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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Should I break up with him on his birthday?
Q. Should I break up with my boyfriend? A little background on me: I'm 16. I dated a really sweet guy for a year, then we broke up, I started dating my current boyfriend, who is also a very sweet guy. We've been dating for 10 months now. The...
A. 22 February 2012: Break up with him, but either do it right away or after his birthday. NOT on the actual day itself, that would be very harsh.
There is no point in trying to keep things going when you clearly dont want to, you have said you are too differen... (read in full...)
I had sex with an old friend and now he's avoiding me. Why?
Q. I recently had sex with an old friend, and now he is avoiding me. We've been circling each other for years, had periodic make outs, and are always very touchy feely with each other, but we've never made the big move before. We're both with other ...
A. 22 February 2012: There could be a million reasons - you are going to have to ask him.
Maybe he feels the relationship has changed now you have had sex and he feels uncomfortable being just friends and going back to how you were before.
Maybe he was after sex al... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's comment about my short hair is she gay, or does she like men and women ? has left me feeling really bad!
Q. I'm hurt by a comment that my boyfriend's friend made. When my boyfriend showed him my photo, he said " is she gay, or does she like men and women ? ". He said that just because i have very short hair!. It's a pixie style hair cut.I feel really self ...
A. 22 February 2012: Some men are just idiots and like to say stupid things, he was probably trying to be funny in front of his friend (your boyfriend). He obviously knows you are not gay because you are with his friend, so he was probably just trying to wind your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend will ruin my life if I leave her. How do I get out of this?
Q. My girlfriend is completely obsessed with me. If I leave her she will ruin my life. I think the only way to make her fall out of love with me is to tell her that im convinced that im seriousely gay even though im not. What can I do that will make ...
A. 22 February 2012: We need more information. How will she ruin your life? What exactly will she be able to do? Why do you think claiming you are gay is going to make her fall out of love with you (it wont in my opinion)? Why do you want to leave her? How long have you ... (read in full...)
Fiance called off our wedding and there was no warning! Help!
Q. Yesterday, my fiance called off our wedding. I never before believed the people who say 'It came totally out of the blue'. 'Surely', I used to think 'there must have been signs. Arguments, tensions, disagreements, pressure. Things that led ...
A. 22 February 2012: Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you really need to get a grip! He hasnt left you - he has simply called off the wedding for now as he is going through some personal problems and wants to get them sorted before he commits to something as major as ... (read in full...)
He's restless and he never tells me if he likes me. Is he Bf material or not?
Q. I like this guy but I dont know if he likes me? When I told him I liked him he never told me if he like me. What bugs me is when we chill together he nenver talks but on the phone he constantly talks. The only time he talks a lot in front of me ...
A. 21 February 2012: Ok so he doesnt talk to you, he didnt say he likes you and is uncomfortable around you - how much more of a sign do you need that he is not interested?
If he liked you he would have said so, when you told him how you felt. So there is not a lo... (read in full...)
What's his deal? He got cold feet and decided he wanted both me and the other girl. Is he commitment phobic?
Q. I was dating this total sweetheart. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a guy and then some. However, we broke up a few months ago. He began dating another girl immediately but kept in contact with me, and eventually dumped the other girl so ...
A. 21 February 2012: He's an idiot and you should move on. Simple as that.
Dont waste your time trying to figure him out, he obviously cant decide which girl he likes out of you both so he is playing games with both of you until he makes his mind up.
Take th... (read in full...)
At what point would I be 'settling' versus being 'too picky' in this relationship?
Q. How do you know when you are "Settling" in a relationship vs. "Being too picky". Both will get you in the end. "settling" for someone or a relationship in general that can't or won't meet your basic needs will leave you lonely, and unsatisf...
A. 21 February 2012: There are two seperate issues here - the settling/too picky issue, and then the fact you have stayed with a man who has cheated on you by having an affair behind your back (presumably that is what has happened since you mention the 'other woman'?)
... (read in full...)
Is this kind of behavior inappropriate for a married man? Does it mean he is attaracted to me?
Q. Extremely confused by this older married man!? There is this man at my work who is constanly flirting with me. He is about 20 plus years older than me, I am only 22. We do not work together but cross paths a few times a week or more. I have known ...
