A
female
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*atylouise
writes: I am having a fling with someone at work and he has a girlfriend. I feel bad that he is with someone but i like him and cant resist him. its been going on for a couple of months now and i really fancy him. Trouble is i told myself that i wouldnt get too attached but i leave work and start a new job elsewhere soon and i think im going to miss him. He said he'll miss me too but i dont think its in the same way. He hasnt mentioned anything about still meeting up when i finish im just assuming he wont want to. Im not sure what i should do as im confused at the moment and would like a bit of advice.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): Me again. I forgot to mention that we have sex probably twice a week. More if it was always up to me, and she said yesterday during our discussions that we had "a great sex life"
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (9 December 2006):
Sweetie, he does have a girlfriend after all, so it would not be wise to continue to see him anymore. Accept the fact that he got what he wanted, and he is a user and a liar and a cheat, this affair should not have started, but be thankful that you can just walk away and start afresh. You will get over him in time, TRUST ME. Take care. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): Hi Katy
I think the least painful and quickest way of getting through this problem is to see what has happened as a mistake and to put this guy behind you, your feelings for him will fade and go, if you allow them to.
You told yourself you wouldn't get too attached so you knew that getting involved with a guy who is already in a relationship was risky business. I think if I were in your situation, I would tell myself that the next person I meet would be 100% single and that I would not take things too far until I was more sure that they cared about me in the same way as I cared about them, how does that sound?
Work flings, seeing married or spoken-for people will always end in heartache for you if it is a boyfriend, or a relationship you ultimately want from someone. You must try and protect yourself by not falling for people who can not commit to you. Some people find themselves in your situation once, and never repeat it again, instead they go on to find a proper relationship, others continue repeatidly getting involved in unhealthy relationships and go through many years of emotional pain, rejection and pain. I hope you are one of the first people and that you can learn from what has happened.
Perhaps a friend or two could help you take your mind off this guy? I think you will start feeling happier quicker than you imagine, as soon as you make the decision and allow it to happen. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (9 December 2006):
Well, you had a fling. Consider yourself FLUNG !! Poor you. He's a cheater, you assist him and now you want sympathy. You laid down with a man who you had no business being with. Enjoy the consequences.
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