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female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm just wondering had anyone regretting having sex too young, or not waiting till marriage as ive been in a steady relationship now for over a year and a half but havent had sex... me and my boyfriend are happy about this but im wondering about others experiences incase we seriously consider it ... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Nope dont regret it. Regret having it with my current boyfriend though
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male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 good advice from anonymous ( DONT DO IT! ) don't give yourself any regrets on down the road to look back on, somethings in life cant be undone. think twice before you make a decision , and most of all don't be pushed into giving your virginity to a guy. you may be with your boyfriend on down the road and you may not, life can change for either or both of you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): Dont do it!
I wanted to save my virginity for marriage. Been with a guy for 4 years, thought "where practically married now, we might as well do it"
Then he broke up with me.
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male
reader, alex74 +, writes (2 November 2011):
 I don't necessarily regret not having waited until marriage before having sex. My wife had a couple of lovers before me. Had I been her first, I definitely would have regretted it. All that aside, I do regret who I lost my virginity to. The girl I lost it to lied to me and told me there had been 3 guys before me. Difficult to feel "special" when you are number 4. Later on I find out she had been with DOZENS of guys. So I'd suggest that you really get to know the person before you give up something so special.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): I have no problem with sex before marriage, I'm 18 and only recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 11 months. We were together for about three months before we were officially a couple though so I've known him for a while and we have the strongest relationship. He was also a virgin and we always knew it was something we would do, we've known from the moment we got together that we were going to be together a very long time. At the earlier stages of our relationship, it was something we just talked about that would happen in the future, we thought it would happen earlier than it did, but we weren't in a rush, it would just happen when it was meant to, and that's the way it happened, one night, it just happened. And I have no regrets, I love him, and he loves me too, I'm glad I waited til I met the right person.If you have any doubts about it then don't, don't do it until you feel completely ready and comfortable with the idea of what you're doing. And if you do decide to do it, make sure you use protection. You definitely do not want to regret losing your virginity upon bringing a child in the world from it. :)
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I have no regrets about having sex before marriage. I had actually NO intetions of ever getting married, I have never treated sex as something casual. EVER.
My first was at almost 19 with a guy I truly loved and we were together for 4 1/2 years. I'm glad I took the time to get to know him first though, we dated for close to 8 months before having sex. He will always be my first love. Good memories.
I didn't get married til I was 28. I sincerly doubt I could/would have waited that long.
You have to follow your heart. If you are sure, there is nothing to regret. Even if.. the two of you don't end up in matching rocking chairs some 60 years in the future. My advice, just make sex a casual thing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): i regeret it. i wish that i had saved myself for my husband.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): I regret it, unfortunately. I lost it to my ex but i was not ready to give it to him then. He just kept on asking me when we will do it, kept inviting me to his house. After it happened, i felt like a total crap. But i got used to it and eventually enjoyed sex with him. Then after a year we broke up coz I caught him cheating.I feel....that if I didn't listen to him, that my feelings for him remained shallow and it should have not made me love him like that. The sex actually made me fall for him, it was an extraordinary bond that we had which I have not experienced with anyone at that time. The break-up was really depressing for me. Now, everytime i remember that first time, I hate him.In my opinion, it's fine if you don't wait for marriage but it is also good if you wait especially at your age. Maybe you should wait until you are in your 20's? Evryone here is right, the moment you start doing it, the greater is the risk for you to have unwanted pregnancy or STIs.So far, the persons I know who waited for marriage to have sex has the happiest most exciting story and the most rewarding married life. That's as far as I know where I am from. I mean, they get more respect from their spouses and they are like prized jewels to their husbands. Again, we cannot apply this to everyone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): i didn't have sex untill i was 20 years old and i don't regret waiting till then at all. I wasn't emotionally ready for sex before then, sure i had had boyfriends and experienced oral sex,etc but had never gone the whole way. I personally couldn't wait untill marriage as i think you need to experience a few different relationships before you settle for the one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): (i asked the question) and to the last poster there im going to remember that question "If I give my virginity to him, and he leaves me the next day, will I really regret it?" and thanks to everyone im just wondering about peoples experiences about the whole thing just cause i hear so many different opinions on it, thanks for everyones views :)
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I had a lot of friends who lost their virginities earlier on around age 15 or 16. One of my friends lost her virginity to a guy who had a long-term girlfriend. He then never spoke to her again. Another girl I knew lost her virginity to her ex who abused her. Needless to say they're not together anymore.
I lost my virginity to my now-husband (we weren't married at the time). I was twenty at the time, and he was twenty-two. I lost it to him only three weeks after we began dating, but we had been friends for about five months. He was the first guy that I had true feelings of love for, believe it or not. I don't regret my decision for a second, even though we had only been together for a few short weeks.
