A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:Okaay i dont know where to start! This question isnt realy about me its about my friend but i dont know what to do! So I have this friend who i will call C she has just turned 16 in the last week, she has had a boyfriend and has been with him for about a month, but shes the kind of person who doesnt like to admit when she likes somone. Me and her recently had an argument (it has mostly blown over now but there is a few questions i asked about it) about how she always flirted with my boyfriend she was saying rude things to him on facebook which i happened to see. Recently she had a birthday party, and me her two of our mutual friends and her boyfriend stopped at hers that night and then the next night one of our friends her and her boyfriend stopped again and the third night the friend went home and he stopped in the same bed as her. My boyfriend has just told me that my friends boyfriend told him they had sex that night. Im slightly worried for her and she was due her period any day which is when women are most fertile. Plus they are too young he is still 15 and she has only just turned 16 and they have only been together a month! I know i shouldnt be getting involved but its worrying me and im scared for her. Whats worse is when my boyfriend told me this, he said you cant tell anyone because L (C's boyfriend) said if he told anyone she would break up with him, and if that happened my boyfriend and hers would have a fall out and they would split up. So now i know this thing about my friend im not supposed to know which is worrying me and i cant tell anyone so what can i do? Please help!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 THE OP said: " Im slightly worried for her and she was due her period any day which is when women are most fertile."
ummmm NO... most women get a period and then you start counting from the first day of your period. at about MIDCYCLE or about 2 weeks later is when you ovulate. you are most fertile 3 days before the day of and 3 days after you ovulate.... then if you don't get pregnant 2 weeks after that you get a period (the shedding of the uterine lining that normally would be used to nourish the baby)
so having sex a few days before a period is due is not the most fertile time (although with young girls with irregular periods that rule is often useless and protection should be used at all times)
there really is nothing you can do but be there if she comes to you...do not judge...
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 November 2011):
 First things first, lets get the sex education lesson out of the way. Women are NOT at their most fertile before their period. Women have a cycle that typically lasts around 28 days. The period happens towards the end of the cycle. The egg is released towards the start of the cycle, and takes a while to travel down the fallopian tubes and towards the womb. Sperm only survive a few days inside a woman therefore they need to have the egg either in the womb or the lower parts of the fallopian tubes for fertilisation. So the most fertile time of the month for a woman is right in the middle of the cycle, i.e day 14 and around that week. The egg has to be 'fresh' so to speak, any later than this and the egg isnt at its most fertile and decays. As the womb lining starts to break up ready for the period, the egg is taken along with this and comes out as part of your period.
Note - you can still get pregnant at any time of the month, even during your period, but your chances are lower compared to your most fertile time during the middle of your cycle.
So your friend is NOT at her most fertile, but yes she still could be pregnant if she didnt use any protection.
I understand you are scared for her and she is very young, but there really is nothing you can do here. You cant say anything otherwise it will mess up too many friendships. All you can do is simply wait and see what happens - be a good friend and be there for her if she needs you. Maybe in conversation double check she has had her period, if she has then she probably isnt pregnant. Although if she had sex very close to being on her period if she was pregnant she still could have a period and then it wont show until the next month.
But try not to get involved - it is none of your business and if she is stupid enough to have unprotected sex well its her own fault. If she feels she is old enough to be having sex she is old enough to take responsiblity for the consequences, there is nothing you can do for her. Anyway, it has happened now - there is no turning back time.
Be a good friend, support her if she needs it, but keep quiet and wait and see what happens.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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