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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): I agree that there isn't a time when a guy should ever hit a girl in an unprovoked situation. But girls can do some hitting and provoking on their own. I've got several male friends who have been charged/arrested/jailed for physically abusing their girlfriends. They're all "domestic abusers" with criminal records and compromised social reputations for it. The "poor women" in their lives usually never have any history of violence and they're well-known for being total victims.There's just one problem with the story -- I think I've personally witnessed EVERY ONE OF THESE GUYS get the living crap knocked out of them by their women after no physical provocation. And most of the time the guys didn't retaliate (and hardly even defended themselves for that matter) for fear of even more jail time.Physical violence goes both ways.
A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 violence from either a boy or girl is bad
if a girl is hitting him first then a boy SHOULD NOT hit him back
even if she is antogonizing him, doesn't mean he's right to hit her... it just means SHE's wrong
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A
female
reader, baby doll  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 no simply no
iv been in an abusive relasionship sadly it ended with me in hospital before i saw whet he was really like. there is no time when a woman or a man deserves to be abused or violated in anyway that is degrading mentaly or physicaly. i still hate the guy who hit me more than any thing in this world, i still have nightmears and both physical and mental scars that will never heal i still dont trust men so no hitting women is not only wrong but the sigh on a cowerd. and dont belive him if he says "sorry he'll never do it again" thay always do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Yea i dont think a dude sould hit a girl back at all...I am with my boyfriend and i hit him all the time when im upset "wich i shouldnt" But he trows me around and pushes me and he is a lot bigger then me, so i think he is able to hold me down or something small like that. No man should hit or even push a girl if hes stronger. (because some girls are bigger and stronger lol) But what i really mean is a girl shouldnt hit a guy but if she dose a guuy should just leave her or walk away.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 If the girl is hitting him first then no that is not abuse. Violent abuse is where one side hits the other for what ever reason or no reason at all.
It's not very fair to say girls can hit guys but when a guy hits a girl its abuse. No sex should hit the other sex for no reason!
xxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): The definitive answer is NO.
Violence should not be tolerated from either side.
Women have the knack of verbally sorting things out anyway!
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): People should not harm each other. I don't care what kind of plumbing is between your legs you don't strike unless you are in danger. Many people have brought up to idea to just leave. Unfortunately that isn't always possible. If someone is angry enough to try to hurt you then they will also try to keep you from getting away. Another thing is that subduing someone can leave bruising which can land the person that was defending in trouble. Someone also mentioned that men are more likely to abuse. The main problem with this is that many times when a man reports abuse he is either not believed or he is laughed at. Just as in some countries rape victims are intimidated from reporting based on their culture. The circumstances maybe slightly different but the result of under reporting is the same. Also in the example given it is assumed that both people are using only their hands. In real life women are more likely to use a weapon against a man. Self defense to me is only a poor substitute for people not hitting each other to begin with.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (16 July 2007):
A girl hiting a guy is JUST AS BAD as a guy hiting a girl.I know there is this perception in society that for a guy to hit a girl its bad and considered abuse but for a girl to hit a guy its somehow accepted as ok, probably because girls are generaly weaker. But the fact remains that it IS abuse on BOTH sides. Its abuse from the girl and from the guy.
First off the girl shouldnt be hitting the guy in the first place ok? You should treat others how YOU want to be treated. So if you are going to hit someone, your sending the message to them that you accept the act of violence, therefor allowing them to hit you back, and you are also allowing them to use the excuse that it was self defense.
In conclusion, its wrong for the girl and for the guy to hit. Abuse can be just as emotioanly scaring to the guy as it can to the girl.
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A
female
reader, kristinakutie  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 there is NEVER EVER a reason for hitting in a relationship.. and if the case is the that the woman is hitting the guy, then guys, dont hit them back.. cuz its only you who will end up getting into to trouble, because how many guys do you think will admit to having a woman hit them.. or if they do, how many people are going to believe it.. but that still doesnt make it rite for women to hit men.. as much as you may want to, just like go kick a wall, or a tree or something.. or buy a punching bag to take out anger.. but NEVER, NEVER hit one another..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): If any female is prepared to hit a male,then face the consequences if he hits you back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): If any man or woman is in a relationship where their partner is hitting them and will not stop-leave.
