Like what
she writes?
... Add *rPsych to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
|
My fiance is 33 and I am 24. He has some friends his age and he also has some friends that are girls that are 13 and 15.
Q. My fiance is 33 and I am 24. He has some friends his age and he also has some friends that are girls that are 13 and 15. He knows I think it's weird that they are young, so he never takes me out with them. They sit on his lap. Is that weird?...
A. 14 August 2007: I think this sounds very strange and why would he have common interests with children? You have every right to be concerned but you should also offer to go out with them as a group as his reaction maybe telling...I wonder if their parents know about ... (read in full...)
He gave me an STD.
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for 4 years and after high school we got an apartment together and went to college. Living with him was alright... we fought at times, loved at others, but there was a lot of stress in our life because of college and work ...
A. 14 August 2007: You have probably received counselling about HPV but just in case there are a few things you should know. Although you may have the type of HPV that is typically sexually transmitted, HPV passes through skin to skin contact in that region rather ... (read in full...)
When will I most likely get pregnant, just before my period or right after?
Q. If I have sex right when my period stops will there be a bigger chance of me getting pregnant even if he wears a condom? When will I most likely get pregnant, just before my period or right after?...
A. 14 August 2007: Best time to get pregnant is after a period - usually about 10 days after last day of period. However, women vary in their ovulation so you can get a test to chart your fertile times.... (read in full...)
He called her a b#@#h.
Q. When I broke up with my first girlfriend, my mate helped me through it; I cried to her and she listened. She has got a bf of 22, she is 18. He swore at her (the f word) and last night she told me he called her a b***h. What advice, if any, should ...
A. 9 August 2007: Tell her to love herself a bit more than she loves him and to stop being a doormat. ... (read in full...)
I have cuaght my daughter and my neice kissing
Q. I am in some desperate need of some help! I have a daughter who will be 7 this year, and a niece who just turned 6. They have obviously grown up together. On three separate occasions my sister and I have caught them kissing. We tried to reprimand ...
A. 9 August 2007: As an adult you are viewing this as a potentially sexual act but these children may not see it that way - it could be an expression of affection or just practising on each other and is entirely normal behaviour for their developmental ages. I ... (read in full...)
Dating him for just 2 weeks and already ...he wants to propose! Any advice?
Q. Hi! I'm new on here.. I was just browsing, and found this site. Anyways, moving on... I just started dating this guy, and we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He really likes me, and I really like him... and of course we think we are in love. He's re...
A. 9 August 2007: What I think...the divorce courts are full of people who married in haste, repented at leisure. By all means marry him someday if he really is perfect for you, but not right now. You have to look at his motivations for wanting to rush this along - ... (read in full...)
We hooked up while he had a gf. Now they have split so how do I get him to like me again?
Q. Ok I was a freshmen last year and I hung out with alot of the senior guys ..One Night after a football game me and my friend went out to a party and I got really really wasted and did stuff with one of the guys there .. we hung out like 4 more times ...
A. 6 August 2007: Honestly this guy is not bargain of the century so leave him alone. You cannot control how people feel about you and in this case you should regard it as a lucky escape. If he cheated on his girlfriend with you...guess what he will do if he dates ... (read in full...)
I love World of Warcraft but want a girlfriend and don't want to turn into a geek!
Q. Hi, Im a 15 year old boy who is desperate for a girlfriend. But the thing is i play on world of warcraft ALOT (online game). And i dont want to turn into a geek which i think the girls think i am. I love the game but i really want a girlfirend...
A. 6 August 2007: You shouldn't have to give up your interests for a girlfriend...it is a question of finding someone with similar interests to you really and that often takes time! As for worrying about girls thinking you are a 'geek'...I wouldn't worry so much ... (read in full...)
I think I love him but everyone says he is bad news! What would YOU do?
Q. Theres this boy i met a week ago but i already think i am in love. PLease help. I know he is bad news everyones warned me about him, even his cousin! But that if that isn't bad enough he is 15 an i am 11. I really like him, he is so funny, buff and ...