A. 21 February 2012: No this is not appropriate behaviour, if his wife knew about this she would be incredibly upset. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if your husband was telling a girl at work how beautiful she is and going around saying this girl is his ... (read in full...)
Will asking about his past open a can of worms?
Q. Hi there, I've been in a relationship for 6+ months, and all is going well. We are happy. We never talk about past relationships, we are both quite guarded people and are slowly opening up more over time. He has a lot of female friends. Which h...
A. 21 February 2012: Trust him until he gives you a reason not to be trusted. Simple as that.
At the moment you have a great relationship and no reason not to trust him, so dont bring up a conversation like this otherwise it will plant the seed in his mind that a) ... (read in full...)
He is so nice to me. But My friends talk him down. What do others make of this situation?
Q. my boyfriend and i was broke up for 3 weeks i begged him to get back with me he said no he didn't want a relationship. Then i stopped talking to him ignored him and then he was the one who was wanting to be together again he said he loved me so much...
A. 20 February 2012: Gosh it really sounds like your friends are very negative, pessimistic people! Him being nice to you means he loves you and wants to make things up to you after treating you badly. It would be more obvious if he was cheating, there would be lots of ... (read in full...)
I feel like I`m trying hard to be better but he`s still not interested in sex
Q. Hopefully you all will understand the connection...I asked my boyfriend why we weren't being intimate with each other and he said I need to be nice to him so that he's happy when we are intimate. It was the first time I realized what an over ...
A. 20 February 2012: Ask him. Explain that you have made a big effort recently, he has even said he has noticed and he loves it - so why is your sex life still suffering?
There is nothing you can do apart from talk to it, he might think your sex life is fine so you n... (read in full...)
I feel taken for granted, trapped in my flat and frankly bored.
Q. My boyfriend and I have always had an up and down relationship but great sex and alot of laughs for the first few years, he is probably the funniest person I know. Having been together for 10 years (bar a year and a half apart) I have always felt ...
A. 20 February 2012: Look - you have cheated on your boyfriend already, maybe try telling your boyfriend what has happened, that will probably be the decision made for you.
There is no trust in this relationship anymore, through your boredom and unhappiness you have... (read in full...)
One For Love & One For Money....
Q. Okay......In a pickle. I have been dating a guy for 8 months and he's great...but...we have very different approaches to life. He is just getting back on his feet and really can't afford much of anything! I have financially been carrying our ...
A. 16 February 2012: Wow. You are basically willing to cheat on your boyfriend and become a prostitute in order to build a business? I cant believe you are honestly asking for advice on this!
Exchanging sex in return for money (whether this is cold hard cash or an 'i... (read in full...)
Broken Hearted. How do I get her to love me??? Or how do I move on?
Q. There's this girl I talked to online for a really long time. we spent forever together and i thought things were going fine. we hung out once and it seemed like it went well but she doesn't want me for some reason. she talks to me all the time and...
A. 16 February 2012: Look - lets get this straight, you spent nearly NO time with her AT ALL!! You had a lot of conversations with her online yes, but that is totally different to spending time with someone in person.
What happened is you met up, things didnt cl... (read in full...)
How can I identify and where can I meet women who will not cheat on me?
Q. I am 23 and I have only had one girl friend who broke my heart, the reason why I dont date a lot is mainly because of that and I am slighty shy around the oppsite sex. Anyways here is my Question where can I meet women who will not cheat on me?...
A. 16 February 2012: There is no one place you can meet women who dont cheat - you simply have to be able to judge a woman's personality to see whether she seems like a good moral person, or whether she is a massive flirt who is constantly surrounded by men. Normally ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with a girl my own age. Should I? Feels gut wrenching to do this to my LDR older Gf
Q. Right here goes. I have been in a long distance relationship for about 3 years. My girlfriend is Thai so she lives in Thailand and I live in Australia. I visit her quite frequently and when I can and we speak at least 3 times a day. The probl...
A. 16 February 2012: Well you have to be realistic and logical now - what do you want from a relationship? I.e. do you want to get married, have children, live with the person you love etc? Therefore do you see your relationship needs, and your future dreams, being met ... (read in full...)
