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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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If it turns out I am pregnant, should I tell him? I know for certain I will have an abortion and I'm afraid he might want to keep it.
Q. So about a 3 weeks ago, I had a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. We had sex, and although I've been on birth control for about four years, we did not use a condom. I was supposed to get my period this week, but did not. He is t...
A. 8 February 2012: You do have to tell him, this baby, while in your body, is still 50% his so it is the right thing to do to tell him. It may be a bit of a pointless thing to do, because at the end of the day you have made your mind up - but out of courtesy you ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him how I feel or should we stay as FWB?
Q. I have a problem with this guy who i used to cam sex with, and he doesn't know that i still like him. Whenever i see him i always feel a certain feeling in my stomach. i don't know if it is butterflies or a stomach. should i tell him how i feel or ...
A. 8 February 2012: Yes you should tell him - you should never be in a FWB if you have feelings for the other person because the whole point of FWB is no strings attached sex, so if you do develop feelings then you defeat the point of a FWB. So tell him how you feel ... (read in full...)
I'm becoming obsessed by my BF's ex and cyber-stalking her. Should I tell him and how do I stop?
Q. Hello, a little advice would be nice. My bf and I have been together for a year and a half, and I've been having this obsession with his ex for a quite a while now. I can't explain why I get this urge to know more and more about her, look at pictu...
A. 8 February 2012: Dont tell him - that wont help anything!
You are totally normal in doing this, I think at some point in time all girls look on Facebook for their boyfriend's ex's, because at the end of the day you want to check if you are prettier and more suc... (read in full...)
My ex sometimes tries to talk to me, after I tell her NOT to.
Q. I got dumped by my ex, last year. She immediately offered to keep me as a friend. However, I didn't feel all that satistisfied, as she really meant a lot to me, at that time. Anyways, she very much lied about the reasoning of it. It made no sense...
A. 7 February 2012: Talking to someone you know in the street is not harassment, nor is her boyfriend telling you to leave her alone (was this face to face as well)?
If, however, her or her boyfriend start emailing/texting/phoning/writing letters/showing up at your ... (read in full...)
Why did he start flirting with me when he is married? Is there a possibility they are seperated but still living together for financial reasons?
Q. Dear Cupid, I started having a crush on one of these guys at my work. We dont really work together since we work for two different companies but the grocery store houses the company i work for so we're not exactly co workers. Anyways... I sta...
A. 7 February 2012: Why did he start flirting with you when he is still married? Because he is just one of those men I'm afraid - he is a cheater, a liar....you name it, he is simply one of those.
There are just some people on this planet that have no respect ... (read in full...)
How do I make myself look older? People tell me I look about 17!
Q. Hi everyone this is not a relationship question didn't know where else to ask I'm 25 but everyone tells me I look about 17 I'm almost 26 I'm going out tomorrow night on a date and I have nothing to prove my age do you women know any tips to make ...
A. 4 February 2012: Yes that is definitely too much - try a more natural approach with your eye make up. Lose the eyeshadow and eye liner, and leave it natural. Only use mascara.
Make sure you dont apply too much blusher, it should be subtle. And perhaps change y... (read in full...)
How do I make myself look older? People tell me I look about 17!
Q. Hi everyone this is not a relationship question didn't know where else to ask I'm 25 but everyone tells me I look about 17 I'm almost 26 I'm going out tomorrow night on a date and I have nothing to prove my age do you women know any tips to make ...
A. 3 February 2012: You say you wear 'eye make up and that' - what does that mean? Do you wear only eye make up? Or a full face of make up as well?
Because often wearing eye make up, and eye make up only makes you look younger. Young girls and teenagers experime... (read in full...)
Got a date but she's in control. How should I play this one?
Q. Iv got a 2nd date with this girl but she's in control of it. What i mean is that she works full-time and does some evenings and weekends. her job is obviously verry important to her. she is very busy and so has little time. she said we can go out in ...
A. 3 February 2012: Honestly forget all these games and so called 'rules'. If she has said she wants to go on a date with you then brilliant, dont worry about who organises what - she is interested because she agreed to go on a date with you.
