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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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She gave her number to another man while we were out on a date! Now she hasn't spoken to me since, has she traded me in for him?
Q. Ok so iv just split with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years,as we no longer got on. I can't believe my luck when i meet a stunning girl who show's an interest in me straight away. We've seen each other now a few time,though its been at her house. L...
A. 10 January 2012: This is very unusual - I'm sure the drink didnt help but even still, to give her number to another guy and then not speak to you since does indicate that she is no longer interested in you and is more interested in this other man.
I suggest ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks every night, how can I tell him to stop when I have been joining in for the last year?
Q. I didn't know my boyfriend drank a few glasses of wine every day until we moved in together. He started getting me a glass when I come home from work and gradually we got into the habit of at least 3 or 4 glasses per day but more for him. I feel as...
A. 10 January 2012: I think you just need to tell him more from your point of view rather than making it seem like you are forcing him to stop drinking.
Tell him you want to cut down the amount you drink because you feel it is unhealthy and you want to get fit rath... (read in full...)
Exes and Facebook etiquette!
Q. When should I return to facebook? My ex who has been deleted once then re-added (because I thought we were errrr ...friends??) has met someone else, and is in a relationship...facebook has noted this...lol!! I am kinda happy for him... but he was a ...
A. 9 January 2012: Well surely if you are off Facebook you dont have an account, you will have to open a new one and start the process of adding people all over again? So that way you wont have to delete your ex, you simply just dont add him this time you are setting ... (read in full...)
Should I invite my crush to my friend's party? He has a GF!
Q. Well, it's more like a small gathering at my apartment but I'm not so sure if I should invite my crush over. We work together; however, we never get to hang outside of work. I just wanna get to know him better. However, HE DOES HAVE A GF....So...
A. 9 January 2012: Dont invite him - because you have alterior motives and that is not right. You want to get to know him better because you like him and want to be with him, but he has a girlfriend so this is wrong.
If he was single - then it would be fine to ... (read in full...)
7 months of dating, boyfriend has no job, no income, doesn't seem to care
Q. Hello, i really would like some advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months and the whole time he has had no income and hasn’t been studying or attempting anything really. I have two jobs, looking for another, live away from home and am a ...
A. 9 January 2012: This isnt just about money - this is about ambition, motivation...all of which have an impact on his personality and your compatiblity.
To put it simply - he cannot bum around forever and take money off you for the rest of his life, that isnt a r... (read in full...)
Could my friend's mom be interested in me?
Q. For a while now, iv been wanting to have sex with my girl friends mom (not my partner but a really close friend.) Me and the girl had sex before but now were just friends which is really weird because I never thought it could happen. But everytime ...
A. 9 January 2012: Yes you are thinking WAY too much, she is simply being friendly. She will probably know that something happened between you and her daughter (girls tell their mom's a lot about their personal lives) so she will want to be nice to her daughter's love ... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to have sex but it brings back feelings! Should I do this?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently got back in connect with my ex and we've been meeting up and things are just like they used to be when we were together. He calls us "friends" yet he has asked me to take his virginity. But what he doesn't realise ...
A. 6 January 2012: Even if it is him that is the virgin - still not a good idea. He is still using you, he obviously just wants to lose his virginity ASAP and you are the best available option.
You need to make things clear with your ex that you love him and want... (read in full...)
Guy problems. I like one particular guy. But am I only ever going to be a Friend with Benefits to guys I know?
Q. I am having some serious guy problems. We are like friends with benefits once in a while and we go well with each other. Any way we talk all the time and well I have giving him hints that I like him. He does send some hints every now and again. B...
A. 6 January 2012: There is nothing wrong with you - it is just that you are giving sex away too easily and men dont take women seriously who have FWB's all the time.
What you need to do is NEVER have sex with any guy unless they want to be in a comitted relation... (read in full...)
What do I need to be told? What lessons do I need to learn? I have a huge Teacher crush.