I'm new to online dating, how can I let this guy down nicely? Or should I offer to meet up anyway just to see if I was wrong about him?
Q. I've just recently started to try online dating. A few people have requested contact but I wasn't really interested so I politely declined their requests. One guy who contacted me seemed like he might be interesting to get to know him so I said I ...
A. 16 February 2012: Its up to you - ignoring the fact he has spent money contacting you, what do you want to do? Is there enough to interest you in meeting up, or are you 100% certain this wouldnt work?
If I were you I would just explain that you are sorry but you ... (read in full...)
Zero skills at dating women. How bold is too bold? Can I just ask out a women I do not know?
Q. Is it ok to walk up to a total stranger that you find either attractive or interesting and ask them out? I am 23 and sadly I have practically zero skill when It comes to dating women any helpful advice would go a long way thanks a lot :) ...
A. 16 February 2012: Well I am a female, aged 24, and I can tell you now if some guy walked up to me in the street and didnt say anything else to me other than 'will you go out with me' I would be so freaked out. Even if he was the best looking guy in the world I would ... (read in full...)
I know he is interested in me, but why does he ignore my gestures for us seeing each other again?
Q. Hello all, guys and ladies advice needed mainly guys. So I have been talking/dating a man for about 8 months now, mainly on the phone, because we live in diffrent states, we would text every single day. He always has been the initiator and I've just ...
A. 15 February 2012: My first thoughts are that he has a girlfriend or is married. The fact that he flew to see you (note you didnt go to his home town) and then the vaugeness around seeing each other again indicates that he cant get away from his home town often ... (read in full...)
He suddenly just stopped communication and then started it again. Does he like me and where do I go from here?
Q. Hello everyone, Any help would be greatly appreciated as I'm very confused right now! So I've been dating this guy, we met through a mutual friend and things have been going well. He would constant text me, call me 'pet names' and complime...
A. 15 February 2012: It sounds like he does like you, but he may be playing games. There could be a million reasons why he went quiet for 3 days, maybe he is dating someone else as well, maybe he was trying to do the '3 day rule' game where after a date you dont get in ... (read in full...)
Should I apologize? it still hurts.
Q. Last year, me and my best friend who I used to love broke out due to I couldn't cope with the pressure when she was going out with another guy for three months. Those three months was not easy for me to go through. If you want to know how pain...
A. 15 February 2012: I dont know what you want to apologize for? You didnt do anything wrong!
You simply were in love with your friend, sent her a letter to tell her how you felt but that ended the friendship - which of course it natural, you cannot be friends ... (read in full...)
Love him or leave him? Or would FWB work?
Q. What should I do about my new lover? I met him at Christmas time through my sisters boyfriend and although I wasn't sure at first, we ended up being lovers. As he lives in my home town (he has a four year old son who he sees as much as possible...
A. 14 February 2012: So he is a drug user and heavy drinker, and you also drink and use drugs? Definitely not a good combination - cut your losses and move on.
And one thing to note - cutting out the drugs will most certainly help you with your trust issues, the para... (read in full...)
I think she has a problem with me being a Christian, is she a bad friend and should I stop hanging out with her?
Q. I'm a Christian. I'm not a bible thumper, and I love the gays, and I swear, and you wouldn't know I was a Christian if I never told you. Last summer I got a job teaching kids art at an art school, and there I met a girl my age that was really ...
A. 14 February 2012: She simply sounds like an ignorant person who cannot be bothered to take time to understand her friend's beliefs - so yes she is a bad friend!
I would stop hanging out with her if I were you, she sounds like more hassle than its worth. You dont... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I miss the way we used to be? Or leave it?
Q. I'm kinda seeing this guy on and off for a year. We're not official thagether, but it feels like we are. Recently though we've started to drift apart. We've had a lot of fights this past year, and I think it has something to do with that. But a few ...
A. 14 February 2012: You definitely should talk to him, otherwise it will end up with you breaking up if you carry on like this. Explain how you feel, what you want to change, and then how you are going to do it.
