorgeous!
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