A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is working later and later every night. i hardly get to see him at all even though we live together, people are saying that he is cheating, he used to work later when he was with his ex, she later found out he was cheating. i dont know what to think anymore... help
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 One of the rreplys stated that your boyfriend is a sleaze. PAy no attention to those types of answers because they are worthless. Nobody here knows what your guy is doing. Time will tell. Talk to him, check it out for yourself. Nobody here knows though.
A
female
reader, userid  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Goodness,
I understand what you are going through...
Sweetie-all I can say...is go with your womanly intuition. We all have it, we just tend to ignore it when it is a situation involving ourselves. We then kick ourselves in the butt afterwards because we knew all along. I think you know already. What does your gut tell you? You know the patterns. When you started dating and living with one another...did he work late? Is this completely out of the blue or has it been going on for a while? When he sees you, is he just as affectionate? Or distant? Has he changed in any other part of the relationship? Is he taking showers more when he comes home? Look him in the eyes...much of the truth is in the eyes of any human being. Sitting him down may not do much because if he is cheating, he will typically lie. However ...you may want to test the waters. Sit down talk to him...you may be able to tell if he is lying. Do you have any people in mind that he may be cheating with?
Try not to let this consume your life...but know that eventually you'll get to the bottom of it. It may even reveal itself to you...
Let me know ow it goes. I hope I helped some.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
He might be cheating, he might be working hard because he is under a lot of pressure at work, or he might be working hard because he doesn't want to come home and spend time with you.
You should ask him about his work, because if he is just under a lot of pressure, he might want to talk. You could empathize - saying that you can see how hard he is working, is he happy about it? how long is it going to go on for? how does he feel?
If he is cheating or just doesn't want to spend time with you, you won't achieve much by worrying about it, or being difficult or possessive. But this doesn't mean that you should sit home twiddling your thumb, wondering when he's ever going to get home.
You deserve to have some idea of when he will be home. When you're talking to him about work, you should perhaps say that since he is working so hard, it's a bit dull for you at home, and so you're going to plan to see friends / go out for some new hobbies / go to salsa lessons or whatever during this phase. You could ask that he gives you a call during the evening to let you know when he might be home - should you wait for him for dinner, or what? You could ask that he keeps his moble phone on in the evening, so that you can give him a call if he is unusually late just to put your mind at rest that he is fine. And so on.
One way to tell whether your partner is mentally in the relationship or out of it, is to plan holidays. People who are cheating on you tend to have a hard time planning a future with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): wake up and see him for the sleaze that he really is he is a serial cheater get rid
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