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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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How can I get him to trust me again?
Q. my boyfriend is leaving me because he cant trust me anymore. he saw a comment i left for an ex on myspace although we are just friends and have been friends for years. we dated about 6 years ago. my current boyfriend didnt want me to keep in touch ...
A. 29 July 2007: I think you already posted this question. One thing you didn't mention was the message you left your ex. What was it?... (read in full...)
I'm an attention seeker and don't know how to change?
Q. My bf says im an attention seeker and this hurts me, although I guess I know its actually true. I cant stand him talking to other people when we are out together, so I "sulk" to get his attention. If I ever feel like hes not giving me enough...
A. 29 July 2007: You need to develop some self esteem. You can not demand his attention all the time. You'll suffocate him and resent him when he's with others. You need to be happy with yourself as opposed to getting it from him.
Why do you resent it when ... (read in full...)
I think I'm acting normal, but he thinks I'm cheating!
Q. Am I jealous or is my fiance jealous? My fiance always says that I get jealous. If getting a little angry and annoyed if he checks out and acts differently around attractive blondes is jealous then maybe I am. But isn't he jealous when I go out to a ...
A. 29 July 2007: It's not uncommon to be a little jealous. I know that when my wife is somewhere, there will be men who try to talk to her. As hard as it might be, she can handle herself. This is the time when I need to feel secure. Yes, there are better ... (read in full...)
I'm craving the affection my husband doesn't give me and have been offered it from my first love; what should I do?
Q. I get no affection from my husband at all. We have been married 15 years. Recently I came in contact with my first love.I want to see him really badly. I'm not sure if this is the thing I should do since I have been getting alot of effection from my ...
A. 29 July 2007: Even though you've talked to your husband you don't have the right to cheat. That will make it worse. If you want our of the marriage, leave. Do it properly so you can hold your head up high. Why on earth would you want to be a rotten adulterer? ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I'll become bored with my marriage; can anyone give me hope about this?
Q. Are there any married couples out there that don't find their relationships boring? And if so, how many years have you been together? I've been married once, and boredom set in rather quickly. I'm heading down the isle with #2 pretty soon, and I ...
A. 29 July 2007: Things do become routine. Everything we do for a long period of time becomes monotonous. Even Hollywood types eventually lose the attraction to the lime light. We believe though, since we're talking about love, that euphoria won't end. It ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's upset that I slept with someone while we were on a break! How can we both deal with this?
Q. My boyfriend and I started dating about four years ago. Over a year ago, we decided to end things, or take a break, because of pressure and disapproval from family and friends. We've since worked through those obstacles and are now closer than ever. ...
A. 28 July 2007: You really don't "owe" him an explanation or apology. Curiosity killed the cat in this case. Perhaps he didn't sleep with anybody while you were apart and now feels like he missed a chance. Perhaps he feels like you got away with one and he's in ... (read in full...)
She slept with someone else before we started dating, but I can't get it off my mind!
Q. Here is my story. Back in September when I started college I met this girl- a roommate of my close friend. At the beginning I didnt think she liked me and I have been going through life without paying attention to crushes, nor was I in a hurry to ...
A. 28 July 2007: No, you were the first choice and you were not receptive to her. Remember that.
eddie... (read in full...)
I saw a suspicious message on my wife's phone but she swears there's nothing in it; how can I trust her?
Q. hi i'm having trouble with my wife, she doesnt live in the states she lives with my son currently 2thousand miles away, i saw a message on her cell phone from a guy friend of hers saying love you horney. and since then i have trouble trusting her, ...
A. 28 July 2007: It's important to hear why she got the message. Then, you have to try and believe it's nothing or....? Who knows? Most of us don't say that to just anyone.... (read in full...)
I'm married-he's married. I am having his baby..should I allow him in the baby's life?
