A
female
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anonymous
writes: Things have been going beautifully between my b/f and I for the past few months, after much stress over an ex-girlfriend that took him 4 years to get over because he insisted on remaining friends with her, even though she's manipulative, intrusive and kept his heart on a string. I feel like we're finally making progress and she has not contacted him now, for almost a year. Of course, I must admit, I deleted the last voicemail message she left on his answering machine because I got sick of her being in the picture and he sure wasn't in any hurry to cut the tie! (There were no kids involved of course.) When he didn't call her back (because he wasn't aware that she had called) she magically stopped calling! Presto! Problem solved. Then today, I skimmed through my horoscope and when I read his (Leo)it said "An Ex Is Back!"......I felt my heart thud to the floor, so I kept reminding myself that it's just a horoscope! But it's been haunting me all day. How much validity should I put in stupid things like this? I've never been a horoscope fanatic, but sometimes I read through them for amusement. And sometimes they do parallel the events that really go on in my life. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): My horoscope told me yesterday that a promotion at work is within reach if I stay focused on my goals. I don't have a job, haven't had one for 4 years because of health reasons. So there you go; if an ominous horoscope is your biggest worry in your relationship, you're luckier than most.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): hororscopes are pearls of thrift and wisdom. this one time mystic meg said i would come across a great fortune and i found 50p!! you need to invest all of your trust in these vague generalisations, as if random balls of burning gass can be translated by some minger into hope 4 the average fool.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): many of my horoscopes never came true in fact most did not, but when i felt something inside move me i knew they were right. only rarely does it come true but you can tell when it will in my experience. it sounds like your's probably wont but fingers crossed, its how i met my true love and he means the world. luck was in my stars and left me with a better guy!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all of your advise! It has put my mind at ease over the horoscope thing. I know I took a bit of a beating over the deleting of the voice mail message, but here's the thing: My b/f has a BIG heart. This woman knows it, hence the reason she is still "using" him. I have trust issues because I KNOW he's not over her (obviously, or he wouldn't keep taking her calls)...He knows it upsets me, but he just can't seem to say no. I know he would get over her if she'd just leave him alone. He says he loves me, but every time she calls, it messes up his head all over again. It's nothing more than a game to her. I am trying to help him get over her but I cannot do it if she continues to call him every couple of months. I also know that if he'd just stop returning her calls, she'd get the hint and leave him alone.(And I proved this point by deleting her last message 8 months ago -- she hasn't called since!) She lives in another state and doesn't even know that he has another g/f now. So by me politely taking the matter into my own hands I have stopped the vicious cycle of her stupid phone calls and that was what I was trying to achieve. Sorry if some of you thought it was wrong. I have no regrets on that one! Thanks to everyone for their responses.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (24 July 2007):
So I suppose along with you a twelth of all the population in the world will have an ex coming back too. That would make for an interesting world now wouldn't it.Surely you should take this with a pinch of salt it is only claptrap although I no doubt there are a few gullable people out there that do choose to believe it.If you have a great relationship then good on you - don't lay it open to risk through what someone has randomly wrote in a local rag.
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A
female
reader, jessekk69 +, writes (24 July 2007):
I some times get myself worked up about horoscopes, and my husband always tell me to stop being so silly, He says do you really believe that 1 12th of the population will have that same thing that is ment to happen to you, happen to them. I stopped believing in them now because what he says is true. My husband and his father are both born on the same day (14th Dec) and if something similar happens to my husband what it said in the horoscopes it never happens to his dad!! And thats proof enough for me!! I wouldnt worry about it!! Jessxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Forget the horoscopes, dear. What happened was reading the thing about an 'ex' was just pure coincidence..nothing more. But I do have to say, why are you not more trusting of the guy you love? It seems for you, to question the validity of a horoscope and to erase messages for your bf from his ex...then perhaps you allowing your fear to rule this relationship. I do understand your mistrust of the ex-once you were in a relationship with this young man-he should 've cut all ties with the ex..right out of the starting gate. I don't believe that people should be friends with exes...that type of scenario always, always interferes with new relationships. but you need to realize, you can't control her, him and what they do. Perhaps to ease your fears, you need to learn to trust him more. Because without high self-worth, no trust for the bf and a lot of fear consuming you, you doesn't have a healthy relationship. One finds themselves in a relationship where they have somehow convinced them-self, they need this person in their life, or they won't survive. The sad thing is this can have a very devastating effect on one's relationship. I'll tell you why. You have demonstrated your fears by taking a dishonest measure to ensure this ex doesn't contact your bf. (erasing the message) While it's not the worst possible thing to do and many of would do that, we have to think about 'why' we would do that? It's because of fear and not believing..we are the bet person for our loved one. When we fear to loose someone, we’d take measures that we think will ensure the person we love stayed with us. That is what is unhealthy. Relationships are based on honest efforts and unshakable trust. Without that, you have nothing. We would do anything to assure that our partner loved us. My suggestion: Come clean with your bf. Tell him your fears and he'll probably give you the loving reassurances, you need to hear. And you have to truly, truly believe, you are the most lovable person. This is why I go on about the importance of self-love. Self-love gives you confidence and a calm rationality that no matter what happens..you have the strength to deal with it. Overcome your jealousy, your fears. And then the trust for your bf will follow.
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (24 July 2007):
Dont worry about the horoscope.
I read mine regular and none of it happens like the predict. Its all made up - that would mean every person who is a gemini (for example) can expect the same thing.
Ignore it!
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (24 July 2007):
none
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A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (24 July 2007):
its a horoscope - a computer makes them up so i wouldnt take it to heart too much. wat i would worry about is the obvious trust issues and lack of communication between you and your bf - if you truly trusted him then you wouldnt have to go behind his back and delete his voicemails, if things are going as wonderfully as you say then an ex should not pose such a huge problem - maybe your not sure that he's completely over her? - or maybe you know that he's not sure? email me if u wanna talk more. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007): Ignore it please. At some point any horoscope is going to ring true for someone (if you keep guessing at the prediction sooner or later it'll match someone out there). It's just random chance that it has done on this occassion.
Think nothing of it.
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