Q. Hi I'm 14 years old...ever since this school year started i met my social studies teacher, and I'm heavily in love with him. I totally understand this is wrong and those of you who think so i won't listen to you so don't bother. Anyway he ...
A. 6 January 2012: I know you want us to tell you how to seduce your teacher, but unfortunately we are unable to give advice on this site that would incude an illegal act. So dont come asking for advice on how to break the law - no-one is allowed to give out that kind ... (read in full...)
My ex wants us to have sex but it brings back feelings! Should I do this?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently got back in connect with my ex and we've been meeting up and things are just like they used to be when we were together. He calls us "friends" yet he has asked me to take his virginity. But what he doesn't realise ...
A. 6 January 2012: Definitely dont lose your virginity to him - I get the feeling he is just wanting to use you for sex. He has been deliberately saying you are 'friends' to make sure you dont get the wrong impression, if he wanted you back he would have been trying ... (read in full...)
I cheated and not sure if she can/will take me back! Adivce?
Q. I cheated twice with hookers she found it on my laptop i admitted it she stayed with me but now 3 months later she says its over. I love her more than anything and cant believe wat a fool i have been she is beautiful and really loved me i know i ...
A. 5 January 2012: Leave her alone and move on. She has made up her mind that she doesnt want to be with you anymore, you have hurt her beyond repair so you need to let her go. She is right - if you do really love her like you claim then you will leave her alone to ... (read in full...)
Partying causing my relationship going down hill
Q. Okay so heres the thing, ive been dating this girl for a while and im certain that i love her but i have some problems (problems which she knew about prior to the relationship starting because i dated her sister before her) and the problems are that ...
A. 4 January 2012: I think you need to talk to your friends, tell them that you are quitting drinking and smoking and you want to start doing other activities rather than partying all the time. You will soon find out who your true friends are - if they support you and ... (read in full...)
I want to become a surgeon, will this be possible with my qualifications?
Q. Hi all! Ok so my Question isn't really about relationship/ life related but I quite like the advice given on here anyway. So I'm 23 years old and just recently moved back home to the UK after living abroad for 7 years. After much debating an...
A. 4 January 2012: You are never too old to go back to school or change your life for the better - you are only 23 after all, you are not at all old yet so as long as you are prepared for the legnth of time it takes studying medicine (5 years) and add on the time for ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend shows a lack of interest, yet wants to get married?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. In the beginning, things were great and we were really into each other. We would have sex often, and things couldn't have been better. Lately, I don't feel like she's into me anymore....
A. 4 January 2012: This is very clear cut to me and I'm afraid you are not going to like what I'm going to say next. She doesnt love you, she is no longer attracted to you and she doesnt see you as much more than a friend.
You are her 'security blanket', a safe and... (read in full...)
I just want our spark back!
Q. Ladies, do you ever want to try to make your husband/b.f feel loved? Or appreciated? If he were to tell you that he didn't feel it, and let's say you have been together for a couple of years, would you you try harder to please him? What about ...
A. 3 January 2012: If you have spoken to her about it and she still doesnt make any effort then chances are no, you will never get the spark back and she will never change.
If my partner ever said to me that he doesnt feel loved and is also missing some exciteme... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly being nice?
Q. So this guy im seein for six months now, and him and I have small fights once and a while, but this time I did not talk to him for over 2 weeks, and he was the one for the first time to cave and call me. So we had a viste and talked about everything ...
A. 3 January 2012: Well I guess those 2 weeks where you didnt speak to him scared him, he must have thought he was going to lose you so he is now being nice in order to ensure he makes you happy and doesnt lose you.
Just be happy he has picked his ideas up and is t... (read in full...)
My ex and I have a FWB relationship now, but during intimate moment he said he wanted more, then said he was kidding. How do I go from here?
Q. Me and my ex, John, have had an on-again, off-again relationship for the past two years. We met through mutual friends and just talked and were friends for about 9 months and then decided to give love a try. We broke up after a couple months because ...
A. 3 January 2012: Gosh these FWB questions are really starting to frustrate me! All women do the same thing - start an FWB to be 'close' to him because they cant have him as boyfriend, and they think by being FWB they will get to be with him in the end, when in fact ... (read in full...)