Q. I'm married, he's married, and now i'm having his baby should I allow him to be in his baby's life? We met at work and I thing lead to another that we starting seeing each other and having a sexaul relationship in May of 2006 We are both married...
A. 27 July 2007: I'm really amazed that you feel you have the authority to decide if a man can see his child. Maybe you should give the baby to him and he can decide if you get to see the child. Do you see what I mean? It's a sad situation you two created but ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get him back after breaking the trust more than once?
Q. My boyfriend just recently found out that I was still communicating with an ex I dated years ago. There is nothing between us but I promised not to keep contact with him more than once and this was the final straw. My boyfriend says he can't trust ...
A. 27 July 2007: I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I would wonder why my partner chose to keep in touch with an ex. I don't know if that makes me weak, but I know I would wonder.
Even after you said you wouldn't do it anymore, knowing it bothered... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch.
Q. My girlfriend has a fetish of another guy eating out her bush while I watch. She wants me to go down on her friend while she watches. I don't mind watching another guy going down on my girl but the question I have is should I let one of my friends ...
A. 27 July 2007: Leave it in your heads. You're opening up Pandora's box. (I hope that's not her name)... (read in full...)
She slept with someone else before we started dating, but I can't get it off my mind!
Q. Here is my story. Back in September when I started college I met this girl- a roommate of my close friend. At the beginning I didnt think she liked me and I have been going through life without paying attention to crushes, nor was I in a hurry to ...
A. 27 July 2007: It's very important that you do manage to get over this. You are judging her, like it or not. I'll agree that nobody really enjoy the thought of their lady being sexual with another man but.......what can you do? It says nothing about her as a ... (read in full...)
I love her, but I'm not in love. Should I stay, or should I end it with her?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a very sweet woman for almost 2 years now. It's the same old cliche: I love her but I'm not "in love" with her. I care for her very much, but i've never felt "in love" with her or felt any deep passion for this ...
A. 27 July 2007: Did you ever try to work on the relationship you have. If you love her there is hope. If she has value to you as a person then there is hope for the relationship. You did feel the spark when you bumped into the other lady. That tells me it still ... (read in full...)
How do I break up with someone I care about?
Q. Is there any advise out there on how to breakup with someone? I know that i should break up with a person i've been dating for quite sometime, but i still really care for her and the idea of hurting her pains me. Of course i'm sure we'll both ...
A. 27 July 2007: Hopefully there is nobody else on th side lines. If there is, you can't break up tactfully because the truth will eventually come out.
If that is not the case, be honest (tactfully) and make yourself understood. Let her know it's your feeling ... (read in full...)
My boss and I slept together, and now I don't know what he's thinking!
Q. Oh God.. I dont know where to start... I been working with this guy for about for years. He is my boss. He is pretty hot and he knows it. He is married too. Well... I never really considered the posibility that he may be attracted to me. Well... I ...
A. 27 July 2007: Don't be a martyr. Dr. Pete is correct. This guy will start to cry on your shoulder, you'll feel like you can save his sorry life and before you know it you'll be in his bed a few times a week. You should have more respect for yourself. You ... (read in full...)
I keep hearing the same promises from my husband, but they never follow through!
Q. Ok, so I've been with my husband for 10 years; we've always had our problems like every other couple. But the last two years have been hell. Both for myself and my children. Well i've told my husband that I'm through with this relationship and am ...
A. 27 July 2007: It sounds like your husband does not like himself. You don't say if he actually went to therapy or not. If he hasn't, try first. It sounds like he hurts inside.
... (read in full...)
I'm having feelings for someone else and i don't know what to do.
Q. Hi, I'll try and keep this as brief as possible, but I would sincerely appreciate any advice anyone could offer. I am 24 years old and have been in a relationship with an absolutely wonderful guy for 5 years. He is the type of person you would de...
A. 26 July 2007: Well, let me say your friendship is no longer platonic. You're attracted to him and thinking about making a significant life change because of that. I dont suggest you spend any time alone with him. You're in a vulnerable state of mind. That ... (read in full...)
