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... Send *eqo a private message | | | *eqo's profile:I care deeply about other people. I want everyone around me to be as happy as I usually am, so I figure if everyone could do what I'm doing now, life would be that much better.
I'm a really optimistic and rational kind of guy, and genuinely want to help others.
I'm a third year student at the University of the Free State in South Africa. I'm studying psychology, so obviously I want to be able to help people with their problems. This website is a great way for me to use the skills I've learnt, and also learn how other's deal with the same types of problems.
I also post some of my own problems, mainly because it's very difficult to be objective when it's your own problem.
I'm always willing to discuss a problem more if you need to talk more personally. Just PM me! |
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My best friend has broken up with him and I would love to be with him... help!
Q. hi there I like this boy, i mean i really like him and we are good friends but my best friend was actually going out with him and i felt guilty about liking him . . but my best friend knew that i liked him and she said she was ok about it but i kn...
A. 30 October 2010: Talk to your friend about it first. It would not be worth losing your best friend over a guy. Be sure that your friend understands that, if she says it's ok to go ahead, that you might date the guy for a long time, and she can't change her mind ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with taking my wife's 17 year old sister to bed!
Q. I am happily married,,my wife is 26yrs old and I am 46.The problem is that I have this obsession with my wife's sister,,she is 17yrs old I want to take her to bed and she seems to have feelings for me as well.What do I do?...
A. 15 June 2007: You will absolutely destroy your marriage by doing that, and I don't think there's much of a chance that a 17 year old is going to be interested in a 46 year old. You will end up screwing up both your relationship with your wife, and your wife's ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Call for new volunteer moderators (please read carefully)
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING! Moderators approve new questions, think up of interesting and accurate titles and approve/reject a...
A. 15 June 2007: I'd love to help, but sadly I'm unable to log on every day, as I study and stay in a 3rd world country with sucky internet! lol. Would really love to help with what I can though (every little bit helps, and all that). I think I apply to all the rest ... (read in full...)
I am friends with my ex gf and my Mother doesn't like this! What can I do?
Q. I'm 20 years old, and my mother is trying to control my life. She doesn't want me seeing my ex anymore, claiming i shouldn't waste petrol, time, and money on her now that she has a new boyfriend. Me and my ex are still great mates. But i can really ...
A. 11 June 2007: What Mandy7 said. Utterly and completely! Try have another chat with your mum though, and help her understand that you guys are still great friends, and that you're not just chasing after your ex! Your mum just wants what's best for you after all!... (read in full...)
Feel scared of loving... any help?
Q. Can anyone tell me why do I feel so scared of loving another person? Is it because I have been hurt before? How should I go about solving this problem?...
A. 11 June 2007: It's very possible that your being hurt before has affected you. How badly were you hurt, and how close were you to the person? Is there one paticular person that hurt you, or several? There are two things you can do to address your problem. Fi... (read in full...)
I told her that this guy she really liked, doesn't like her! Did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi Right my friend likes this lad, and me and the lad are good friends and he was talking to me the other day and he went im Sick of her always starin at me so i went Who me ????? and he sed no bhaveena, (shes the girl whos likes him) so i sed, ohhh ...
A. 6 May 2007: I think you did the right thing. You were friends with the guy, and he told you (as a friend) that he wasn't interested in her. If she had gone after him, she would have only been hurt more, so stopping her at this stage was a wise move. I just hope ... (read in full...)
He agreed to tell me if his ex called, but whenever I with him he hides his phone!!!
Q. This is a continued saga... my bf and I have been arguing about he and his ex calling each other and the fact that he hides it from me so i won't get mad. He has promised not matter what the circumstance, he would inform me if she has been calling ...
A. 9 April 2007: Any relationship can only succeed if there is trust between it's members. There is an obvious trust problem here: you don't trust him (as shown by the fact that you want to see who has been calling him even though he hasn't told you there is any ... (read in full...)
