A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently come out bisexual to my boyfriend and family. They've been supportive. I just can't seem to find a girl-friend. Where do I look and how do I look? How can you tell if she's interested? I'm so confused. Please can you help me with this. I really want to find a girl-friend. Thanks. Xx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Well do you not already have female friends? Surely if you are looking for a strictly platonic friendship then you wouldnt have mentioned being bi-sexual because that is irrelevant? Your question would have been 'how can I make more female friends' rather than talking about your sexuality. And why did you say 'how can you tell if she is interested'? That is what you say when you are wondering if someone is 'interested' in you for a relationship/sexual nature.
I'm sorry but I dont believe that you want a simple friendship, you wouldnt have mentioned your sexuality of you were. I think you have alterior motives, I think you might want to find a friend but you will want to see how you feel and may want to experiment with your sexuality with a girl despite having a boyfriend.
If you genuinely want to make friends for no other motive other than simple friendship, then there is a good website over here in the UK called City Socialising where you can go and make new friends (it is friendship only, not dating) but you do have to be near a city for that to work. You can also try and join some clubs relating to any hobbies you have e.g. a running club if you like running etc. Do you go to school/college/uni? That is the obvious place to make friends if you do, just chat to someone in your class or while you are getting your lunch or something like that. Do you have a job? If not then getting a job is a good way to make friends, you can chat to your co-workers whilst you are working and you get to know people that way.
Making friends is easy, you simply chat to people that you spend time with. But something tells me it is not quite as simple as that for you....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand where you're coming from. But I was putting girl-friend not girlfriend. Cos I want a girl mate. Not someone I can cheat on. Just someone who I can have a friendly relationship with not a sexual one.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 November 2011):
Gay clubs are a good place to start, or online dating.
But what I dont understand is how you are planning on having both a boyfriend and girlfriend - is your boyfriend happy for you to cheat on him and have an affair? Have you spoken to him about this?
Just because you have decided you're bi-sexual doesnt make it ok to have BOTH a boyfriend and a girlfriend, it is still cheating anf it is wrong. It would be like having 2 boyfriends - I'm sure you wouldnt do that, so why are you looking for a girlfriend?
I hope you have thought this though properly - two-timing is a lot of work, having 2 relationships without the other person getting upset all the time is incredibly difficult.
To be honest I dont think any girl will want to be your girlfriend if you already have a boyfriend, no-one wants to be someone's bit on the side or to be two-timed. Even if you found a girl who claimed to be ok with you having a boyfriend, she will get jealous if you spend more time with him rather than her, and the same applies for your boyfriend - he will be jealous if you spend more time with your girlfriend rather than him.
To put it simply - having 2 relationships at the same time is very very WRONG. It doesnt matter what gender the 2 people are, having 2 relationships simply wont work. When heterosexual couples do this and it ends in marriage this is called bigamy and it is illegal, that is how serious this sort of thing is.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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