A
female
age
41-50,
*heffink
writes:I'm so confused with this guy!?I've been working with this guy in the past 3 months. We get along very well and started chatting immediately. There is chemistry although recently when it's just the two of us it feels a bit nerve wracking and there's been a few awkward silences. Over the past few weeks there has been more flirting and occasionally getting to know each other. He gazes into my eyes and it feels like we both make extended eye contact. Like we both hold the gaze. It feels like I wouldn't make that kind of eye contact with just a friend. When I went away for 4 days he acted weird when I returned. Like totally quiet. It felt like he missed me. After a while we started talking like normal. And then today it was my birthday and colleagues arranged a surprise cake. This is the usual thing. So there's cake and everyone has coffee and stands by the table and chats. In the past he has always come over and taken part. When I walked in today everyone sang happy birthday and then we all made some small talk. I noticed this guy didn't leave his desk. I felt a bit disappointed that he didn't wish me happy birthday. It felt like he didn't want to be part of my day. Anyway so I took some cake over to him and he said happy birthday and I said why didn't you come over. He said "I love you" isn't that enough? He has said that he loves me a few times before, sometimes I think he's being playful and then sometimes it feels like he does actually mean it. I have feelings for him, yet it all feels a bit confused...I thought about messaging him and saying to him I liked what you said to me yesterday...thoughts?
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female
reader, cheffink +, writes (5 April 2014):
cheffink is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think if I message him and say I like what you said to me the other day?
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 April 2014):
 Happy birthday. I think he didn't join in because he would rather be celebrating it with you, just you two. He doesn't like feeling just a friend. His crush on you is not known to others. For some reason he never asked you out but found it hard to move on either. Anything but an "I love you too" sounds disappointing. It is best to leave it alone. He knows better not to play with words when he can't or decides not to do anything in reality. Just treat him like a friend and let him withdraw if it's better for his heart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 April 2014):
 Eh, I think it's all a bit too much and too fast.
4 months of chatting at work here and there and he declares his love, yet sit and SULKS at his desk when everyone else celebrate YOUR birthday? You don't find that odd?
I would tread cautiously because 1. he is a co-worker (if it doesn't work out that will make it awkward and can create drama) and 2. he seems moody. You went away for 4 days and he acted weird. Seriously? That is just a little off for me.
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