How can I make it clearer to him that I want him to kiss me!?
Q. hey! me and my bf are both 16 and have been togther for 2 months yesterday :) all we have done so far is hug ALL THE TIME! and about a month ago we kissed but we havent kissed since :( but i really want to! he is too tall for me to reach up and ...
A. 4 March 2007: Maybe you should look for (other) signs that maybe he isn't ready to be kissing yet. It's possible that he doesn't really want to start with that yet. Or maybe he thinks that you are being pressured to kiss. If this isn't the case however, th... (read in full...)
I was forced to have sex with this boy, my friend now doesnt want to know me, and I feel I have no one to talk to!!!
Q. i feel as if i am alone i have no one to talk to i am due to go to counselling in a few weeks i feel as if i cant go through with pretending everythings ok when its not. i was forced to have sex with a boy. my best friend tried to help me but ...
A. 4 March 2007: You shouldn't be so hesitant to talk to your family! I'm quite sure that if they knew what was going on, they would make time to pay attention to you and help you through this difficult time.Try talking to your sister or dad, as I'm sure they'd want ... (read in full...)
Do I risk our great friendship and tell him I love him?
Q. i have been best m8s with this lad for 2 years the problem is i think i love him and dont know wheter to tell him. i get the feeling he does feel the same but font want to risk are friendship as i would be lost without him can you help??...
A. 13 November 2006: I also say you should go for it, but this doesn't mean this is the RIGHT answer, just a suggested answer. You'll have to weigh up the pros and cons yourself, and eventually decide for yourself.
Try approaching the subject with him carefull... (read in full...)
About lube..do you put it under the condom (on the penis) or on the outside?
Q. Hi..i have a question about lubrication. Is it safe to put lube on my bf's penis and then put the condom on..or should i just use it on the outside? Thanks so much! ...
A. 13 November 2006: Well it is safe to put the lube on his penis, but wearing a condom on top of it then would defeat the purpose. While using a condom, the lubrication must go on the outside, as it is used to ease the contact between him and you.... (read in full...)
He talks to his friend A LOT...is there something wrong here?
Q. Hello, i'm writing a long long message, but plz do take some time out and read it.I, especially need to know guys' response to it.i'm really confused and in need of some suggestions. I'm 23,married for almost a year. My husband is 31 yrs old. we b...
A. 1 November 2006: Firstly, could you be more specific as to what this society is? Does this society include an aversion to homosexuality? It could be that your husband is gay / bi, but has been unable to tell anyone due to this "society." You say that the final d... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's gay
Q. I'm an in-the-closet gay guy. I met this guy that I REALLY REALLY like (perhaps love at first sight?). He's gorgeous, smart, etc. but the only problem is I don't know if he's gay. How do I find out if he's gay \ bi without scaring him away?...
A. 1 November 2006: A bit of an update on the situation: Thanx for you advice Dr Pete, but this update might put things into better perspective. I agree totally with what you said. So I sent him a text. I can't remember exactly the words I used, but it made my orien... (read in full...)
Husband can't decide who to pick...his gf or his wife and child.
Q. i'm married from 3 years and have a relationship for 7 years.my husband is always an attention seeker and because I had to go somewhere else he met a girl and went to bed with her.He was sincere with me when I came back saying he didn't know if he ...
A. 1 November 2006: I don't believe that people fall "out of love." They just start communicating less and less well. You need to help him renew his love for you. Tell him you love him! Tell him his child loves him! Tell him how wonderful your years have been together! ... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's gay
Q. I'm an in-the-closet gay guy. I met this guy that I REALLY REALLY like (perhaps love at first sight?). He's gorgeous, smart, etc. but the only problem is I don't know if he's gay. How do I find out if he's gay \ bi without scaring him away?...
A. 1 November 2006: Sadly I don't live in the US. Not nearly as many people here use the internet as much as Americans do. And also no mutual friends. He's a guy I met by chance, not through other friends. One of the problems with him is that we aren't really close ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose-my wonderful new man or my husband who left me for another woman?