You will only look daf... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend love me as much?
Q. Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 6 months now but im worried that he dosnt love me as much, We are in a long distance relationship as i live in one part of the country and he lives in another so we dont see each other all the time, i ...
A. 3 February 2012: This is just part and parcel of a LDR I'm afraid, and if you want it to work you have to get over your insecurities and stop over-analysing every text/word he says.
LDR's mean your contact is online/phone etc rather than face to face, so often it... (read in full...)
He's generally great, but not so romantic any more
Q. this might sound silly.but the fact that my boyfriend of two years who loves me and is great in many ways,does not call me sweet names anymore at all...whereas i call mother him so much :( its only the first 8 or 9 months he used to be more caring ...
A. 3 February 2012: Try taking your own advice - every man has his flaws, and your partner's flaw is that he is not very romantic. In fact not many men are!
You cannot try and change him, he is who he is - so you have to accept him, flaws and all.
This man clea... (read in full...)
How can I cope and continue living with him, broken hearted but apart?
Q. Hi all. I have recently broken up with my bf. We have a joint mortgage together. After much soul searching and advice from a mortgage advisor, we have both been advised to stay in the property together for as long as we can. This is because ...
A. 3 February 2012: Sell the house. End of story.
I have lived with an ex, we were only renting but we couldnt get out of the rental agreement for another 5 months so we were stuck until then, with neither of us being able to afford to rent somewhere else. And let ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's best friend getting married
Q. [Mod-Note:Names changed for privacy] Hey everyone! My long-distance boyfriend's best friend got engaged last night. For now it is a secret and Jeffery, my boyfriend, doesn't have all the details but we are both pretty mindblown over the whole thin...
A. 2 February 2012: No, it doesnt motivate them to get engaged I'm afraid. It doesnt do the opposite - he wont be put off getting engaged, but its not going to make him move any quicker either.
They are rushing their engagement, chances are they will be divorced... (read in full...)
How should I behave to my ex?
Q. Hello! i dated a guy for 3 years on and off. i loved him so much to the point where i was crazy over him and did everything he asked me to do. he broke up with me multiple times. and now we are not together anymore. he didnt contact me for 3...
A. 2 February 2012: Yes you should leave it alone, dont mention it to your boyfriend and stop replying to your ex. He is the past, it didnt work out - move on. He only wants you now he knows he cant have you, this is just a game. Cut your ex out of your life once and ... (read in full...)
Should I remain with my current boyfriend, or start a new relationship?
Q. Advice please? I've been with my current b/f for an extremely long time. He was my first back when I was in my teens. Well our relationship took a turn for the worst shortly after we started and I've been feeling bad about myself. Fights have been...
A. 2 February 2012: Regardless of any new man - the simple fact is your are not happy with your boyfriend and you dont want to be with him. He is your safety blanket, but he is only protecting you from being alone, which isnt as bad as you will think!
You have an ... (read in full...)
I need motivation, how to lose weight?
Q. What are good weight loss exercises for over weight people? I physically can't do regular push ups so I'm trying to find new things I can do that will still work. I'm currently on weight watchers, but I feel I need more motivation... Any help would ...
A. 2 February 2012: If you are very overweight and struggle to do resistance based exercise (i.e. weight, push ups etc) then you need to focus on cardio until you have lost enough weight to incorporate resistance into your work outs.
As AuntyEm said, walking ... (read in full...)
We both are in a relationship, but I like him, but I don't know if he likes me!
Q. I like this guy but he has a girlfriend, and I have a boy friend, but I think he likes me but sometimes leaving me confused.When I look at him I quickly catch a glance of him looking at me but then turns away. Then he gave my friend hes mobile ...
A. 1 February 2012: So you are willing to dump your boyfriend for this other guy? Why are you still with your boyfriend if you have stronger feelings for other men? This really doesnt make sense to me, even if you are not planning to cheat you clearly dont care much ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my ex's friend?
