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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I ordered a piee of pizza last night and the guy behind the counter looked at my boyfriend and said "it's ready". I looked at him and he looked at me and said, "What... aren't you going to pay?" I felt instantly insulted that he didn't offer to buy me a piece of pizza, considering we hadn't gone out to dinner. It makes me wonder if he's going to be cheap and spending a life with him is going to be difficult or unpleasant, even if I earn my own money. I friend is telling me that it's horrible and I should break up with him. Is this a deal breaker?
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female
reader, IAMDONE  +, writes (24 February 2011):
Well, I have been nearly in the same situation. My boyfriend always expected me to pay for dinner because I had on several occasions. It appeared that I was always spending my money for food or whatever. I beleive he started taking me for granted. I met him in St Louis for a social visit since we do not live in the same town and he asked me one morning while in St Louis, where I was going for breakfast...I was offended because this has always been his lead into me buying food for him. I responded by saying, "I don't know, where did you plan to take me?" He had the strangest look across his face and he found a breakfast place and paid for it! The entire trip he paid for any food we consumed. I would not dump him if the relationship has any substance. But I would always be prepared to pay for my own food and I am never reaching into my pocketbook again for breakfast, lunch, or dinner unless I suggest the place and he is short on cash. Men treat us the way we allow them to treat us!
A
female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 If you would break up with your boyfriend over the price of a slice of pizza then this relationship is not worth very much to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006):
You are at least 30 years only and this is the first time you have had to consider this issue?
You expectation is no longer a common one, so its unfair to treat him like a 'cad'.
You are entitled to not continue this relationship based on this issue if you want to- although "dump" is a little harsh.
I am a door opener and always offer to pay. I doubt that I would date a women that felt that this was some kind of attempt to control or belittle her.
Likewise, if you have an expectation that your date always has to pay and he thinks that both parties should always pay only for their own share no matter how far along the relationship is, then I dont see you being a match. I think you may be reading a bit much into his future behavior if this was really a first date.
Why not have a conversation with him about this before you cross off what might be a good guy? He might have had some bad experiences with gold diggers in the past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): Hun you went up and ordered it yourself - you pay for it yourself!!
Its the 21st century after all and girls everywhere were screaming for equality all those years ago so don't make a mountain out of a mole hill about who pays for a slice of pizza!!
Breaking up over a slice of pizza is really taking things to an extreme to be honest!! Just get over it and forget it!
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A
female
reader, prettyinpink +, writes (18 December 2006):
Honestly hun, Its just a slice of pizza, its really no big deal. And remember its your food, not BOTH of your food. He is your boyfriend, he isn't obligated to pay for everything for you.
Me and my boyfriend usually take turns paying, he'll pay once i'll pay the next time. And if its something that only one of us wants, then we'd usually just pay for it ourselves.
If every guy had to pay for everything a girl wanted, I'm sure they'd prefer just being single, it does get expensive.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 December 2006):
 You're wondering if he's cheap? Let me see, you're hungry, you order food, to fill your stomach. You assume you're entitled to his money to buy YOUR food. OK, I get it now. You wanted something, but, you wanted someone else to pay for it. In other words you wanted to use his money. It sounds, like you're the cheap one. Maybe he's feeling insulted. It's a nice gesture to buy something for another person but he's under no obligation. As for being unpleasant, it sounds like you're the one complaining.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): breaking up would be super harsh
just pay, just like u said its just a pice of pizza
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A
male
reader, TommyWoods +, writes (17 December 2006):
 I would take his tone of voice and the manner in that he sed it to determine whether he was just been silly at the time or if this is something you should expect in the future. If he kept a straight face and made no attempt to assure you it was a one off then i feel you may find yourself in the same situation once again. But he may not have had any money at the time and was too embarrasset to tell you so he did what he did.
Did he leave with pizza on face!
TommyWoods
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (17 December 2006):
 Just go Dutch. It solves all these problems. Unless of course it is a special occasion (or you are married like me and end up paying for everything LOL).
XXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): I don't know, I may be a bit old fashioned, but I think the guy should pay if he asked you out and vice versa....if you are in a relationship already, then I think the money thing is someting you both need to talk about and work out or it could become a reason that you break up....there is no real right answer to this, but it is what you both expect that matters and you need to talk about it.
If he is generally not thoughtful, and he does not pay for anything and expects you to take him out all of the time and pay, then I think he sounds like an immature unambitious guy, and that would be a deal breaker for me, but it would have to be his general character is one where he takes advantage of you, is not polite or thankful or considerate often and on many different occassions.
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A
female
reader, atarisrocks +, writes (17 December 2006):
 my bf never pays for anything for me but i dont think about breaking up with him for it lots of people dont pay for other peoples stuff it just the way they are
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female
reader, scared16 +, writes (17 December 2006):
 i feel things shud b equal in a relationship. if u paid that time then i wud expect him to pay the next time. the old fashioned rule that the man pays 4 everythin is jus that old fashioned x x x
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A
male
reader, guylostinlove +, writes (17 December 2006):
It's a deal breaker if you feel that way. Sometimes, gestures like that don't come normally to people. You didn't mention how long you've been going out with him. I don't think you should label him cheap ... people sometimes are just not thoughtful enough in some situations. And, what you might find to be something he should do, he might not think the same way. Besides, it's just a slice of pizza .. you were at the counter already, you could've paid for it and his too (if he were ordering food). I guess, my other point is that sometimes we're all too petty in a situation when we should not be. Some people are just more generous than others and it depends on the situation. May just take him more time to warm up to you and be more warming in his gestures and actions to you.
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