Could he be embarrassed by his family, or me?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for around 5 months now but i still haven't met any of his family. I am also under the impression he doesn't want me too as whenever his mum suggests coming to see him while he's in my company he gets out of it ...
A. 3 January 2012: Honestly I have no idea - you are going to have to ask him.
I dont think he is embarassed of you, as you said correctly - if he was embarassed then he wouldnt have let you meet his friends.
So this one will remain a mystery until you ask hi... (read in full...)
LDR Boyfriend hasn't been replying to me- No idea why.
Q. Hello all, I may be reading into this too much, but I thought I would look for insight from other people. I am in a LDR (In different countries)with a guy things have been great, in fact more than great. We talk every single day for hours on end...
A. 22 December 2011: Yes you should be alarmed - if he has gone from speaking to you every day to nothing in a week, then you are right to be worried.
But seen as you are in different countries there is not a lot you can do, you just have to wait and see. If you stil... (read in full...)
My b/f was messing around with his ex for much longer than what he led me to believe. Should I let it go?
Q. I met my boyfriend in March 2011 and at the time he said he had broken up with his ex in April 2010. We have dated ever since (about 9 months). This ex did cause some problems with us because he was letting her live in his parents' rental because ...
A. 22 December 2011: iloveperrieedwards is right - you need to confront him. Yes the snooping was wrong, but if the Facebook messages are right then he was seeing both you and his ex at the same time! Regardless of how long ago it was, cheating is always important and ... (read in full...)
I knew my Gf was moving before we started dating. What do I do now? Do I let her go live her life and forget about her?
Q. Hello! I have been dating a girl since early September who i've known for a year and a bit. I am 18 just finished my first semester of Engineering, she is almost 17, finishing up highschool. We get along really well, I like her a lot. We've do...
A. 22 December 2011: I think you should probably just stay in touch as friends and see how things go. That is more than double the cost of your current education, plus you would be living with her which would be rushing the relationship massively. It is too soon for 2 ... (read in full...)
How do I help my FWB forget about his ex and make him see that I am not like her and will not hurt him?
Q. Hi everyone a bit of a complicated situation here I have been in a fwb for nine months now I have told him how I feel about him (I would like to be with him properly) he says he likes me to he was very badly hurt by his ex with who he was with for ...
A. 22 December 2011: Look, if you get into a FWB you have to understand what FWB means. It means 'friends with benefits' - i.e. you are JUST FRIENDS who have sex because it is easier than going out and having one night stands. No feelings are involved in FWB's AT ALL. ... (read in full...)
It's not him, It's me. Can one overcome major trust issues? Would explaining more to him help? Or just breakup?
Q. I am writing here to vent out my feelings and the trouble I'm having in my relationship. I've always been a clingy girlfriend. I do like to spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and I would get disappointed if he would not do the same. The onl...
A. 22 December 2011: First of all well done for actually getting some help, it sounds like you are making fantastic progress so well done you. So many people wouldnt be brave enough to actually get help so you have made some great big steps already.
However with reg... (read in full...)
Why ignore my messages after a heart-to-heart with me?
Q. why would she does this? to cut a extremley long story short.... i added a girl my younger bro knows at school on facebook (ther both 14) got talking, realy liked her she realy likes me (i dont fancy her (yet) i dunno how she feals about me)having a ...
A. 22 December 2011: This is the problem with trying to chase a 14 year old - they are so immature, their hormones are all over the place, they are up and down emotionally and they change their minds every 5 minutes.
It sounds like she needed someone to talk to at th... (read in full...)
Birthday call from my ex (part 2). Is his reason more obvious?
Q. Basically, me and my ex remained friends after we broke up. I wasn't so inclined with the idea so much and right now, I completely regret it. I don't understand half of the things he says or whether if he actually means it. Last night we were ta...