Q. My ex bf broke up with me nearly a year ago. I loved him, I was loyal and true. But he cheated on me, lied to me and dumped me. So hurt.. I've never loved anyone the way I loved him. Anyway, his best friend is really nice guy. His gf cheated...
A. 1 February 2012: No, dont go out with the friend. I understand you dont care about your ex, that is fine. But your crush is still friends with your ex, so clearly he still cares about that friendship and has a good relationship with your ex. Therefore if you came ... (read in full...)
Does this happen to anyone else but me?
Q. So whenever my boyfriend and I get really frisky and have the privacy and space to have sex, we do it and what not. But after constant changing of positions (missionary, to doggie, and other variations) and anything over 15-30min, I start to get dry ...
A. 1 February 2012: Well start by not changing positions so much, that definitely wont be helping. Stick with one position if possible, and if your boyfiend wants to change position only allow this once.
Use lube as well - that is a guaranteed way of remainin... (read in full...)
My past relationships are coloring the future!
Q. Hey guys! I need some advice, I'm having a hard time letting go, trusting people, and or finding myself to like anyone in a way that others like me. I have had quite a few relationships but not as much as I have with people I have "went out" with, ...
A. 31 January 2012: Basically you are jumping from one guy to another, taking your baggage from the last relationship into the next, and they are all WAY too close together. You are not giving yourself enough time in between relationships to adjust and get over the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he is still in love with his ex
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend 1 year in march we were talking last night and he mentioned his ex which he does quite often so I asked him if he was still in love with her and he said yes he is now I'm so confused but my question is will he be ...
A. 31 January 2012: We cannot answer that question - we do not live inside your boyfriend's head so we cannot know what he is thinking about during sex. Try asking him and see what he says.
But let me just say this - you really should not remain in this relation... (read in full...)
Too bad to stay. Too good to leave.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year. I moved in with him 2 weeks into our relationship. We have known each other since we were 13 through mutual friends but didn’t start our relationship until we were in our 20’s. The start of our rel...
A. 31 January 2012: You are fooling yourself that there is anything good in this relationship - the 'good' is only in your head, not in reality.
You want him to be something he is not, therefore you are in a relationship with a vision in your own head, you are igno... (read in full...)
My b/f got both me and his ex pregnant at the same time
Q. Hello I am eighteen years old and i am eight months pregnant with twins . Idk what to do but first I'll give you the background: My bf is 19 years old and his ex gf lets called her Chantel cheated on him numerous time , she got people to kidnap...
A. 30 January 2012: Break up. And dont ever go back.
You saw them kissing, regardless of whether the babies are his or not he is clearly cheating on you with her so dont allow yourself to be treated like this.
He is an awful person and you can do a lot better.... (read in full...)
Are all FWB relationships conducted, in this way?
Q. Hi everyone this question is for people who are in a fwb arrangement. how well do they treat you. I am in one. have been for 11 months now. he never comes round apart from the obvious when he is horny. he is not speaking to me at the moment because ...
A. 30 January 2012: Look, FWB is literally just about sex, the only difference between an FWB and a one night stand is that you are having sex with someone you know. If you want a FWB you dont expect to be treated nice, you are not in a relationship so basically you ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being unhappy with the engagement ring?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend of 4 years and I just recently got engaged. I'm really happy and excited about it all, because I had been pushing the whole get married thing for so long. We shopped around for rings and at first I didn't care which one he'd...
A. 27 January 2012: Well what did he say when you told him how you felt?
And as for your own money, career etc - that is all well and good, but how much money does your partner have? Can he afford to spend as much as you would spend on yourself? Perhaps this was all ... (read in full...)
How can I prove my feelings are real?
Q. Please help me, I desperately need help and I don't know what to do anymore. I have met the most amazing girl ever. She is kind, thoughtful, sweet, caring, faithful, intelligent, fun..everything that a man could want. We never even argue. What...
A. 26 January 2012: Ok to address your questions one by one:
1. Why cant younger men be with older women? 99% of the time it is because of the marriage/kids issue. As your girlfriend has said, she needs to have children before the age of 35 otherwise it gets very diff... (read in full...)