A. 6 August 2007: Normally I am not against age-gap relationships but there is a huge emotional gap between being 11 and being 15. It sounds like you have a crush on this guy and that is normal. However, you are just starting adolescence and he is somewhat older and ... (read in full...)
Am I immature or is he being dumb?
Q. Help me here guys. OF course I'm 13 and so is my boyfrined. He thinks I'm inmature just beacseI don't want to have sex and becasue I watch cartoon network and disney channel everyday.Am I really inmature or is he just being dumb?...
A. 5 August 2007: Dump the loser boyfriend...he is being immature for pressurising you into doing something you are not ready for. You stick to your guns and show this guy the door as he is so not worthy! I watch the cartoons at 36!... (read in full...)
He blocked my car, threw my purse and phone on the floor and slammed doors... is my fiancee abusive?
Q. Is my fiance abusive? Last night I was cooking fries in a oil pot thing and my friend called to give me directions to her house. So, I had taken half of the fries out, and left the others in but unplugged it. Well my fiance came in livid because the ...
A. 5 August 2007: Don't blame yourself for his bad behaviour. I would be very concerned in your situation and it is best that you know about these temper tantrums before contemplating marriage. You don't say if this is a one-off incident or recurring event but either ... (read in full...)
He is living a double life, as a gay.
Q. Please direct me, i just found out my ex-husband is living a double life. He's living as a gay man in Las Vegas,but acting straight when he comes home to visit. We have a really good relationship,our families are very close,in fact I know his ...
A. 5 August 2007: His sexual preferences are his own concern, particularly since your marriage is no more. His relationship as a father to his daughter is a separate issues to his sex life. If he chooses to act gay or straight in his own town is really his business ... (read in full...)
No period for 3 months! Am I pregnant?
Q. I haven't had my period for 3 months and i only just lost my virginity a couple of days ago. We had unprotected sex whats the chance of me being pregnant?...
A. 5 August 2007: The problem is that you could have ovulated this month and be due for a period in the next few weeks...irregular periods are no antedote to pregnancy unfortunately. When your next period would be due it would be wise to take a pregnancy test. If you ... (read in full...)
do you think that the sex has something 2 do with me not getting my period because i had sex before my first period?
Q. I had sex when i was 13 and i didnt get my period. i am nearly 15 now and i still didnt get my period. do you think that the sex has something 2 do with me not getting my period because i had sex before my first period? ...
A. 4 August 2007: You maybe a late developer but it is not that unusual not to have started your periods yet. If you find you still haven't by 16 years then you need to see a doctor to determine if there are any medical explanations (e.g polycystic ovaries) for no ... (read in full...)
is it safe to have anal sex during pregnancy
Q. is it safe to have anal sex during pregnancy?...
A. 4 August 2007: There is no outright reason why you shouldn't have anal sex if you wish unless a midwife or doctor has told you there are medical complications with the pregnancy that make any sexual activity unwise. However, you should be aware that you are more ... (read in full...)
can someone please give me some advice on my failing marriage.
Q. can someone please give me some advice on my failing marriage.we have being together for 17years and for the past 5years there has being no sex or real affection shown to me ,i have tried changing my apperance loosing weight but nothing seems to ...
A. 4 August 2007: Lots of people use the excuse that they stay together for the sake of the children but if you are that unhappy then your children will know it. At your age, I am guessing your children will be older and able to comprehend what is happening. If you ... (read in full...)
He was my first proper kiss but now I havnt had my period since and Im a bit worried could this be linked with the kiss??
Q. Hi i Am 15, i went to Turkey in May And Me And 1 Of The Turkish Lads Who Worked At The Hotel He Was 19 Snogged. Im Still a Virgin And He Was My First Proper Kiss But Now I Havnt Had My Period Since And Im Abit Worried Could This Be Linked With The ...
A. 4 August 2007: Don't worry as you are definitely not pregnant if kissing is all you did. You need to be having sexual intercourse before you get concerned.