A. 22 December 2011: Thanks for the extra information.
Basically he is still in love with you, he clearly didnt want the relationship to end and he is still trying to hold on. His new girlfriend (if she really exists - which I dont think she does, after all she woul... (read in full...)
Is sex nessassary for a happy life?
Q. How important is sex in life? Apart from the whole producing life bit. Is sex necessary for a happy life. Sex causes a lot of problems in peoples lives from unwanted children to emotional and physical complications. If sex was not a factor in life ...
A. 21 December 2011: Sex is 100% to a happy relationship - whether it is 100% necessary to a happy 'life' is debateable. I'm sure you can argue that sex is a distraction and you should use your energy for more positive things, however if you used that same argument the ... (read in full...)
Fell in love with a guy after a week and now trying to have a LDR in another language! Help!
Q. So. Problem. I'm absolutely in love with a wonderful young man who I met during the summer over the course of a week. After that week, of course, we each returned to our respective homes, and are now literally thousands of miles apart. The chanc...
A. 21 December 2011: 1. You cant be in love with someone after a week. You hardly know the boy, let alone love him.
2. There is no way for you to see him again for the foreseeable future
3. You dont speak the same language
4. You cannot have a relationship via ... (read in full...)
Birthday call from my ex (part 2). Is his reason more obvious?
Q. Basically, me and my ex remained friends after we broke up. I wasn't so inclined with the idea so much and right now, I completely regret it. I don't understand half of the things he says or whether if he actually means it. Last night we were ta...
A. 21 December 2011: Why did you break up? Who broke up with who? Or was it a joint decision? Who was the one who said they wanted to remain friends? How quickly did he get with his girlfriend after you got together? Does she know you are friends and speak frequently? ... (read in full...)
I would like some information on 'the Pill' from women who use it
Q. I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend, of whom we are totally faithful of each other. I have had the coil for a long time, but it isn't for me because I don't trust it without condoms, whereas we don't want to use condoms any-more...
A. 21 December 2011: I have been on the pill since the age of 16 (I'm now 24) and I honestly cannot say anything bad about it. I have never had any problems, and the weight gain thing is a myth - at the end of the day you put the food in your mouth, the pill isnt force ... (read in full...)
Are we not suited for each other? Should I break up with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years is annoying me. Iv been very supportive of his college and work. I asked him to do afew things around christmas now exams are over and he cant as hes to work. In the last few weeks his behaviour has been particularly annoying ...
A. 21 December 2011: If you dont like his personality then it is pretty safe to say you are not well suited. And it does sound a bit like he is trying to wind you up by doing the things you have told him you dont like, maybe with the view to get you to break up with ... (read in full...)
My Gf has asked me for £50, I said No, was I wrong?
Q. Hi all, been with my gf for 3 years she has never worked (she is 19) and neither has her mum I have worked since I left school. I spend quite alot on her having to buy food lending her bus money etc etc sometimes it annoys me sometimes it doesn't. ...
A. 20 December 2011: No you are 100% right not to give her this money. Modelling agencies who are genuine dont charge for images (google this, you will see it is a common scam that photographers use on immature naieve girls) therefore you definitely wouldnt get that ... (read in full...)
My birthday call from my ex. What's his reason?
Q. Right, well... yeah it's my birthday today. Hmmm won't mention my age coz I feel so old... :/ Anyway, about quarter to midnight my ex just called me. Just so everyone knows, me and my ex are good friends and we try to stay in contact even aft...
A. 20 December 2011: Honestly none of us can have any idea - it might be that he just wants to be friendly and make sure you know he still cares, he might want you back, he might feel guilty for breaking up with you and wants to make amends....honestly there could be ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal relationship for a teacher and a former student, or could there possibly be something more at play?
Q. I have a small crush on this teacher I had back in high school. It's not too big of an issue-- I'm two years into college and in a long-term relationship and he's been married since I've known him. I'm certainly not expecting anything to come of it. ...