Our living situation is getting to my wife. I endure her regular tantrums. Do I change our whole lifestyle and income due to her whim?
Q. I am 41 and I have been married to my wife for 19 years. We have no children. We bought this house in a large suburb (120K people) 10 years ago. It's near the mountains and we get a lot of wildlife. There are lots of trees, too, and you'd never know...
A. 26 January 2012: It doesnt sound normal, no. She does sound depressed, so you need to try and get her to see a doctor. Telling her to see a psychologist isnt going to help, she needs a doctor first. Dont make it sound like she is crazy, simply explain that you are ... (read in full...)
I am tempted to have sex with my ex. He is flirting with me and I really would like to respond! Please advice?
Q. Hey guys, I'm getting tempted by my ex and don't want to cheat on my bf, what should I do? My ex sends me racy FB and text messages, and has asked for/sent me pictures of himself in various stages of undress, telling me what he would do to me if we ...
A. 24 January 2012: You know deep down this is wrong, so why bother asking the question?
At the end of the day your ex is married so if he is sending racy messages to you behind his wife's back he is already cheating, so clearly he is just a cheat and a liar who is h... (read in full...)
Not sure that what I do feel for him is love anymore and I feel suffocated in this relationship. Help!
Q. Hi, I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. When I met him I was 15 and he was 19. He was amazing, everything I could ever wish for and more, he treated me like a real princess, he gave everything to me. The only downside was tha...
A. 23 January 2012: A lot of teenagers go through this same problem (me included) when they have been in a long term relationship from a young age - what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
It is the classic 'what if' scenario and there is no right answer unfortun... (read in full...)
Will I have to wait around all my life?
Q. Hey everyone, I am 20 and I have been seeing this man (35) for two years. I know I care for him and though I realize that something like marriage cannot happen right now (I want to finish school and be settled in my career first) I wanted to at ...
A. 23 January 2012: I think you need to talk to him, but be prepared to walk away.
You need to explain to him how you feel about marriage, and that you dont want to get married any time soon but you do want it in the future. See what he has to say, see if he says ... (read in full...)
I haven't kissed a guy in over a year and a half!!
Q. Hi! So basically it has just occurred to me that I haven't kissed a guy in over a year and a half. Being 20 years old I feel I should have had a bit of luck in love by now... but I've had nothing, not even a proper date. I think this is all partly ...
A. 23 January 2012: Being shy isnt a problem, shy can be quite cute. I have always struggled to be myself unless I'm with someone I know well, it takes me time to feel totally comfortable around someone new.
However I have NEVER had a problem with men, and this is ... (read in full...)
He treats me well but my parents don't think he's wealthy enough. Should I stay?
Q. Hiya :) Hope you can help me. I will try and keep things brief! I am 31 and have had 3 relationships, only to which they have used me and treated me badly. My parents however loved one as they thought he was financially stable for me and co...
A. 18 January 2012: I think these are 2 seperate issues here.
1. Your parents and him not being able to 'keep' you.
Your parents sound incredibly old fashioned - men dont 'keep' women anymore, you are not his pet nor his responsiblity. You have your own job ther... (read in full...)
What is my boyfriend's friend up to, when he does these things?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend 7 months now. Im 17, he's 18. We attend different schools but in the same district. He's fairly popular, lots of friends, parties and what not. And i tend to hang out with people from his school more than mine. But usually ...
A. 18 January 2012: It sounds like he does have a crush on you as well.
You need to be very careful here - he is clearly attracted to you, and you are developing feelings for him so technically you are already cheating on your boyfriend. This is emotional cheating... (read in full...)
Is it considered cheating if I went out one to one with a guy even though I'm attached?
Q. Hi everyone I would like to ask if it's considered cheating if I went out one to one with a guy even though I'm attached. For the record, the guy knows I'm attached and my bf also knew that I was going out with that guy and he was totally fine with ...
A. 18 January 2012: No thats not cheating - as long as your friend is aware your in a relationship, your boyfriend is ok with it and you dont have ANY feelings for him that are more than friendship then it is perfectly fine.