All sorts of things can cause a disruption to periods from stress to hormonal imbalances. If you still do... (read in full...)
Should I get my hair done the way I want or listen to my mum?
Q. hi there i am 14 years old and i really want to cut my hair short like how posh spice had it at the end of 2oo6 i asked my mom last night and she said it would not suite me but i think it will she also said that she doesnt trust the hairdresser and ...
A. 4 August 2007: It is normal to be developing your own tastes in hair and fashion at your age. My advice is to ask around to find someone who does a really good job with those designer short cuts as you don't want to end up sheep sheered do you? I am sure there in ... (read in full...)
I told him not to "nut" in me... but he did! And now I'm worried about the baby...
Q. Okay i'm 8 months pergnant and i had sex with my baby father. i told him to take his dick out before he nut. he claim that it felt too good. and he "nut" in me. I was wondering is that dangerous because this is my first baby. and i wondering if that ...
A. 4 August 2007: In normal circumstances there is no reason why you cannot have a sex life up until the birth. Many women don't feel they want to. Sperm cannot affect the baby because there is a mucus plug around your cervix which stops infections getting in and ... (read in full...)
She (13) thinks that he (23, Internet guy) is in love with her... how can I open her eyes!?
Q. One of my friends (13 y/o girl) is convinced that a 23 year old man she met over an online game is in love with her. I have done everything I can to try and convince her that this is not right. We live in different countries, and they live in ...
A. 4 August 2007: You have every right to be concerned about her. She maybe dizzy on the flattery of thinking an older man is in love with her. However, the reality is that her 23 year old acquaintance is at best a paedophile and at worst a complete psychopath ... (read in full...)
does this mean im pregnant?
Q. I am desprete here... i need help so badly.. im 16 years old. Ive had unportected sex several times over the past two months. my boyfriend NEVER came in me though, i also read that in order for sperm to be in pre cum he must have came earlier ...
A. 3 August 2007: Pregnancy tests are only sensitive (i.e. accurate) for the time stated on the instructions (usually just a few minutes). It is unlikely that you are pregnant but you are obviously sleeping with someone who doesn't care about contraception so why ... (read in full...)
I also fear for my life, he has came very close to seriously injuring me in the past.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years, he is thirty and I am 20. I am still growing up and I would prefer to do it alone but I love him and he has helped me immensely. We have a lot of problems, there has been abuse, b...
A. 3 August 2007: Unfortunately by staying with this man, you have become his enabler. It allows him to rationalise his violent behaviour, emotional abuse and stay in control in his mind. He is obviously an emotionally unstable man if you fear suicide and he has big ... (read in full...)
I found out I was pregnant and I don't know how to tell anyone.
Q. I am 14 and I have been having lots of sex but with my boyfriend, we tried diffrent things and I like them all. I found out I was pregnant, I don't know how to tell anyone, I feel so sick no one knows but me. How do I tell people oh and I think I ...
A. 3 August 2007: I don't think your love of oral sex is a priority right now...sorting out the pregnancy and how you feel about that is definitely the focus. Firstly, you should tell your partner and your parents. Ok, that is tough but they need to know. You need to ... (read in full...)
Me and my mum don't get along. What can I do to repair this?
Q. Well me and my mum are not close. I mean like I don't want to tell her anything. I can never tell her anything and I am starting to hate my mum. She doesn't know what to do cause I lock myself in my room and don't talk to anyone. All I want to do is ...
A. 3 August 2007: It is normal to have tensions with your parents at your age. You are starting the journey towards adulthood and she sees you as a little girl. There isn't an easy solution but if you are mature enough to want your freedom then you are old enough to ... (read in full...)
I desperately want to help my friend with his relationship but he won't let me.
Q. My friend wont let his gf go on the pill in case she gains weight *she a stick so she need a bit of weight* and they use condoms but only 60% of the time. He's 18 and shes 17 ive tried to explain to him that she wont become fat and if she did he ...