There is no point in saying 'I miss how we used to ... (read in full...)
He said me breaking up with him was the best Valentines gift ever! I know he doesn't want me, but I still feel like I made a mistake by breaking up with him....
Q. Dear cupid i am in love with a guy for 2 years. He knows that and we are in fwb. He is not seeing anyone and im not either. But he never introduced me as his gf. I am his friend, thats all he wanted from me, but i want more. I told him today i...
A. 14 February 2012: Look - the problem here is that you settled for a FWB when you wanted a relationship. Men never take women seriously if they give away sex easily, therefore your guy never took you seriously because you were just sex to him. That's why he would ... (read in full...)
The designated unattractive fat friend?
Q. I have a attractive female friend. She surrounds her self with less attractive female friends. My friend says that attractive girls with "fat ugly friends" have no personality!!!!! it is true, that she has little to no personality!! Is this a fluke ...
A. 14 February 2012: Of course there is no science behind it, do you honestly think scientists spend their time getting pretty girls with ugly friend's wired up to electrodes to figure out why they are friends? They have better things to do in the name of science, like ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to put my life on hold for a while is that right of him to ask?
Q. A couple of weeks ago I got a call from a former navy recruiter, and he told me of a new opportunity that would let me enlist in the military, but it is only valid for the next two months. I was very happy about it since i have been wanting to do ...
A. 14 February 2012: He is the one being selfish not you. He wants you to put your entire life on hold until he is 'ready' - ready for what exactly? It is you that wants the job not him, I really dont get what he needs to be 'ready' for?
If you are with a man that... (read in full...)
Interested in a bi girl but she has a girlfriend....so why did she send me this message? Does she want to date me?
Q. So I like this girl she is Bi. We have been hanging out for a few weeks. She always says I'm like exactly like her and that I'm like a brother lol And she's dating this chick but today she sent me a text out of no where. She wrote " would you ever...
A. 10 February 2012: It sounds like you are right on this - she does sound interested and it sounds like she does talk about you in front of her girlfriend and the girlfriend is jealous.
But you cannot do anything about it, she is in a relationship so until she is s... (read in full...)
My G/f doesn't want a child, yet is against any form of birth control apart from me using a condom. She says if the condom rips then we can just put the baby up for adoption!!
Q. Hi, Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years she is 20 i am 23 we have been having sex for around 2 months, she was a virgin and wanted to wait, but a conversation we had the other day has confused me slightly. She says to me that ...
A. 10 February 2012: I honestly have no idea why she doesnt want to take birth control - what are her excuses?
She is being immature and very foolish. You cant just give up a chil for adoption because you are stupid enough to get pregnant, it doesnt work like tha... (read in full...)
Is he a player? Should I stay with him? Or am I just one of many?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm in a really confusing situation right now, but I need to make a decision soon and I hope that I will get some good advice from here. I have been in a relationship with this guy since a year - last February, we are going to complet...
A. 10 February 2012: Irrespective of the co-worker, he has still done far too much damage to this relationship for you to ever be able to continue this.
Dont make excuses for him, look at you trying to defend him and give him the benefit of the doubt! Why on earth do... (read in full...)
Is he a player? Should I stay with him? Or am I just one of many?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm in a really confusing situation right now, but I need to make a decision soon and I hope that I will get some good advice from here. I have been in a relationship with this guy since a year - last February, we are going to complet...
A. 10 February 2012: Quite simply - I dont think you will ever be able to trust him. He has cheated on you, he has lied to you, he has continued to do hurtful things behind your back when you have asked him to stop....how much more does he need to do to you before you ... (read in full...)
She's in a relationship but I'm sure she is attracted to me, however I cant stand her flirting with all the men in the office!
Q. Hi I have a question that i hoped someone might be able to help with. My problem is that I work with a lady who I usually get along with quite well, and I am attracted to her and I believe that she has some attraction towards me. We will often sa...
A. 10 February 2012: Look - she is in a relationship and flirts with LOTS of men in the office. Therefore she is NOT interested in you, she is simply a naturally flirty person and is flirting with you the same as she flirts with everyone else. Flirting is ok as long as ... (read in full...)