It honestly doesn't matter how long you wait, it only matters if you're sure that you won't regret the decisions you make. Keep in mind that the earlier you have sex and keep having sex, the greater your chances are of getting pregnant or contracting STDs.
Just ask yourself, "If I give my virginity to him, and he leaves me the next day, will I really regret it?" It's a question that my mom asked me when I told her I was thinking about losing it, and I honestly didn't think I'd regret it. Whether or not we stayed together, I wanted my first time to be with someone who truly cared about me and who I cared about. I was just lucky enough to have him become my husband two-and-a-half years later =)
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reader, BeckieYMA6 +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I was with somebody for over a year and i had sex with him. I thought that it was all magical and amazing, and that we would never split up, i was so sure.
Unfortunately for me, we did split up, and now i absolutely hate him.
I think it's less about waiting for you, and just doing it when you are ready. If you wait until after marriage it will most likely be years! I'm not saying to actually do it before marriage if you don't believe in it. but what makes you think that that is going to make it any better. talk about all the options of what would happen if it came to it. Have contraception on the side and just go with the flow. when you are ready you will know:) Just make sure that it's not an urge and that you are definitely ready :)It is actually so much better when you don't plan it, it sort of ruins the whole situation, if you ask me.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 If you have to ask then I think you possibly will regret it. If you feel like it's normal and right for you to have sex, then you wont regret it. I don't regret it.
But, you are young, and so there are many more years you can decide whether you want to wait or not, as you aren't getting married next year, so you have plenty of time to consider if you want to have sex before marriage or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2011): yes i do , i wish it would have been with my wife. i look back with regret. i also look back with regret,and hurt that my wife slept with several men when she was 17, and 18 . yes it hurts bad , and regrets looking at both of us.
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reader, adamantine  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I just lost my virginity a few months ago to my boyfriend of almost a year. I'm 20 years old. He is my first love, and hoepfully my last.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I was older than many people when I lost my virginity. I was 18 and had graduated from high school. I'm very glad I waited until then because my 1st experience was with my 1st love and we learned everything together. We were old enough to truly understand about sex. It was and still is a very sweet memory for me. I am happy I didn't wait till marriage though because as KC points out, sex is very important in a relationship and to marry someone with whom you are not compatible can be a death sentence to the marriage! At 16, I think you are wise not to have sex yet, just going along as you are. You will know if/when the time is right, but there is certainly no need to hurry things along at your age.
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female
reader, babygirllovej  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I regret losing my virginity to my ex who turned out to be an abuser however I don't regret losing it. I just regret who I gave it to.
I agree very much with what k_c100 said.
You would only feel regret if you didn't love the person or if you weren't 100% ready. It also depends on how much value you put on waiting til you are married.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2011):
 Never felt bad about losing my virginity before marriage.
There are only a few times in my life I've regretted things and none of them are sexual.
My daughter lost her virginity to her first boyfriend when she was 15 and she loved this boy... and he loved her... and then she met her second real boyfriend and she had some regrets but as the relationship with this boy gets shaky she cares less and less. I doubt it will have as much impact in her next relationship...
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 November 2011):
 Well I personally am very GLAD I lost my virginity and didnt wait until marriage, that would have been a huge mistake!
Sex is such an important part of a relationship, and there are people who simply are not sexually compatible together, if I had waited until I had made the ultimate committment of marriage and then found out the sex was awful....that would be horrendous.
I am a very sexual person, sex is important to me and if I had a bad sex life in a relationship I would be very unhappy. I cant imagine getting married (which is very important to me) without knowing we are sexually compatible, that is too much of a risk for me to take. Marriage in my eyes is forever, there is no option of divorce, once you have made those vows you have to honour them. But I couldnt make those vows if I didnt know if that person standing in front of me was 100% right for me, and I can never say a person is 100% perfect for me unless we have had sex and I know that our sex life is good.
Therefore I am very pleased I lost my virginity before marriage - I have not stayed with that boyfriend, but he was my first love and we did everything right in terms of being together for ages before we had sex, we were in love, safe sex....etc. So I have no regrets at all, it was a wonderful experience and I'm glad it was with him. I'm also glad that I still chose to sleep with other boyfriends since him without knowing if we were getting married or not, there have been a few guys who were simply awful in bed and our sex drives did not match at all, if I had married any of them that would have been an incredibly unhappy marriage so I'm very glad about that.
But what you and your boyfriend are doing is fine too - if you believe that you want to wait and no sex before marriage is important then you should stick to your beliefs.
As long as you and your boyfriend both agree on what you want and it feels right for both of you then that is all that matters - if you both want to wait, then great. If you both decide you want sex and you are sure about it, then thats great too. As long as you have no doubts about having sex then you will never have any regrets. Its only when people have sex before they are ready or with someone they dont love is when regrets occur.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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