A. 3 August 2007: Research indicates that the new generation of contraceptive pill do not make you gain weight...HOWEVER getting pregnant through unprotective sex might change the body shape somewhat! Remind him of that...if she is cheating then he may have more to ... (read in full...)
Do not want to risk our friendship.
Q. Hi I don't really know how to go about asking things like this. My best friend has just finished with her boyfriend of 3 years and I really like her more than a best friend. We're both at university and have helped each other through rough patches ...
A. 1 August 2007: Dont ask her out if you value your friendship. A few years back I had a male friend who started to make it obvious he wanted more and it absolutely ruined the friendship. He hated it when I met my now husband and really tried to plug doubts into my ... (read in full...)
How would I tell my mum if I accidentally got pregnant?
Q. Ok well here goes.. Im 14 nd ma bf is 15 nd we are havin sex. Im completly comfortable wit it. Ive discussed wat would happen if i got pregnant nd he said he would stay wit me nd help look afta da baby. But im still worried. If he does get me ...
A. 1 August 2007: I am 36 and pregnant - baby very much wanted but frankly the whole idea of being a parent terrifies me even though I am married, great house and money in the bank...my point is that you are not in a committed relationship, you live with your mother ... (read in full...)
Do guys like to date plain-looking female virgins or am I doomed?
Q. Do guys like to date plain female virgins ? I though i would find a man in high school nothing happened , then college but still nothing . I am about to graduate from college and then go to a career college . i fear i will find no guys there who are ...
A. 1 August 2007: Frankly you have to work on your self confidence a bit. Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder and personality counts as much as looks! Some of the most beautiful people can be dull as dish-water. One way to make you feel better about you is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is terrible with money and it's affecting other aspects of our relationship!
Q. HI guys I need help! I am 23 and having a rough time. I recently graduated with a Bachelor's degree, and have started a "real" job. My boyfriend and I both work midnights (I always worked). I bought a house on my own, even though I have a live-in ...
A. 1 August 2007: I think people from different educational backgrounds can work out but differences in attitudes to finances can be a big problem. I used to live with an ex and we split up purely because I uncovered a huge amount of debt and student loans that he ... (read in full...)
I have been sleeping around, but wonder if this will turn off the guy I really like
Q. Hi. I'm 16 years old and I have slept with 5 people.. All being within the past 3 months. 3 of which were on holiday, so they don't matter to me. However, 2 were in England, one being one of my good friends (we've discussed it and have decided to ...
A. 31 July 2007: I would normally say that your sexual history is your concern and that if a man judged you for it then it would mean he probably wouldnt be right for you. However, at 16 you have lots of sexual experience in non-committed relationships and I think ... (read in full...)
He said he wouldnt be a dad to our baby and so I had an abortion
Q. I really dont know where to start...I need some advice. About 2 years ago I started seeing a guy who I thought was really nice. When we were together 8 months, I read his mobile phone messages. He was saying to his ex girlfriend that he loved her ...
A. 31 July 2007: You can do absolutely nothing about the attitude of your ex. I hope in the future you come to realise that it was a lucky escape from a man who clearly isn't worthy of your attentions. Having an abortion is a right and it doesn't matter what people ... (read in full...)
I slept with another man, who is threatening to tell everyone what I did!
Q. Ive been on holiday and just come back, but whilst i was on holiday i got very drunk and ended up sleeping with a man, even though im not gay. But i gave him my phone number and addess and everything. The thing is he wont leave me alone, he say...
A. 28 July 2007: Make it very clear to him that you will go to the police and seek an injunction against him for harrassment if he does not leave you alone. That should send him on his way...if he is sending you unwanted messages ring up BT and your mobile provider ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant? How can I tell my parents?
Q. My dad found me with a guy making out in my truck. and now he doesn't let me do anything with out someone with me well me and this guy have had unprotected sex before and i haven't got my period this month and it really scares me because im not ...
A. 28 July 2007: No Dad wants to find his teenage daughter getting it on...poor chap was probably traumatised! To him you will always be his little girl and he is just being protective. If you are old enough to be having sex, you are definitely old enough to think ... (read in full...)
