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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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She insisted I am the one for her, now we're married but I found her messages to other men with sexual implications!
Q. i am a saved man, who is married to a womam who just can't seem to break a way from her lovers in the past. Before we married i told her that maybe God had someone else for her. She has persude me for 1 1/2 years telling me that i am the only man ...
A. 1 September 2007: You could tell her that she ALREADY did something that could end the marriage. That was behaving as she has done. Unfortunately, this falls back on you at this point.
You have to decide what the possibilities of this meeting actually were. W... (read in full...)
In love with my boyfriend but always seem to develop little "crushes" on other men!...
Q. I am currently in a relationship that has lasted for a few years. I am in love with my boyfriend so much but for some reason I always develop little "crushes" on other guys. Is this normal?!?! Or does this mean he's not the one for me??? Please ...
A. 31 August 2007: You'll always meet others who attract you. You have to decide when you want to stop chasing rainbows. It's just an attraction. There's no meat to that. Relationships are built, attractions are feelings that relationships grow from. Choose the ... (read in full...)
She insisted I am the one for her, now we're married but I found her messages to other men with sexual implications!
Q. i am a saved man, who is married to a womam who just can't seem to break a way from her lovers in the past. Before we married i told her that maybe God had someone else for her. She has persude me for 1 1/2 years telling me that i am the only man ...
A. 31 August 2007: What do the messages say? The reason I ask is because if you're looking at the messages from the view of a "saved" man, your interpretation might be off. Or, they might in fact be sexual messages. Sometimes saved people walk a pretty narrow and ... (read in full...)
I felt jealous, because I'd consider a date this invitation to lunch! Am I overreacting?
Q. Firstly, thanks for reading my question and would really appreciate any advices. I am quite confused at moment, do not know what to do. I am having relationship with this guy for almost 2 years and been living together. And before this, I had never ...
A. 31 August 2007: He probably feels attraction to many females. Attraction is a tricky word. It can mean to notice or to actually feel a pull toward someone. It's natural and you find other men attractive too. If he wants this woman then he's making a mistake. ... (read in full...)
I felt jealous, because I'd consider a date this invitation to lunch! Am I overreacting?
Q. Firstly, thanks for reading my question and would really appreciate any advices. I am quite confused at moment, do not know what to do. I am having relationship with this guy for almost 2 years and been living together. And before this, I had never ...
A. 30 August 2007: Who is she and how do they know eachother? That is important information.... (read in full...)
My hubby's jealousy has gotten worse since knowing about my affair 6 years ago; I'm afraid to leave him, as he'd kill me and my potential lover...
Q. My husband has always been really jealous. He's always wanting to fight with me and other people if I even talk to another guy. But it has gotten worse since he found out that I cheated on him with his best friend six years ago. We had not seen ...
A. 30 August 2007: Did you not this new information was worth sharing with the first question? When you ask a question, it's better to explain the entire situation. You've just added facts that are very important. ... (read in full...)
Should i be concerned about my guy and this girl?
Q. Okay what should I make of this? My b/f said he had to go out on a field trip with a female co-worker today. He had her come by our house and pick him up at 7:00 AM. This was a little weird, as he usually drives to work and employees take a field ...
A. 29 August 2007: I REALLY think you're over thinking this. I could be totally wrong but underwear never got in the way when a woman wanted to go down on me. If you're taking down the pants, the underwear comes down just as easily. If you want to twist it a ... (read in full...)
Should i be concerned about my guy and this girl?
Q. Okay what should I make of this? My b/f said he had to go out on a field trip with a female co-worker today. He had her come by our house and pick him up at 7:00 AM. This was a little weird, as he usually drives to work and employees take a field ...
A. 29 August 2007: What would he have to gain by not wearing underwear? ... (read in full...)
Where are all the honest men?
Q. This question is for all the guys, male, testosterone driven individuals. I have had bad experiences in my life with boyfriends. I have had the cheaters, liars, players, you name it. My current boyfriend happens to be a big liar. I am loosing my ...
A. 29 August 2007: Anybody who comes to a conclusion that there are no good men left is a moron. It is a ridiculous thing to say and is hopefully not meant to be taken seriously. There are plenty of good "people" all over the place. It's a matter of timing. If you ... (read in full...)
My hubby's jealousy has gotten worse since knowing about my affair 6 years ago; I'm afraid to leave him, as he'd kill me and my potential lover...
Q. My husband has always been really jealous. He's always wanting to fight with me and other people if I even talk to another guy. But it has gotten worse since he found out that I cheated on him with his best friend six years ago. We had not seen ...
A. 28 August 2007: Well.......you cheated on him with his friend. Let me see, he doesn't like that and you can't understand it. Maybe he picked up on your vibe of deceit. Maybe he thought you were too close to the friend and developed his jealousy based on those ... (read in full...)