Even though we aren't really ready for a baby, I'm terribly sad I'm not pregnant!
Q. My fiance and I were not trying to get pregnant, in fact we were trying to prevent it, but I had suspicion that I could be pregnant. I was having fatigue, upset belly, dark sensitive nipples. Then my period was several days late (incredibly unusual) ...
A. 9 February 2012: Many girls feel like this - they are called phantom pregnancies. Us girls can convince ourselves we are pregnant in our heads and then our body goes along with the joke too for a while, so we have built ourselves up thinking we are pregnant, start ... (read in full...)
Useful advice needed on this age difference!
Q. okay so this is confusing some people may think its absurd others may think its okay, but basically in 2009 i was in year eleven and i was going out with a year eight BUT his birthday was right by the dead line of the year thing, i cant remember ...
A. 9 February 2012: It is hard to answer this question because saying what year you are both in at school means nothing - you are 17 but how old is he? 15? I presume he is around that age anyway.
Well why not stay best mates for a bit longer and then think about ge... (read in full...)
He has asked me out and I like him, but I'm very shy and worried about my studies! What should I do?
Q. Hi there. Well, recently I've been kinda dating this guy. The reason I said kind of is because my best friend told him that I liked him, and he likes me too. So then he went up to me and asked if I wanted to go out with him, I really barely k...
A. 9 February 2012: Boyfriend's dont stop you studying as long as you are sensible enough to plan your time and dont waste all your time with boys. It is very important for you to have some time away from your studies, if you are revising all day every day from now ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I don't want to get involved because of my depression and not being over my ex?
Q. My boyfriend recently split up with me, and I've also been to the doctors (at last!) and found out I have depression, so need tablets and counselling. Someone I know, who I've not spoken to very much before, has told me he likes me. When he first ...
A. 9 February 2012: You told him you liked him, then agreed to go on a date and stay over at his house - of course you have led him on! He is not a mind reader, he wasnt going to know that you meant you liked him as a friend, so that one was a pretty silly thing to do ... (read in full...)
How can I love someone that doesn't appear to 'give' a lot and has hurt me like this?
Q. Hi, I'd just like some feedback and just wanna have a vent to someone impartial. I've been split up with my ex for 3 months. I'll keep it short but we were friends/housemates first but there had always been 'something' between us. We decided to go ...
A. 8 February 2012: I dont think it is the 'love' you feel that is making you feel like this - it is being left for someone else. That is just about the most painful thing anyone can do - you wanted him, and all the while he was obviously starting a relationship with ... (read in full...)
Can you help me understand my HUGE crush on this guy who I have like forever please?
Q. Okay so I need help. Im in senior school (high school) and i fancy this guy who is really sweet. I have known him since we were 3 and I have liked him for about 6-7 years, but my friends only think Ive liked him for 3. He has always stuck up for me, ...
A. 8 February 2012: Well it sounds like he likes you, otherwise he wouldnt have wanted to kiss you.
It sounds like you like each other, but you are both being rather childish about it (why on earth did you run off after he kissed you? That pretty much ruined i... (read in full...)
I have yet to be in a relationship and am not sure why and I'm running out of options!
Q. I'll start off by saying that I'm a 23 year-old male currently in college and fixing to graduate in May. My undergraduate degree is in very high demand and, barring something unforeseen, I should have a pretty well-paying job when I receive my ...
A. 8 February 2012: Have you tried online dating? I know there is still some stigma attached but honestly I believe it is the easiest way to meet someone, and it is the best practice out there for people that struggle with dating. You get approached by women, and you ... (read in full...)
If it turns out I am pregnant, should I tell him? I know for certain I will have an abortion and I'm afraid he might want to keep it.
Q. So about a 3 weeks ago, I had a friend of a friend who was visiting from overseas. We had sex, and although I've been on birth control for about four years, we did not use a condom. I was supposed to get my period this week, but did not. He is t...
A. 8 February 2012: You do have to tell him, this baby, while in your body, is still 50% his so it is the right thing to do to tell him. It may be a bit of a pointless thing to do, because at the end of the day you have made your mind up - but out of courtesy you ... (read in full...)
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