I feel this amazing attraction to this guy, like a lightning bolt
Q. Hi, I'm 33 and attached. I recently met a man who is also attached. It was clear we were very strongy attracted to each other immediately, but being "attached" we kept a certain amount of distance between each other. Then one night we happened to ...
A. 26 July 2007: Caution !!! NEVER sit down with that guy and discuss what happened. So far it's a possible mutual attraction. SO WHAT !! Being attracted to someone is NORMAL. Expanding on it, flirting or stepping over the boundary is another thing. Talking to ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but not the sex.
Q. Hi i am a 32 year old woman married for 12 year to the only man i have ever been with we have 2 children. All my friends fancy him and probably think we have a excellent sex life but the truth is i think its not. I went out with some friends a couple...
A. 26 July 2007: I'd like to add one thing. I don't know about all women, but why did it only ever occur to you at the age of 30 - 35 that you'd never had an orgasm. Didn't it ever cross your mind? I'd say that sex has possibly never been that important to you, ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but not the sex.
Q. Hi i am a 32 year old woman married for 12 year to the only man i have ever been with we have 2 children. All my friends fancy him and probably think we have a excellent sex life but the truth is i think its not. I went out with some friends a couple...
A. 26 July 2007: The grass is greenest where you water it. Work on your marriage and the partner you have. Communicate with him, seriously. As for only 30 percent of women having orgasms...I think that's low. Maybe from intercourse, but orally, I'd think it was ... (read in full...)
Should i ask her about her past sexual experiences?
Q. I started dating this girl about 5 weeks ago. We just met this summer and we started dating about a month after we met. The relationship has been great so far and she's the first girl I have ever loved and she says I am the first guy she has love...
A. 26 July 2007: OK, here's my sarcastic answer, tell me if it sounds good.....Yes, you should worry. Try to worry about it as much as possible. That will make you feel terrible and really get under her skin. You'll be miserable and nobody will want to be around ... (read in full...)
I feel this amazing attraction to this guy, like a lightning bolt
Q. Hi, I'm 33 and attached. I recently met a man who is also attached. It was clear we were very strongy attracted to each other immediately, but being "attached" we kept a certain amount of distance between each other. Then one night we happened to ...
A. 26 July 2007: Well, you're really not being truthful with yourself. Something has happened. You've spent more time with this guy since the first meeting at that party. I'd bet my last dollar you were flirting too. So, in a sense, you are nurturing an ... (read in full...)
My jealousy and pettyness ruined one wonderful relationship, and now is threatening another! How do I stop this?
Q. Hi there,, Ive read many of the posts and can relate to many of the tales of horrible all consuming jealousy, and Im amazed and ashamed that I actually feel a little bit better reading these posts and in some way feel close to you all, just today I ...
A. 26 July 2007: The good news is you've discovered that the problem is yours. That is the first step in the right direction. It sounds like you need to talk to a therapist. Nobody here will be able to give you specific answers to your problem.
This is quite co... (read in full...)
We are married and both bisexual and want to pursue others.
Q. I am a married bisexual woman to another bisexual man. Recently, we spent some time with a girlfriend of mine (non-sexual girlfriend); we have a few drinks, and then next thing I know, we are playing strip poker and her and I are making out. The ...
A. 26 July 2007: Well you've already discovered the problems of an open relationship. That didn't take long did it? Yo said you discussed your bisexuality over the next few days and decided it was OK to pursue other people. He did just that.
It sounds like he ... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 26 July 2007: Everyone has different standards of what is considered acceptable. If you agree with that then you either accept your girlfriend for all that she is or leave her alone. What you're doing now is punishing her with your judgment for something she ... (read in full...)
I cant get him interested in sex, I've cheated twice! Now what!?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend/partner for nearly 6 years and we have lived together for the last 4. I am a highly sexually charged person and for the first year or so our love making was very good (I have had better in the past but t...