How can I end my relationship with the married man I'm seeing?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for the past 11 months, at first it was going out for drinks and clubbing. He is working in my town and soon his job will be over. He stays here all week and goes home at weekends, which recently is becoming less ...
A. 28 August 2007: You may have found my letter harsh but the truth is you do sleep around. So does the guy you're with. You're sleeping around with another womans husband. If I missed something, please explain. Maybe he has other lovers too. Maybe his wife has ... (read in full...)
I have been with a married man for 6 years, am I wasting my time?
Q. Hi I have been in a relationship with a married man for six years now. He and his wife were having probs when we met. Eventually he told her about us and she moved out of the house. After a year though she has now moved back in as the kids live...
A. 28 August 2007: Yes, wake up !! You're half the problem in this mess. You can only take charge of your end. Don't forget, you're as guilty as he is of making this more complicated.... (read in full...)
Can't seem to stop looking through his e-mails, though my conscience bothers me as he's the best man I've known.
Q. I am in love, and have been for 2 years. but I have serious trust issues, I even see a therapist about my turst issues. I recently learned my boyfriends email passwords and have been looking in his email and its making me crazy. I can't stop. I ...
A. 28 August 2007: If you've found nothing to be worried about....stop looking and make note of your regret for snooping. Be happy you found nothing and move forward. You should be happy he's done nothing wrong. Is part of your issue that you look for ways to ... (read in full...)
Where are all the honest men?
Q. This question is for all the guys, male, testosterone driven individuals. I have had bad experiences in my life with boyfriends. I have had the cheaters, liars, players, you name it. My current boyfriend happens to be a big liar. I am loosing my ...
A. 28 August 2007: You're just having bad luck and need some encouragement. Nobody is perfect but there are lots of good guys around. I'm one....but I'm taken. Be positive and take your time. Stay out of bed and if the guy hangs around, he's better than most. ... (read in full...)
How can I end my relationship with the married man I'm seeing?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for the past 11 months, at first it was going out for drinks and clubbing. He is working in my town and soon his job will be over. He stays here all week and goes home at weekends, which recently is becoming less ...
A. 28 August 2007: I'll be blunt. You're moaning and groaning about somebody you don't even have a claim to. It's like a car thief complaining that that car he stole didn't have comfortable seats. The best thing to do is to realize what a terrible, rotten mess the ... (read in full...)
Moving to a new town, I find myself in minority! How do I immerse in a society I dislike?
Q. I just moved from NYC to a new town and I am really scared of trying to fit in here. I would love to have friends and have a life the problem is that people here are SO different to what I am used to. Please don't think I am a snob, but the only way ...
A. 27 August 2007: What type of minority are you?... (read in full...)
I found out my wife gave oral to her male friend, what should I do?
Q. Hi, not sure what to do about this. My wife (and now me over the years) has a friend Brian that she was friends with before me. I don't think I've actually specifically asked, but it was always assumed that they were just friends. My wife was a ...
A. 26 August 2007: Well that is tough news to hear. It's also not usually the type of information most women I know are so liberal with. I can't imagine what type of conversation they were having that would lead your wife to describe in such detail his penis ... (read in full...)
I have OCD. Anyone with some adivice out there?
Q. Im a teenager and i have ocd and im worried i did something wrong but when i think about it i dont think i have and my friend said i havnt either. Me and my ex-boyfriend was drunk i asked him to kiss me and we did and i felt him up just outside the ...
A. 26 August 2007: There is help available for OCD. Talk to someone in your life who you trust and is in a position to help you.... (read in full...)
My ex wants to meet up, she's with someone new but calls him boring. Should i meet up with her?
Q. Another EX-File... THE BACKROUND: I broke up with my GF of 1.5 years about four months ago. She made me feel like I was never doing enough for her no matter how hard I tried, or that her feelings of insecurity were my personal responsibility. ...
A. 26 August 2007: OK, you're wise and moral enough to write the question. Are you wise and moral enough to take your own advice. You haven't said to many good things abouther....and she has a boyfriend. Leave her alone. she sounds selfish and this is going ... (read in full...)
My guy doesnt seem to want me to swallow during oral, what are your thoughts?
Q. When giving oral pleasure, my man always makes me get out of the way when he is going to climax and not swallow. After he produces, he points to the wet spot and says, that it is gross. I don't feel that way. I think it is normal part of the act....
A. 26 August 2007: I tend to think that most men find it a huge turn on when a woman wants to swallow. Most probably don't swallow. It seems to be interpreted as a woman who's a little more liberal. He may happen to be one of the men who don't enjoy it. I had a ... (read in full...)
