A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My name is Helen. I'm married with 2 kids, but I'm feeling a little unhappy lately. My husband is a migrant (from Lebanon) and lately I don't feel like we have much in common. He doesn't really challenge me enough intellectually, and sexually things could probably be better. I don't know... he's the only man I've been with. I just feel a bit confined in my life. I need something more.Lately I've been thinking more and more about my sister's husband. While we haven't always gotten along, we do have some great intellectual debates and discussions. I find myself able to discuss things with him on a deeper level than I can my husband. I know he's attracted to me on a physical level too, as he flirts with me sometimes, compliments me often on the way I look or dress, makes comments with subtle sexual innuendo, and by the way he looks at me when nobody else is looking. I'm 99% sure he'd be interested in "hooking up" secretly, but I just don't think either one of us knows how to broach the subject for fear of that 1% chance of the other person saying no.I'm not in love with him and I don't want to steal him away from my sister or anything. I just need some more excitement in my life and I think that he could provide that spark, that challenge, I've been looking for. While at the same time giving him something I'm sure he's thought about too. We have plenty of opportunities to do something about this without anyone ever finding out.What should I do?
View related questions:
flirt, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): I agree with Tellulah! What kind of a person are you? not very nice, sorry but how can you think about your sister's husband in that sort of way? You really might be intellectual but you are not very nice are you?
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (23 March 2007):
 If you are even thinking about cheating with your brother-in-law there is one certainty...you must really, really hate your sister and you must be very bored indeed if you put your need for sexual thrills before your own dignity and your sister's happiness. Perhaps you live on a desert island where there are few men, and even less marriage guidance counsellors? Perhaps your brother-in-law is the only man with an IQ above a goldfish in 1000 miles of where you live.
I know of a family affected by similar issues - the woman in question had an affair with her sister's husband and got pregnant by accident. To cut a long story, the affair got out and a lot of people got hurt - not least the children. Back to you, what happens if your affair gets out? How do you explain that to your children and husband? If you don't get along with your husband then get a divorce, get counselling but don't think an affair will resolve matters. If I was in your situation I wouldn't be thinking of having an affair...I would be really worried about the state of my sisters marriage where she is hooked up with a man who is willing to stray to her nearest and dearest and she doesn't have a clue!
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 March 2007):
 I really hope you're joking. You descibe all the problems in your relationship, wrapped up in a nice package. Then put a really big bow on top. The bow being that you'd like to screw your brother in law. You're a real prize.
What on earth are you thinking. You obviously have no integrity what so ever. Good luck on your mission. By the way, I think it's a bad idea.
...............................
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (23 March 2007):
 You say you are intellectual, but quite honestly i have never heard of anything so stupid in my life.
Is there something wrong with you, thats your sister's husband you are talking about. How can you even consider doing this to your own family.
Its true what they say..... you can be intelligent and have no common-sense.
Just beggar's belief that you ask?
...............................
A
female
reader, electra +, writes (23 March 2007):
 Hey Sweetie :o)
Firstly i'm sorry to hear that you are so unhappy in your marriage babe that can be easily fixed, but your other problem you mentioned, the key words in the whole of your sentance there are MY SISTERS HUSBAND honey thats a big no, no don't go trying it on with your sisters husband thats no way to fix things in your life by having a quick fling with him behind your sisters back, cause that will not only ne being ddis loyal to your sister but you will also be lowering your standards settling for 2nd best he is happy with your sister, and she is your sister for goodness sake... i know you feel you and your husband have problems he's not meeting all your needs but why not just get divorced start a fresh with someone new go out and look for mr right not just try it on with your sisters husband cause he has shown you a little attention think of how that would hurt your poor sister, i know deep down you will do whats right here my advice to you honey would be end things with your husband if your so unhappy and go looking for a new man but don't go and have an affair with your sisters man thats simple out of order !
i hope my advice was able to help you a little :o) and i know you will make the right decision, let me know what you decide to do in the end ok ... if you ever need anymore advice a friend or even a shoulder to cry on don't hesitate to come and find me ok i'm always here for u ok
Take Care x :o)
...............................
|