A. 25 July 2007: I'd like to reply. Please don't make any more advances on your partner. The anonymous poster states "while STD's can be a problem, I understand why you cheated as I'm sure you're feeling undesirable and depressed". Yes, it's safe to say STD's can ... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 25 July 2007: You missed my point. How would you feel to be judged because you had pre-maritial sex? You set your own standards, you have to live and die by them. It's your choice. She may not be the girl for you.... (read in full...)
I hate my GF's past, Im feeling I should do similarly bad things so I'm not so superior to her, will this work!?
Q. My current girlfriend and I are both college graduates and young professionals in our mid-twenties. We have been together for just over six months. Our romance was nearly perfect for the first two and a half months and I was convinced that "she was ...
A. 25 July 2007: Ok, if she was wrong to experiment before you came along, how would you like to change the past? What could she do. Why do you want to crucify her.
Here's a scenario for you.... Let's say she can't erase the past enough for you and you break up... (read in full...)
I cant get him interested in sex, I've cheated twice! Now what!?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend/partner for nearly 6 years and we have lived together for the last 4. I am a highly sexually charged person and for the first year or so our love making was very good (I have had better in the past but t...
A. 25 July 2007: Well, you should have split up then. Now, you've created a scenario where you've cheated. Twice in one week. That is terrible.
Unfortunately you made a bigger problem before you fixed the original issue. I can only tell you what you should h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said 'hey baby' affectionately on the phone to a female co-worker and when I called him on it, said I was just jealous
Q. Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years and we have a 7 month old son. Just yesterday he called a female that he worked with to sort out a scheduling conflict. I was thumbing through a magazine when he says, "Hey Baby!" I looked up ...
A. 25 July 2007: WAIT people, don't jump to conclusions. He may have a very jovial type relationship with this woman. Maybe they were joking. Maybe it's not appropriate but to say they're cheating is a little premature.... (read in full...)
Did my girlfriend go on a "date" with this other guy?
Q. My gf was out of town and went out to dinner, then to a bar and then to a movie with a male coworker her age and single. Is this a date? hint: they have partied before...
A. 25 July 2007: OK, I'll assume they were out of town together on business....? If they were, what were her options? Go out to dinner by herself, followed by a night in the room, by herself? Or, go out to eat with another "person" who's she's traveling with, the ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to want to be his first priority? I don't get the emotional support I crave
Q. I asked a question on the 17th of July about what I should do about the situation I have with my boyfriend of 2 years that is not tending to my emotional needs. I got some great advice, thank you! My situation unfortunately still stands. I am trying ...
A. 25 July 2007: I totally agree with AuntyEm. It also sounds like yo keep a mental score of what you do for him,expecting him to return the favor. Unfortunately for people who don't feel worthy, like you in this situation, you've become accustomed to feeling ... (read in full...)
My parents signed forms claiming custody of my kids so they could go to school in their district; now they won't let me have my kids back because they don't like my new partner's nationality
Q. I have had very controlling parents all of my life. I now have two children ages 10 and 15. In 2005 my children were attending a school that was in my parents school district. The principal found out and would not let my children go back to school ...
A. 25 July 2007: I'd say you need to see a lawyer. I don't know what your relationship with them is but it sounds strange. If you were "just" making school arrangements when you did the custody transfer, why did they even mention anything about "not to worry they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started shouting and swearing at me a lot and basically doesn't want me to express my opinion
Q. My live-in boyfriend of about 1.5 years has lately just started raging, calling me a f**king stupid bitch c**t, when i say something he doesnt want to hear. (like, "i thought you paid that bill".) he says its because i am giving him bitch tone or ...
A. 25 July 2007: Is he always this way or is tis new behaviour? I've never called my wife those things (out loud). If you're buying the house, then it's yours too, not just his. Make sure you get it all on paper.
