| A
female
age
51-59,
*shamed
writes: I have made a major mistake!! I have only been married for 3 months and already have sort of cheated infront of my new husband! Its was works night out and I got really drunk I cant even remember the night I had difficulty getting a cab home when one finaly turned up I was happy, I think! anyway turns out when the driver dropped me home I kissed him as my husband was coming out to greet me, I dont know why but apparently it was a long kiss, now I think I have lost his trust and am not sure we will recover from this, I want to make it up to him but dont know how, I cant even remember it!! please advise me I need help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): well this is what drink does to you
why do u feel a need to go out and get drunk
u can enjoy urself without a drink
these are the consequences of ur actions and if ur husband feels the need to seperate for a while then i dont blame him
if he cant trust u with drink wen he is there,
then he obviously cant trust you with drink by urself
Drinking isnt the way and i'm Sorry for being harsh
but YOU have to learn from YOUR mistakes
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2006): I totally agree with everyone here. You didn't need to get drunk, and yet you did. People do all sorts of things when they're drunk, and then blame it on the drink afterwards for the things they dare doing. However, it was your choice to drink so much and get influenced.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): A cheating spouse is the worst thing the other spouse can ever go through and so early in the marriage destroys the victim emotionally. I know this first hand six months to the day my wife started cheating on me. She like you wanted to hang out with her "friend(s)" drinking at the bars after laws school and this guy was part of that scene. First STOP DRINKING event if you repair the marriage your inability to drink in moderation is a whole other problem. Second don't ever have contact with this other guy. I was drunk is not the only reason you kissed him. On some level there was an attraction and that will always be the case. The alcohol just lowered you inhibitions. Third seek counseling there is something really wrong if only after three months of marriage you’re kissing other men.
As for my wife and I well we are in counseling but after things got a lot better she started hang out with her cheating partner as friends again. After I told her how bad it made feel. She lied to me about hanging out with him and would sneak around with him and when I found out I blew up about it and have decided that if she wants her friendship with this guy I will start seeing other people. There is no happy ending here and you have just destroyed the first year of your marriage which is suppose to be the magical and loving time a couple spends together. Well maybe there is one women I started seeing is very sweet intelligent and caring. Just what I need in partner and the caring is something my wife doesn’t have since she went to law school.
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A
female
reader, lovelikethis +, writes (12 December 2006):
you need to stop drinking, or only drink at home with him. he will never forget the kiss, but make sure you give him a good reason to forgive you, because if you do not, you will be in for a lot of crap. he will bring it up all of the time. make sure that it never happens again. never put yourself in a position where it could happen again. don't harp on what happened just prove it was an accident. it was not the alcohol that kissed the cabbie, it was you. think about what you have with your husband and think about what you would be with out him. he is not going to give you uncondittional love, that doesn't exist. you have to do the things that are right, not just what is right now.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 December 2006):
This was a big mistake. IF your husband forgives you, quit drinking. It's a sure way to show him that at least you know you were out of character and you do REALLY foolish things when drunk. How can he trust you in the future if you are drinking? The answer is, he can't and he is justified in feeling that way. Alcohol is a like a drug. You can lose control and you did. Being drunk doesn't excuse it though.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006):
I think you would lose everyones trust over that.
Is this the kind of thing you'd do when you were single? Soul kiss strange cab drivers you just meet?
Unless he is going to kid himself into believing that this is part of your wacky personality, I think he is going to very troubled and want to know why this is not going to be happening again and again.
I suggest that you stop drinking all together and maybe start attending some AA meetings.
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