Men and women are allowed to be friends ... (read in full...)
Should I try online dating when I still have feelings for my ex?
Q. I came out of a relationship about 2 months ago. I still have feelings for my ex but do want to move on. A lot of my friends have suggested internet dating. It sounds alright and i was maybe thinking of trying it but i do still have some feelings ...
A. 13 January 2012: Quite simply - NO!!
It is completely unfair to date anyone new when you still have feelings for someone else, because you will never be able to reciprocate their feelings when it is your ex that you are still hung up on.
2 months is not lo... (read in full...)
Does my ex still have feelings for me? I don't wanna end up as FWB.
Q. My ex and I recently began talking again after 2 months of no contact. We topped talking bc he got a new girlfriend. He texted my sister asking if I till hated him. And he even told her that he misses me and wants to be friends. My sister replied ...
A. 13 January 2012: It sounds like he is just lonely and wants sex, so I think chances are he just wants a FWB. You will be a stop gap between the next girlfriend (or plaything as you put it) - you will fill his time nicely and provide sex but then there is no ... (read in full...)
I can't go to his house parties and he doesn't want to hang out with me and my friends because of the age difference, and his job!
Q. On my senior year i met this teacher at school. He wasn't my teacher, never was. He was just my UIL coach. When i first saw him i didn't know he was a teacher so i just started crushing on him until i found out he was a teacher, bummer right? ...
A. 10 January 2012: I dont really see the problem here - you never dated while you were at school and as far as I am aware there is no law to say teachers cant date former students? Or is there a law on that in your state?
If it is perfectly legal to date former s... (read in full...)
I'm pretty sure he just wants sex. How do I move on?
Q. Before i write my problem please try not to judge me too harshly. He and i had a casual relationship going for a while and i lost my virginity to him. I was very naive and had never experienced such strong feelings for a guy before so i gues...
A. 10 January 2012: There is no secret to moving on or getting over someone. It simply takes a lot of time and feeling like crap before you will feel ok again.
All you can do is go cold turkey from him to give you that space you need to move on. This means deleting... (read in full...)
I'm pretty sure he just wants sex. How do I move on?
Q. Before i write my problem please try not to judge me too harshly. He and i had a casual relationship going for a while and i lost my virginity to him. I was very naive and had never experienced such strong feelings for a guy before so i gues...
A. 10 January 2012: There is no secret to moving on or getting over someone. It simply takes a lot of time and feeling like crap before you will feel ok again.
All you can do is go cold turkey from him to give you that space you need to move on. This means deleting... (read in full...)
He claims he is just "good friends" with this younger woman? Am I right to end the relationhip and get on with my life?
Q. About 3 year ago, my boyfriend of 5 years became friends with a woman 20 years younger than him. They work for the same apartment management company and live in the same apartment building. He was seen at an outdoor event with his arms around her ...
A. 10 January 2012: Regardless of this other woman - if there is no romance and you are not happy then you would be right to end the relationship for those reasons alone, never mind their inappropriate behaviour.
I think you should have one last talk to him and lay ... (read in full...)
My older girlfriend wants to settle down but I don't feel that attracted to her anymore, what should I do?
Q. I have been dating this girl for almost a year and a half, she is 5 years older than me and maybe this September we will be going our own ways. She may be in other cities pursuing school. I have to option of completing my degree where she would ...
A. 10 January 2012: You need to tell her ASAP. Dont wait any longer.
There is no way to say this without hurting her, discussions like this will always be painful. But it will hurt her more to waste her time with someone who doesnt want the same thing as her.
... (read in full...)
She gave her number to another man while we were out on a date! Now she hasn't spoken to me since, has she traded me in for him?
Q. Ok so iv just split with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years,as we no longer got on. I can't believe my luck when i meet a stunning girl who show's an interest in me straight away. We've seen each other now a few time,though its been at her house. L...
A. 10 January 2012: This is very unusual - I'm sure the drink didnt help but even still, to give her number to another guy and then not speak to you since does indicate that she is no longer interested in you and is more interested in this other man.
I suggest ... (read in full...)
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