I have OCD. Anyone with some adivice out there?
Q. Im a teenager and i have ocd and im worried i did something wrong but when i think about it i dont think i have and my friend said i havnt either. Me and my ex-boyfriend was drunk i asked him to kiss me and we did and i felt him up just outside the ...
A. 26 August 2007: I may be able to help you. How old are you?... (read in full...)
Can I get diseases from someone who appeared to be clean?
Q. Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with. I didn't do anything to him. He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he...
A. 26 August 2007: There must be a clinic in your area run by the local government or health department you can visit. That's why they're there. Go to one of those. By the way, you probably are over thinking the problem. The main thing here is the difference ... (read in full...)
Are my girlfriends out of town work trips all work and no play or....?
Q. My girlfriend works out of our city and state most of the time. When she travels, she usually goes out with one of her co-workers, a guy her age who is single. I have noticed that there is genuine affection between them and this guy even kissed her ...
A. 25 August 2007: Be careful what you "notice". Sometimes we notice what suits our ideas and build a case around it. Does your girlfriend ever receive a kiss on the cheek from other people? If so, what is the difference?
The difference here is you don't like the... (read in full...)
Can I get diseases from someone who appeared to be clean?
Q. Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with. I didn't do anything to him. He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he...
A. 25 August 2007: You can't see a virus or germ. There is always a chance of catching something from someone. When was the last time you caught a cold? Who did you get it from and do you remember when they gave it to you? Of course not. Often when we do things ... (read in full...)
Are 'guidlines' ok in a relationship?
Q. Is it bad to have "Guidelines" in a relationship that the 2 people must abide by? If each one gives the other "rules", Is that a good thing or is that a sign of being controlling? ...
A. 24 August 2007: Most guidelines are common sense but it often helps to sort out the middle ground. If someone is dictating what, when and how yo should do things, then it could be a control issue. It depends on the details.
Your guy might not mind if you go o... (read in full...)
I don't want to be "that girl," but I really like a married man
Q. Two years ago, I met a guy who I ended up falling for. He had literally just got into a relationship, so I didn't try anything, and I certainly didn't say anything about how I felt about him. His girlfriend ended up getting pregnant- so they ended ...
A. 24 August 2007: You are a good person with morals? While that may be true in some areas of your life, you have a huge character flaw in this department. I understand you're interested in this guy and there's chemistry. That is obvious. If I'm going to see the ... (read in full...)
Quick question, women have a lady doctor or a gynaecologist, who do men go to to check their privates?
Q. Quick question, women have a lady doctor or a gynaecologist, who do men go to to check their privates?...
A. 24 August 2007: A Private Eye.......or a urologist.... (read in full...)
Quick question, women have a lady doctor or a gynaecologist, who do men go to to check their privates?
Q. Quick question, women have a lady doctor or a gynaecologist, who do men go to to check their privates?...
A. 24 August 2007: A Private Eye.... (read in full...)
Is it okay for him to say I have to stay home when he goes out by himself all the time??
Q. Who is in the wrong? My fiance is gone for a week and so I went out to a bar last night by myself. He always goes to bars by himself, but yet he got really mad at me. He said that he didn't want to be with a girl who does that. He told me to ...
A. 21 August 2007: I agree with RJGirl. He can't hold you to standards he doesn't hold himself to. He'll try though. You see as a man, the hunter, he's not worried about himself cheating because he won't pursue any females. He's out there in the jungle and he's ... (read in full...)
Why does she not want sex so much? Do I just don't do it for her any more?
Q. Ok, I'll get right to the point. I've been with my girlfriend over 8 months now, and in the beginning we had sex almost every night. Sometimes I'd initiate it, sometimes she would. Sometimes she'd want it so bad she'd stop me from falling asleep. ...
A. 21 August 2007: Hmmm, you both worked in an adult store. I find that interesting because 99% of the population would never even consider working there. I think it says something about your attitudes toward sex. That in turn confuses me about what is actually ... (read in full...)
What men find so interesting about spending hour after hour, night after night, at the pub?
Q. Hi. This is one for the men really. My female friend asked me what men find so interesting about spending hour after hour, night after night, at the pub? Are they looking for opportunities to be unfaithful? Perhaps some guys could answer this ...
A. 21 August 2007: I like to go for a beer. I don't cheat on my wife though. It's just as easy, or easier, to cheat with someone at work. It depends on the person. People don't launch themselves at anybody. They usually start flattering each other and then they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going on a camping trip and I would like to join him
Q. I have just found out that my boyfriend's best friend has planned a camping trip and I don't think my boyfriend knows that I know. My boyfriend normally goes every year (it's on different dates each time) but we had split up for a year and have not ...
