A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Have been seeing a guy for about 6 weeks and really like him. I thought everything was going great until he left his mobile in the bathroom and I had a quick look at his messages. I know this was wrong but I really didn't think I'd find anything. I was shocked when I found messages from two different girls whom from what I can make out he has at least kissed them but then seemed to call it off or not see them again. We haven't discussed monogamy so maybe I was just kidding myself although he has been telling me he really likes me. Not sure what to do or how to approach situation. Please help. Feel sick about whole thing and also guilty for looking. (curiosity definately kills the cat). Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mesoreal +, writes (15 July 2007):
Reading someones telephone text, email, voice messages, etc is a boundary violation. In your case, you suspected something and confirmed it. I have done the same thing, verified my suspicions and moved on. I suggest you do the same. Next time, tell the guy what you want before sleeping with him
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (15 July 2007):
Six weeks is not a long time and everything depends on how much you've seen each other. If you're really interested in him, stake your claim and make it official.
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A
female
reader, LynstHolin +, writes (15 July 2007):
If you and he never discussed being monogamous, he may figure that you are both still dating around. After all it's only been a month and a half. In school, that's a long-term relationship, but not when you're in your thirties. I know it's hard to be so direct, but you need to talk to him about the status f your relationship.
Oh, and don't tell him about peeping at his messages right now--a year or so from now, he may find it humorous, but if you tell him now... not so much.
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