A
male
age
30-35,
*ndreC.
writes:Hey my name is Andrew.I am currently in a Long distance relationship my girlfreind is in Canada and I am in Portugal.We have been 9 months apart so far and i will be back Oct1st 2007.We were recently talking about fights that we were having because we always get into fights everytime she goes out with her friends and we had been fighting for the past week well,yesterday we were talking and she said that she didnt want to lose me and that she wants us to work out so she said that this saturday(tommorow)that it will be the last day of july that she is going to go out with her friends and then she said that next month she only wants to go out once with her friends.I right away told her that i dnt want her doing this for me and that i dont want to rush her into anything because i dont wanna feel responsible for her saying this.She then said that obviously she is doing this for me and she said shes doing it becuase she doesnt want to fight and that she loves me and doesnt want us to fall apart. Now my question is do you think she will eventually get out of control and this will cause us more problems in the long run??(sry for the long question and I love this site!)
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male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Andrew, I have been where you are now, so I will share with you my experience. I am in a relationship with a woman from London, I live in Texas. I met her while working in the persian gulf. We met and hit it off immediately, we spent every night together(her friends didn't like that). We dated for 3 months, I spent time in London 2 weeks, she spent time in Texas 10 days. I asked her to marry me in January after I met her in October. The longest time we have been apart is 6 weeks. I tell you this because I set a timeline for myself, if we weren't together within 6 month, I mean spending a majority of our time together, I was going to call it off. I knew that it I would not be able to live with myself and be in a relationship like that. I knew that it would consume me and I would have a hard time functioning every day. I know myself is my point. Long distance relationships are very difficult, one of the hardest "self torturing" things you can do. Let me guess, you're wondering if she's dating other men or even thinking about it. You are so far away, there is nothing you can do about what she does or doesn't do. Have you asked her to marry you? Does she have a ring on her finger? If the answer in no, then you have to let her go do what she needs to do. If you have no real plans of being together for a long term committment, then don't expect her to be exclusive, and don't expect to be exclusive either. If you do see her again, then just enjoy the time you have when you are together, treat her like a Queen, and make love to her like no other man ever could. Sorry for the long answer.
A
female
reader, JessAgonyAunt  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Heya, your girlfriend needs to see her friends and go out, otherwise she will loose control, my mum used to always complain that my dad didn't let her go out much,she is in a diffrent country at the moment so why doesn't she want to go out? she must feel pretty lonely. Maybe you could try taking her to diffrent places when you go back to Portugal, you could arrange a night out with your friends and her friends.GOOD LUCKJESS XXXX
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Yo've posted this question at least 3 ties in the past week. What's going on?
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