A
female
age
30-35,
*il kitty
writes:Well me and my mum are not close. I mean like I don't want to tell her anything. I can never tell her anything and I am starting to hate my mum. She doesn't know what to do cause I lock myself in my room and don't talk to anyone. All I want to do is have freedom to do what I like and she says no and I hate her for it. What can I do to repair this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ice knight  +, writes (9 August 2007):
my mum used to be like that but in the end i just said to her "how would you feel not havin any freedom and not bein able to do wat u wanned "at first she said the same old crap well wen i was a kid my mum didnt give me a choice but after a while she agrred i really think it depends wat u want to do in ur time as long as you dont do ne fin stupid i fink u should just say that to ur mum
A
female
reader, Lil kitty +, writes (4 August 2007):
Lil kitty is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx but i now know it can not be repaired. I don't care wat she says anymore. And i have her bf. They both reckon i can't look afta myself and i'm sick of it.
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female
reader, Basschick +, writes (3 August 2007):
 She is probably saying no to some of your requests because they are not safe for you, could put you in some sort of danger, or cause you to have a bad reputation. If you want to have a good relationship with your mum, you first need to respect her. She has been in your shoes, and probably been through the same thing with her own mum. We all go through this, but one day you realize they really do love us and want only the best for us. Once you figure this out, you'll stop hating her and realize how lucky you are to have her around. P.S. Never under any circumstance should you ever tell anyone you hate them, especially your mum because if she were to die that day, you'd never have the chance to take it back, and it would haunt you for the rest of your life. Lots of love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): 1. DONT EVER SAY YOU HATE YOUR MUM!
you probably caused her enough pain when you were born, so be grateful she had you and brought you into this world.
me and my mum fight but i have never once said i hate her so take my advice:
it is your age. it may seem like she is the most evil person in the world but it'll be her that'll help you and be there when you need her. everyone wants freedom at this age, but you have to be patiant. instead of being so negative focus on the positive and enjoy your time with your mum coz trust me, when shes gone you'll regret all this. i hope you understand where im coming from here. good luck :)
XxXxX
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 August 2007):
 It is normal to have tensions with your parents at your age. You are starting the journey towards adulthood and she sees you as a little girl. There isn't an easy solution but if you are mature enough to want your freedom then you are old enough to understand why she is strict - it is because she loves you and is just being protective. Lots of people your age have parents who don't care less what they do and who with...I know what sort of parent I would want. Your life doesn't have to be doomed - locking yourself in your room is just sending a huge message to your mother that she was right and you are not mature enough to deal with things that are not going your way. You could try negotiating - if she sets down rules stick to them and earn her trust and respect. Get a part-time job so you have some spending money and independence. She may give you more liberty as you get older. I do understand how you feel as I felt like I was living in a concentration camp at your age...my way of dealing with it was to tunnel my way out with good high school grades that allowed me to go to University somewhere other than my home town at 18. I played the house rules up until then not to make my own life miserable.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Hey you shoul'nt say things like I hate my mum. She loves and cares about you a great deal, I know you want her to cut some slack and let you do what you want. Why don't you sit her down calmly and tell her how you feel? Say that you would like for example hang out with your friends and give her the reasonable time what time you will be back I think at your age 830pm or 9pm is a very reasonable time for you to come back from sociallising with your friends. And if you have a mobile phone assure her you will call her to say that you are safe. Its a cruel world out there my love, trust me I am a mother myself and I still worry about my kids and they are only 18 and 17.
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female
reader, vickiii07 +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I would love to have a mum i could tell everything. But my mum is mentally ill she thinks everythings my fault.she left us on fathers day and is now in thousands of pounds of debt i just want to tell her what shes doing is crazy !!!!! but she doesnt listen to me ! she thinks im evil she forgets i exist sometimes shes been sectioned twice she used 2 beat me yet i still love her.You really need 2 build a relationship with your mum.talk 2 her about your feelings she was once a teenager once !!!! i wish i could change my mum but i have to except it she wil never be proud of me or love me.but im sure your mum loves you alott x
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 August 2007):
 You are not alone here. There are a lot of kids, especially teens that go through this, so you are not alone!
A lot of what your mum is doing now, you think is totally wrong and she is being mean etc. You will however realise later on in life, that she was honestly just looking out for you. I remember someone telling me that many years ago because my parents were REALLY protective, and I thought, "yeah, you are just telling me a load of bull!" But true enough, I see it now. At the time though, my mum and dad were the devil reincarnated!
My niece in fact is going through this just now. My sister, her mum, is apparently the devil himself! My niece doesnt understand that she is really looking out for her as she is currently in the rebelious stage of life. You say black and she says white! (You should maybe get together with her)
This is a natural stage of life unfortunately. You may say you feel you hate your mum, but seriously, that isnt the case. You feel like she is stopping you from living a life, but what she is really doing is stopping you from making a load of mistakes! (Trust me, I made many of those and my mum and dad were always there to pick up the pieces)
You sound as if you have defence walls up, and you need to let them down. You need to learn to speak to your mum without arguing.
Being brought up in a very dangerous country and a dangerous environment, I was 21 and my parents wouldnt let me go out at night alone. If I went out, I had to take my mums revolver with me, just in case! So I can understand that you feel your mum may make you feel she is stopping you from having fun and doing what you want to do.
Without having a go at your mum, sit down with her and have an adult conversation about how you feel. You will be surprised at how she is feeling and she may be more perceptive to your feelings and let her guard down a little so that you can do a little more with your friends.
Honestly, dont judge your mum as being the devil, you will later on understand why she does what she does. But you need to get the conversation going!
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Have respect for you mum & accept how hard it is being a mum. Is it just your mum at home? I was always having a go at my mum when i was a teen. We fought like cat and dog. But you know what? I look back now im 36, and i know my mum is the best. We have had a couple of episodes when we fell out, but now i have a 12 year old and a 10 year old myself, i know how hard it was for my mum on her own with us!
Your mum loves you to bits & would love to be able to talk to you about things i bet. I know i would with my 2. But i am aware that they will probably go through a time when they dont like me very much like i did with my mum, but i hope they see me like i do my mum now, when they are older.
At 13-15 your mum has a duty to look out for you & set some bounderies. Thats what a good parent does. Honestly. Try and compromise with her a bit.
I seriously do think you will look back in years to come and relaise just how good she really was & she did just care.
Good luck
C xxxx
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