You enable them or give them permission to keep hitting you by staying.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): if a girl provokes a violent reaction as a retaliatory defense to her being violent then yes. if it is an attack and not a defense then it is never right. hiding behind sex is bullshit.violence is never acceptable-end of
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (16 July 2007):
 She was abusing him. He has the right to defend himself. But that means to get her to stop, not to hit her back. Hitting (by either party) is wrong.
A girl who takes advantage of the "Men don't hit women" convention has no honor, and to some extent deserves what she gets.
And BTW, there are documented cases of spousal abuse where the woman is hitting the man. Absolutely shameful. You can't say that's not abuse just because bigger.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Im only young myself. And have seen this kind of violence happening in the house that i live in. I dont think a man should hit a woman. They are stonger than woman and it will hurt a lot more. Emotionally, seeing this kind of thing happening hurt me a lot ive never gotten over it. I remember crying so much. Dont initiate the violence. It gets you nowhere xx
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A
male
reader, Jonty +, writes (15 July 2007):
 No walk away, a real man would never hit a girl. I have been hit by a girl and I walked away from the situation.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 I believe in tit for tat. I don't condone the violence but if a man is being hit by a woman, he has EVERY right to defend himself....period. Why should a man not defend himself? He's a PERSON being assaulted by another PERSON. If a man is sexually assaulted by a group of females, is it not assault because he's a man? Let's be fair people, we can't suck and blow at the same time. Hitting is hitting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): just because she's wrong to hit him (and yes it does count as abuse from her end too) doesn't mean he should hit her back its not like it's self defence its just more abuse- imagine its your sister or your mother- could you justify her partner hitting her for any reason?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): Well I recently slapped my ex fiance on his face because I got fed up with the way he was treating me. I was crying and wanted to storm out and he blocked the exit to his apartment so I wouldn't go and I got desperate. It felt good and I feel he deserved it. He on the other hand, just grabbed my hands very firmly and asked me to talk so I would calm down. I think that was pretty nice of him.
I've studied psychology and I know that I have violent tendencies because each time I got mad at him or at someone else I would fantasize about hitting them or throwing something at their face or even shooting them (in my daydreams) and that would make me feel much better. I've always believed that although everyone has a fantasy about killing someone and that's normal; these thoughts of mine might imply deeep unresolved issues. Maybe because my parents used to hit me as I was a child and got into trouble.
I'm thinking maybe she is a control freak like I am and she gets easily frustrated when she doesn't get her way. Talk to her about this when you are feeling OK with her. Tell her that this is inmature and that it might require therapy. Maybe the only thought of you suggesting a therapist would overwhelm her with shame and she would think about it twice when she wants to hit you.
Also, don't tolerate her violence. If she is mad at you and hits you the first time then get mad at her and leave. She has to understand that for her behavior there will always be a negative consequence. Adhere strictly to this pattern until she realizes the correlation.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (15 July 2007):
good question.. because although it is men who are more likely to be abusive, women can be too... however poeple would not excuse a man hitting a woman, when they might do otherwise... this probably due to the fact that (most commonly) men are stronger then women due to the male physique, so would therefore do alot more damage.
so i beleive that there is no sitation where a man is justified for hitting a woman
but a woman should never really hit a man either
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (15 July 2007):
 i reckon a man should never hit a women.EVER!
If the woman is violently hitting the man i reckon he can subdue her to stop her attacking him but not hit her violently as this is wrong
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A
female
reader, lmachray +, writes (15 July 2007):
If the guy had attacked the girl first then yes it would be abuse, usually when a girl attacks a guy its not counted as abuse, i hit my boyfriend all the time, in a jokey way, if you're being hit constantly tell someone because it abuse, if uve hit him, and he hit u back, u stop hitting him, then he carries on theres a major problem...hope this helps
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A
male
reader, demon +, writes (15 July 2007):
no matter wat a guy should not hit girl cause it is not right i think that what would i do if my dad was hitting my mom i would be angry. women is something that god put on earth and we should not abuse of it
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