Q. My husband left me for another woman, I was devastated but eventually tried to move on and even began seeing someone else. Now my husband has left the other woman and says he@ll do anything to get me back! I am very confused and dont want to hurt ...
A. 1 November 2006: I'd like you to think back to the day you got married. Why did you marry your husband? Remember your marriage vows. What were the words you uttered? Most likely along the lines of "in sickness and in health, through good times and through bad..."
... (read in full...)
What exactly is 'charm' and how can I be charming?
Q. wot is charm? how can i be charmin to a 14yr old gurl. im 16. any ideas? we say hi n met on a mates bday b4 dats it!...
A. 1 November 2006: Charm is a very difficult thing to define. I think what you're trying to say is how can you make sure that she likes you. Unfortunately there is no sure way to achieve this. The most important thing is to be true to yourself - lying in order to ... (read in full...)
She wants an anullment now because she feels I used her for her money and to live in the states! This isn't true! help.
Q. I don't know what to do here, I recently got married to a girl who i absoulutly feel is my life saviour and soul mate,I, over a 5 year term of dating her have hurt her a few times with my coldness and aloof attitude. In the 5 years ,it was a ...
A. 1 November 2006: Communication is a key issue here. You need to tell her one way or the other how much you truly love her and care for her. Make it very very clear that the money means nothing to you. In the meantime find a job in the UK, and you could even think of ... (read in full...)
I cum too quickly
Q. I am 23 years, and I am with my gf for at least 3 years. Now we are doing sex for along time but I have a little problem. When we do sex it cums quickly after five minutes. Is there something that I can do for this problem? Thank u....
A. 1 November 2006: Get yourself to a doctor for a medical examination. If it turns out there's nothing medically wrong with you, there's a good chance it could be psychological. Talk to a counselling psychologist about your problem. He or she will be able to help you ... (read in full...)
Going out with this guy I like will really upset my good friend! What should I do?
Q. I'm in a sticky situation Ilike this guy, lets call him X I met X about a year ago but we wern't really that close, we were like, hi and bye kinda friends.... I really liked him, and whilst drunk, texted him saying how much I liked him. HE tex...
A. 1 November 2006: First things first, you have to sort out your feelings with Z. If you really don't feel anything for him in that way, you have to make it perfectly clear to him (I know you've tried, but you'll just have to keep trying harder!). Let him know that ... (read in full...)
I honestly want to just help her and get her away from him.
Q. I have a female friend who I love and care for very much. She is recently divorced ( for three months and were seperated for two years). She filed for the divorce because he had an affair and is keeping it going. She gave him numurous chances for ...
A. 31 October 2006: You were right to refer her to a counsellor, and keep encouraging her to see one. They will be able to help her get back her life. In the meantime, assure her of the facts. The divorce was his fault (he had the affair, not her); she gave him ... (read in full...)
I'm a lesbian and like 2 women at work! What should I do?
Q. I am in a predicament at work. Im a 17 and seem to like two friends. I am a flirt at work and flirt with all the women there (By the way… I’m a lesbian!) I started working there a year ago and found myself liking two women. Both are four years older ...
A. 31 October 2006: Both the girls you like seem to be having difficulties with their boyfriends, and both seem to be quite flirty towards you. However, this doesn't mean you should wedge between them and their boyfriends. They will have to break up with their ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her or wait or wait for an exs cousin to tell her??
Q. My mother had my ex boyfriend arrested when I was 16. He was 20. He was mad at me for a little while for her finding out. I live with my grandmother nad I still sneak around just to see him. My birthday is in 12 days and I won't have to worry about ...
A. 31 October 2006: This might not be the answer you're looking for, but I think it's one you need to read. You need to ask yourself (1) how much you like your boyfriend and (2) how much he likes you.
It seems to me that he's a player. He's ENGAGED to another ... (read in full...)
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