A. 20 December 2011: Sorry but who cares?! As you said yourself, he is married and you are in a relationship. Therefore regardless of how he feels, nothing can come of it. So why is it important to know if he likes you? Even if I said 'yes he likes you' - nothing can ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my parents will throw my 24 year old boyfriend in jail!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now despite some pretty tough odds. He is 24 and i am 17. We kept it a secret for a long time but eventually my parent found out and were furious. They wouldnt even take the time to get to know him ...
A. 20 December 2011: Sorry I dont understand your follow up - if the legal age of consent is 16 (i.e. when you are 16 in your state in America you can have sex) then your parents cant do anything about it! They dont have to 'give' consent, the legal age of consent if ... (read in full...)
Is my weight appropriate?
Q. What is the average weight for a small sixteen year old girl who is 5 ft 2? Im 6 stone 8 pounds, i'm probobly the thinnest out of all my friends except from one who is not much more thinner than me, alot of people say im realy thin, but i dont think ...
A. 20 December 2011: You are underweight, at unless you are under 5ft you shouldnt be under 7 stone to be honest.
But saying that, you are still young and chances are your body is still developing and growing so there is nothing to be worried about for now. As long ... (read in full...)
My ex and I had such a nice talk today. Do I have a shot of getting him back?
Q. i need some serious advice!!! after a while not talking to my ex, i decided to show him that i still loved him and wanted him back. he talked to me on the phone (we live in different cities) like a friend, but whenever i tried to say something a...
A. 20 December 2011: No there is no chance of getting back together. He has even told you it is best for you not to try to get back - how more clear can he be?!
Let it go and move on, there is nothing left here so give yourself some space from him and allow yourself... (read in full...)
Depression+Weight Gain=MORE DEPRESSION
Q. about 5 months ago when i was told i wasnt aloud to talk to my boyfriend anymore i got very depressed and gained some weight. i didnt think it was that much at 1st but now im realizing, since its winter, that some of my pants and coats are really ...
A. 20 December 2011: Well what do you weigh and how tall are you? How much have you gained? What dress size are you? What are you currently eating? Do you do any exercise? What are your main weaknesses when it comes to food? Where have you been going wrong with your ... (read in full...)
If this man likes me why won't he pursue me?
Q. If this man likes me, why won't he persue me ?. I am 27, and he is 60. Now, i know that is a huge age gap, but he seems like a really nice man, and i do like him. He has said that he would go after me if he was my age, and ke kept asking if this guy ...
A. 20 December 2011: Erm.....because he is old enough to be your grandfather?! He is being sensible here, he cannot give you a future so he wont bother wasting your time by persuing you.
Lets look at this sensibly - do you want kids? Marriage? To have a long and happ... (read in full...)
Is this the way that guys joke around?
Q. Hi My bf of two years often talks about how cute his coworkers are and how could he like to spend time with them. Whenver i call, he says if he knows that i am gonna call then he would hv switched off his mobile. If i ask why he is doing this, h...
A. 20 December 2011: No, this is not the way guys joke around. Maybe saying someone is hot in passing, that is quite common amongst men and women. But when you are in a relationship, to say you want to spend time with someone you find attractive? That is a big NO NO!! ... (read in full...)
How do I spot a player? I think I may be dating one. Please Help.
Q. Question for the players and former players out there: Why did you do it? And would you tell a girl that you wanted something serious to continue to string her along? And what about when you were caught? Did you fess up and walk away ? Or deny ...
A. 20 December 2011: Its hard to say - all players have their own ways so there are no 'rules' as such to help you spot one. What makes you think your guy is a player? Without that information it is hard to help you.
But to try and generalise, well a 'player' by defin... (read in full...)
How do I spot a player? I think I may be dating one. Please Help.
Q. Question for the players and former players out there: Why did you do it? And would you tell a girl that you wanted something serious to continue to string her along? And what about when you were caught? Did you fess up and walk away ? Or deny ...
A. 20 December 2011: Its hard to say - all players have their own ways so there are no 'rules' as such to help you spot one. What makes you think your guy is a player? Without that information it is hard to help you.
But to try and generalise, well a 'player' by defin... (read in full...)
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