A
female
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anonymous
writes:HiI have a problem that i need help with I am going out with my bf tonight and feel as tho i need to get some stuff off my chest with him as i keep mulling it over in my head and it never seems the right time to talk to himHe is going away for three weeks to see his kids and parents He works away from them I know that i prob seem very selfish but i am getting wound up about him going Its not that i dont trust him or anything its that i miss him so much when he is away I dont eat properly (hardly at all) and cry and get so wound up I really dont wanna be like this but i cant help itHis kids dont know about me and i dont feel as tho i want to push him to tell me as they are his kids so he should make those decisionsI want to ask him if when he is away i could go and see him even if its just for one night I dont wanna take away time with his kids tho Im in a bit of a mess as i dont want him to think im being too clingy or invading his time with his kidsWhen im with him i feel ok as tho i dont need to ask because everythings fine Its when im away from him that i feel as tho i should have asked him I have such strong feelings for him and i just dont wanna push him away but feel as tho i need to see him in this timeAny advice please Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious about your bf being away for three weeks! It might SEEM like a long time, but really, it isn't.I don't know why his children don't know about your relationship with him. Might depend on how long the two of you have been dating, and how serious you are.You DO need to take care of yourself, you know! You have to get adequate amounts of food and sleep, perhaps get together with your friends, and when not with them find interesting things to do on your own. Also, have you considered getting some counselling to deal with the loss you suffered, and your panic attacks and general neediness? If you haven't, I'd strongly recommend doing so.For your own sake, but also, as Eddie points out, when/if your bf figures out what's going on, he may well feel smothered. Get going, girl; start thinking of how to take care of YOURSELF.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had a very close death in the family just before i started seeing him I really dont wanna be too clingy Its prob obvious but i havent had a proper relationship before (im in my 20s)
I also suffer with panic attacks (which he doesnt know about
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A
male
reader, goodbutnotgifted  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 You my friend, are in love. You got it bad, It sounds almost like some one down the road gave you the impression that love is suffering. It's quite the oposite. If your worried and yes I suffer as you do. Try to find constructive things to do, it is a little odd you've yet to be introduced to his kids but how long have you been together? Love is a strange and beautifull thing. Unfortunately the distance makes it stronger bit is bogus isnt it? For the long seperation in your case it sounds like, entertaining or hanging out with friends would be best, join a book club or the local redcross. The less your idle the less the seperation will haunt you. When he's ready you'll be with him for that visit. you might think of why he hasnt taken you? again with the time, is he ready? are they? I hope this helps but I know your position in this one, and have disovered the best answer is to just wait it out. It doesnt make it easier but you can always look back on the fact that your happy together and remember he'll come back to you.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 December 2006):
 Well I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to visit him. That would be fine under normal circumstances. What you need to figure out though is why you're so needy. Eventuall, when he realizes what's going on, he'll feel smothered. Do you have some type of issues you've not dealt with, from the past?
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