Sit down and talk to him about his anger. ... (read in full...)
I started sleeping with a girl I really like while her boyfriend was away; he's coming back and she doesn't want to see me as often. What should I do?
Q. A few months ago, i became friendly with a local girl who moved over here. She was stunningly good looking and way out of my league, and i found out she had a boyfriend who'd gone to australia for a year. But as we became friends i found out she ...
A. 25 July 2007: You don't want to be second choice. Well...you were second to arrive. She wasn't looking. You knew that and tried to change things. Now you're belly aches because you've realized that you opened a can of worms. Worms stink !
Leave her alon... (read in full...)
My married lover's guilt is getting to her; should I try to see her or give her space?
Q. Hi guys, been seeing a married work colleague, whos marriage is seriously not fulfilling for her. Know we both shouldent but fancy each other like crazy. She is suffering with guilty concience and i am too believe it or not and its made us both ill...
A. 25 July 2007: You're living in a dream. I guess it's become reality but you paint a noble picture, almost like you're a martyr. You are actually a trouble maker and have no business in this scenario. Someone who is truly concerned about someone else trys to ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to pay for sex as long as you're very careful?
Q. I am male, who is mssing sex. is it okay to pay for a shag, as long s you are very careful.....
A. 25 July 2007: Actually, having a one night stand with someone is risky...BUT...in my opinion not as risky as someone who has sex for a living, 7 days a week. Think about the numbers involved there.
If she's OK with it, I question the judgment of both of you.... (read in full...)
His horoscope said 'an ex is back'! How much validity do you think this has?
Q. Things have been going beautifully between my b/f and I for the past few months, after much stress over an ex-girlfriend that took him 4 years to get over because he insisted on remaining friends with her, even though she's manipulative, intrusive ...
A. 24 July 2007: none... (read in full...)
My Russian girlfriend is going away on holiday with another guy
Q. Hi, I have a Russian girlfriend who is about to go away on holiday with a male long term friend! Do you think that I should be cool about this? ...
A. 24 July 2007: No, I wouldn't be OK with it. How did yo meet your girlfriend? Was it over the internet?... (read in full...)
She's meeting me for lunch - does she actually like me or just think I'm a nice guy?
Q. Does she like me? Some people may have seen previous posts about me and a relationship break-up that has been really tough. I'm hoping for a bright new future and being a little out of practice on the dating side wondered if I could have a few ti...
A. 24 July 2007: I meant you were putting the cart before the horse as far as wondering what her intentions are. Think about that after the date. Of course there is some interest on her part, If there wasn't, she wouldn't go out. This only stands to reason, if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes out with his buddies and dances with other women
Q. im always uneasy about my boyfriend going out with his guy friends and brother. they are all single and he is the only one with a girlfriend. i dont see why i cant come along when his guy friends are interested in going out to dance with and meet ...
A. 24 July 2007: If he's out with his friends and he's dancing with a group because it's part of the scene, it's one thing. If he's out hunting for women to dance with, it's another.
Innocent is when you're group meets some others and everybody is hanging ... (read in full...)
She's meeting me for lunch - does she actually like me or just think I'm a nice guy?
Q. Does she like me? Some people may have seen previous posts about me and a relationship break-up that has been really tough. I'm hoping for a bright new future and being a little out of practice on the dating side wondered if I could have a few ti...
A. 24 July 2007: It sounds to me with all the silly, light hearted texting that she's interested. Why would you worry about what her goals are when you haven't even gone out yet? Youre putting the cart before the horse. You met her, you liked her, you played the ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to pay for sex as long as you're very careful?
Q. I am male, who is mssing sex. is it okay to pay for a shag, as long s you are very careful.....
A. 14 July 2007: I don't have a problem with the idea but think about it. Break down the process.
You pay for sex with your hard earned money.
You take your clothes off in front of a stranger who doesn't like yo and wished you were not there.
You ... (read in full...)
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