A. 21 August 2007: I still say that you should find out who's going and then ask questions.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars?
Q. Is it normal for girls to go out by themselves to bars? My fiance travels a lot (some for business and most for fun). Whenever he travels he goes to bars by himself.... in fact, that's how he met me when he had a girlfriend. We never cheated though. ...
A. 20 August 2007: First, the line about the female role sound like it was taken out of context and I'd like to hear the rest of that conversation,
The reason you're not having fun is because you went out in a resentful frame of mind. You're not going out to have ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you paranoid?
Q. Am I the only one that finds that dearcupid makes me paranoid reading about all the different questions people ask(cheating with bosses, having sex with brothers and sisters etc) Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you ...
A. 20 August 2007: What this site does is expose many angles to issues. As for being paranoid, that is determined by whether or not you can figure out the difference between potential and probable problems......could your girlfriend leave you, potentially. Is it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going on a camping trip and I would like to join him
Q. I have just found out that my boyfriend's best friend has planned a camping trip and I don't think my boyfriend knows that I know. My boyfriend normally goes every year (it's on different dates each time) but we had split up for a year and have not ...
A. 20 August 2007: Ask him if his friends partner is going. If she's not and he doesn't invite you, he wants to go alone. That doesn't make him bad either. Why is it so important for you to go? If everybody was bring a partner and he left you out, that would be ... (read in full...)
He has double standards! What do I do?
Q. What is wrong with me? My fiance is on a trip for a week without me by himself, and goes to bars/dance clubs by himself which bothers me. Yet, if I go to bars by myself he thinks it's weird. I hate the double standard, but I don't have the guts to ...
A. 20 August 2007: First, let me say I've got a little experience in this. You're bothered because he's out in bars, most likely socializing and meeting new people. I'm sure it's not the fact he's going out, it's the fact he's meeting females. You're concerned he's ... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid about this number on my boyfriend's cellphone?
Q. i saw a girls in my b/f's phone and i asked him who it was..and he said it was a customer from a couple of weeks ago, the one that kept having trouble..and he said i can delete it. He said it was a 50 year old woman with an 18 year old son....So i ...
A. 19 August 2007: Why are you searching his phone in the first place?... (read in full...)
I would be interested in hearing peoples views on the inconsistancy that seems to be EVERYWHERE through the bible!
Q. This question is not so much about relationships but I am studying religious studies in college and I'm finding it fascinating! My friend is part of a pentacostal church and it's ridiculous. If anyone has seen that church scene in Borat it is just ...
A. 18 August 2007: The concept of religion is interesting. Unfortunately the world seems to be full of hypocrisy. Many people latch on to religion and use it as a crutch. I believe anytime a person becomes a fundamentalist in any belief system, they tend to have ... (read in full...)
How do I confront her about this guy she's been calling without sounding like I've been spying!?
Q. My wife started acting secretive so my curiousity kicked in to investigate what is going on. I found an odd number on her phone logs. I investigated it because of the odd time of the call. I found the # to be that of a guy she made a call to. I got ...
A. 17 August 2007: IT comes down tot he worse of the two evils...spying or cheating. So you tell her how much you love her and that you've been sensing something was off. Tell her you looked at her phone records and what you discovered. But, what did you actually ... (read in full...)
The guy i am seeing has a pregnant girlfriend, what should i do?
Q. I've been seeing a lad that I've really started to like but he also has a girlfriend but the real problem is she's pregnant now but I started seeing him before we knew this but by that time I really really liked him, it all got too much for me the ...
A. 12 August 2007: The problem isn't that she's pregnant. The problem is you and him have no integrity. You're both up to no good. THAT is the problem............If you know it's bad, why are you doing it? ... (read in full...)
Feeling odd after boyfriend told me about three some three years ago. Please help!
Q. Hi - My boyfriend who I've known for 18 months told me about something he did about 7 years ago which has left me feeling really odd towards him. He said he'd been out drinking with two female friends and a male friend. Three of them went back to ...
A. 12 August 2007: Ok, he went back to the woman's house with his friend. He got some "pretty serious action in a threesome", although he didn't have sex with the woman.....So am I to understand he had sex with the guy? Who did he have action with?
Also, why are ... (read in full...)
I would be interested in hearing peoples views on the inconsistancy that seems to be EVERYWHERE through the bible!
Q. This question is not so much about relationships but I am studying religious studies in college and I'm finding it fascinating! My friend is part of a pentacostal church and it's ridiculous. If anyone has seen that church scene in Borat it is just ...
A. 15 July 2007: WE had this discussion last night. I have a difficult time with the bible or any other religious book. I see the goodness in all of them. They all have a common thread of goodness. The negativity begins when people start splitting hairs. There ... (read in full...)
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