I'm really under weight. I'm scared, but I won't eat.
Q. im really under wieght i come in about 6 stone maxium i dont fit in to anything im below a size 0 in the uk im scared but i wont eat...what should i do?...
A. 28 July 2007: You have made a brave first step - you recognise that you have a problem not only with being underweight but having an eating disorder that makes you fear food. Eating disorders can be treated very effectively but you need to take a deep breath and ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be a virgin the rest of your life and not be with any body ?
Q. Is it ok to be a virgin the rest of your life until i die and not be with any body ? i am only in my 20's and since the time i was in my teens i decided not to be with anybody . this guy i know at my job says that i am crazy and then he said what ...
A. 28 July 2007: If you were 100% ok about your own decision then you wouldn't mind what other people said. There are bound to be people out there who see your choice as being 'wrong' just because it is unusual. It is not just your choice here, it could be another ... (read in full...)
She has so many problems..but I can't get her out of my head! Help!
Q. I met a girl who I posted about here: http://dearcupid.org/question/i-met-this-girl-about-4-months-ago.html and now she's even more f**ked up then I thought. On top of being bulemic, anorexic, suicidal, self-harming, she's also appar...
A. 28 July 2007: So young and so bitter! By focusing on this girl and all her problems you are doing a great job at hiding from the real issue here which is you, and how you feel about you right now. You shouldn't think of revenge or contempt about this girl - if ... (read in full...)
My boss and I slept together, and now I don't know what he's thinking!
Q. Oh God.. I dont know where to start... I been working with this guy for about for years. He is my boss. He is pretty hot and he knows it. He is married too. Well... I never really considered the posibility that he may be attracted to me. Well... I ...
A. 27 July 2007: I think it is definitely time to grow yourself some self esteem as you seem to be welcoming a very dodgy situation. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes...although I do feel that alcohol is just an excuse sometimes. The secret is to learn from ... (read in full...)
We want a secret marriage, hes 21 I'm 18 is this okay ?
Q. my boyfriend and i want to have a secret marriage..without the knowledge of anyone..im only 18 years old ang my boyfriend is 21 year old.. do you think its ok???...
A. 27 July 2007: I have a secret marriage and I wouldn't advise you to go into that without a great deal of thought. Obviously our friends and my husband's family know about it, but my parents don't because they disapproved of the relationship and refused to even ... (read in full...)
I caught my friend kissing a teacher--what do I do?
Q. I caught my best friend with another female teacher in a cupboard. They were stood in front of me kissing and I didn't know what to do so I pretended I didn't see. This teacher is engaged and doesn't seem to talk to my best friend--...
A. 28 June 2007: It is illegal for teachers to have relationships with their pupils in the UK. This is a child protection issues as any member of staff within a school is a risk when they are engaged in such behaviour. You must take courage and speak out.... (read in full...)
I think I'm too thin, what should I do?
Q. hello every1. im a 16yr old girl and i think i am way too thin. (im under 6 1/2 stone eventhough i eat a balanced diet and do ballet) should i go to the doctors and what methods could i try to stop looking skeleton like?...
A. 23 June 2007: You are young and your body is still developing so don't give up hope that you may get bigger naturally. By all means see a doctor or nutritionalist. However, you may wish to start with moderate use of the weight gain protein drinks for sale at ... (read in full...)
We want to share a bed, but just to hug, not to have sex and her Mom wont let us
Q. I have become friends with a girl. And I mean like best friends. There's no like feelings for each other in that way, we just generally love each other as best friends. I'm going to stay with her in a few days and we have been talking about like ...
A. 23 June 2007: She is just being protective as a parent. It may seem annoying to you but you have to see it as a sign of responsible parenting too. She thinks that teenage hormones may over-run in such a situation. It is right that if she stopped other siblings ... (read in full...)
| *rPsych's friends
These are mutual friends, so *rPsych has
added them and they have added *rPsych!
|
