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anonymous
writes:"I found my soul mate 3 years ago,but were both married"Hi everyone,I'm just new to this forum,I was so surprised to read a forum letter and its replies about soulmates, I was never looking or in search for my soulmate, but our lives crossed 3 years ago ,and we knew from the very first meeting (even before that ,as we used to chat online) that there was something mystical,spiritual...there was a feeling of security, as if I had known this person in another lifetime,we read one anothers thoughts, we have similar values in life, we care so deeply about one another, always willing to listen and share one anothers problems and agonies we fell in love with one another, but above all we are best friends.There isn't much we cant talk about. We are both trying to accept that both being in 20 year plus year marriages and with kids ,that the possibilty of one day being together may never happen, however we do keep an open mind.We ask ourselves if were both so deeply and madly in love ...is it wrong to have these feelings for someone else ,yet still be in love with our spouses as well?We enjoy each others company ,and we organise to meet at the moment at least once a week,even if for an hour or so,I,m asking are we doing wrong?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): ok i think that you need to follow your heart and decide whats completes you now like you said you have kids with your spouse. your main concern in this should be your children, because nine times out of ten they will be their more so than a man. if you think your soulmate and you are the one let it go DIVORCE its very common you need to look out for you and your children but mainly YOU!!!! i have been fucked over so many times and i fucked over many times but now i could not be any happier ONE LIFE! live by those words and see what you come up with
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): No you're not! Love is never wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): I completly agree with youi split from my partner after 8 years after he cheated on me. i met someone but we never quite got it together. i know he thinks about me now as he asks me why we never got it together and we cant even look at each other now. its like we know we are meant to be together but somehow we missed the opputunity. now i'm back with my ex and he has a girlfriend who is now pregnant. i know we are meant to be together the feeling is so strong but i think we missed the opportunity and both deeply regret it. do you agree
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 You say that you are deeply in love with your soulmate and keep an open mind about being together one day. To be perfectly honest i do think what you are doing is wrong. You say you also love your husband but you are sharing your heart with someone else. I see nothing wrong in having a male friend who makes you laugh and you enjoy spending time with. But when it gets to a stage where you are in love with him this is wrong. You have kids and a husband whom you say you love so i think you should concentrate on these areas and said goodbye to your soulmate.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 Okay, here is MY definition of a soul mate -
Your soul mate is a person with whom from the outset, you have a special connection. He or she is someone to whom you are profoundly drawn. On first meeting your soul mate you will find that you instantly click, that there is a rapport. You feel that no one else in the room matters. They are someone with whom you have chemistry and you spark off one another, you are so intrigued by them that you find yourself listening more than you want to talk.
Your soul mate will be someone with whom you immediately feel comfortable. When you first meet, your heart may skip a beat at the mere mention of their name, your stomach may churn when you bump into them but they should also, in time, be someone with whom you feel at one. With this person you should feel safe and secure. They are not a person who would undermine you. They are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small and they will love, respect and care for you.
Your soul mate is not someone who would ever want you to change. They think the world of you as you are. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and your relationship with them should be honest. You should not be afraid of telling them anything because they love you as you are! They will never judge you and whatever you do their opinion of you will not change.
You are always "yourself" when you are together. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries, be twenty years apart, none of that has any bearing on whether you are perfectly matched. You see more in each other than the naked eye could ever see. You see into each other's souls which is why you have this deep, strong link.
There is an unspoken language between you and the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you. You will often think the same things at the same times. You are able to finish each others sentences on occasions.
When you meet this special person you WILL know. It will be instinctive and it will be different from any feeling that you have ever had for anyone in the past.
Now all that being said... if you feel like THAT about a person, do you still think you are being fair to your spouse? Enough said.........
Eve
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 March 2007):
 You are ABSOLUTEY doing wrong. How could it be anything else? You're cheating on your spouse because you haven't bothered to work on your relationship. What a shame. You sneak around like a teenager. An hour a minute or a second is wrong. The reason is this, you probably spend hours looking foreward to your clandestine meeting, thus robbing your family of the real you. The YOU they think they know is not REAL. You're living the life of an imposter. Really, is that a good thing?
The truth is you didn't really know anything from the moment you met. You're meeting was generated by your on line relationship that was also harming your marriage. You were both stirring the pot. You allowed yourself to play the "we're just friends" game and you slipped down the slope. All the while trying to convince yourself it was OK because you'd never do anything.
That is the common thread that we share as humans. We like people who make us feel good. It supposed to be our partners. Sometimes we forget to pay attention though and things slip away. It's very predictable and if you look back at how it stared you'll see the same thing. It's also wrong. The charge you got talking to this other guy should have been generated by the renewed effort you should have been putting into your marriage.
What do you think?
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (11 March 2007):
 It depends what you're doing when you meet. If you're engaging in any form of sexual activity then you're cheating on your spouses and that would be wrong but if you're meeting up just to talk that would be okay.
I think people often get the wrong idea about soulmates. They assume that just because they share the same values and feel a strong attraction to them that theyre meant to spend their lives together. This needn't be true. My idea of a soulmate is someone who makes you feel complete but that doesn't necessarily have to be someone you're having sex with. A friend can be just as much a soulmate as a lover. You both made the decision to spend your lives with other people a long time ago and at the time you promised you would love your partner forever. You say you still love your respective spouses which tells me that regardless of the strong connection you feel you should both stick with your marriages and be soulmates in the best friends sense of the word. It can be just as rewarding and infinitely more positive as an outcome for both of you and your respective families.
CD
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