A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can I break up with my boyfriend of 2 years and 4 months? I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore. This year was his 1st year of college but I could feel us drifting sorta. He even told me that for the past 2 weeks he's been wanting to tell me to stop talking to him because of how busy and how much pressure he was in. I want to break up with him but I'm afraid he'll kill himself. I've tried before, the 1st time he tried choking himself, the 2nd he was going to drink himself to death and the 3rd he just told me I'll never find anyone that loves me like he does and says he won't have a reason to live without ms and ends up guilting me back to him. What's should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2011):
 I like what K_C100 said.
he is blackmailing you and bullying you into staying.
Sadly when they get like this the only thing that works is to walk away. It hurts them and us but we have to say "NOT MY PROBLEM"
when they try to get us to stay through maniuplation and blackmail.
A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (31 October 2011):
 Exactly what kc100 said.Break up with him. It isn't working out and he is clinging to you the only way he knows how, by playing on your emotions. The easiest way for him to keep you with him is to threaten his own life, and the odds are, he won't kill himself. He may talk about it, he may threaten you with it, he may tell you exactly how he plans to do it. But at the end of the day, he's only doing this to avoid losing you. And deep down, even he knows he's manipulating you.This is a very tough situation for you to be in, I know, I've been there before too.But you have to be strong and stand your ground.Inform someone close to him, whether it's his parents, siblings, close friends etc. that you are breaking it off with him. And then tell them that you are concerned for his mental well being and health. It might be hard, but be blunt, tell them that he has threatened to kill himself if you leave. Odds are, if they confront him about it, he'll just deny it. And he'll deny it because he was never going to do it in the first place.Once you've told his family/friends, talk to him and break it off. Tell him straight up that it's over and it's time for you to go your separate ways. Keep it short as well, as the longer you draw the break out, the more he will try his emotional blackmail and try to make you feel bad.Try to keep no contact, or at least very little contact with him for at least a few weeks. Ideally, don't talk to him for 2-4 weeks so he can hopefully get his head back on straight.Just don't get suckered into emotional blackmail. I was stuck with a girl for almost two-years because she told me she would kill herself if I left. I stayed with her out of guilt and fear, and that is no way for a relationship to run. When I left her, she didn't kill herself, but I still told her parents nonetheless.It's the only thing you can do really.Best of luck
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (31 October 2011):
 First of all simply break up with him - tell him face to face ideally that you are sorry but you dont have the same feelings anymore and it is over. Be very clear that it is over and that is final.
Then call his parents, explain that you have broken up with him, explain what he has threatened in the past and ask them to keep an eye on him because you are worried he might do something silly.
He is using emotional blackmail to try and keep you with him, and in 99% of cases these are simply empty threats to make you feel bad, chances are he would never do anything to hurt himself he just knows you wont leave if he says those things. So dont fall for his lies this time - be strong and simply end the relationship, but speak to his parents just in case. If you explain to them that he has said these things in the past they can watch out for him and make sure he is ok.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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