A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a slightly odd problem. I love my gf very much and i'm pretty sure that she loves me back. But i feel very insecure in our relationship and i need her to tell me that she loves me quite often. I also interpret a lot of things she does as signs of not loving me. For example, if i text her and she doesn't reply, I start to feel that she doesn't care about me. Also, she has a lot of guy friends and i kinda get jealous when she spends time with them. I love this girl very much and don't want to lose her cos of my insecurities so i badly need help. All feedback will be appreciated.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 July 2007):
 I like the reply from bitterblue, if you continue this way you'll feel the pain more than the love. Those are very wise words. Enjoy what you have because if you ruin it, someone else will take your spot.
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (12 July 2007):
I like the reply from bitterblue, if you continue this way you'll feel the pain more than the love. Those are very wise words. Enjoy what you have because if you ruin it, someone else will take your spot.
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A
female
reader, flyingskirt  +, writes (12 July 2007):
sweetie, distance does not mean rejection, so stop taking it that way. you're being waaay too clingy. you're definitely on the path to losing her. back off and work on your insecurities.
i dated a really insecure guy and he didnt let up on me for 7 years. every day he wanted assurance from me and every day i tried so hard to give it to him. it never worked, and in the 8th year i finally learned i could never be his source of security. it's a personal thing that comes from within. insecurity is a personal problem that follows you into all future relationships until you take steps and work to get rid of it. you HAVE to stop looking to her for it, and you HAVE to find that within yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): You admitted the problem, one step to fighting against it. Just her postponing a reply shouldn't make you feel insecure, it could be she's simply cannot do it at the moment you wish. If you cling to every sign you find odd you'll soon feel the pain more than love. What you can do, however is to let her know how you feel when she does something special, which can encourage her to do it more often. It is for both of you a learning experience and you can share how you feel and what you like. Why not, you can even suggest a game, "when do you feel loved" - when spending more time together, when approaching certain topics, when the other adopts a certain attitude, or says "I love you". Talk about how each of you view the/a relation. What can be normal for her you can misinterpret as a sign of distance if you don't communicate to know.
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A
male
reader, Cag Lee "Apollo" Adarma  +, writes (12 July 2007):
 Hey bud,been there and done that with terrible results so let me level with you.firstly,You have insecurities, probably deep seated from past events, and the fact that you acknowledge them is a cliched but GOOD first step. At least your not acting out and 'not sure' why.Secondly, there is no getting 'rid' of them only learning to cope with them. This isn;t something i would discuss with your gf but something your going to have to come to grips with, is that life is not one of certainty.You want to be 100% sure that she loves you and will do so forever, but noone can promise that and thats what makes the whole experience of love or dating so insane.the love/care's forever starts TODAY, the idea is to live within the moment care for her and love her in the moment.The other guys can be tough but she's WITH YOU and you can;t be that insecure because you must have had big enough cahonas to ask her out in the first place.Live for the moment, champ, and you'll be fine!PeaceThe Capt
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