A
male
age
36-40,
*B_88
writes:Hi I don't really know how to go about asking things like this. My best friend has just finished with her boyfriend of 3 years and I really like her more than a best friend. We're both at university and have helped each other through rough patches both in study and our personal lives. I think we're right for each other but I don't want to risk ruining our friendship by asking her out - what should I do??
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male
reader, MB_88 +, writes (2 August 2007):
MB_88 is verified as being by the original poster of the question just wanted to say thanks for the help it's made the situation a lot easier, I had a feeling I knew what the right thing to do was, and you guys have helped clarify it - Thanks!
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Dont ask her out if you value your friendship. A few years back I had a male friend who started to make it obvious he wanted more and it absolutely ruined the friendship. He hated it when I met my now husband and really tried to plug doubts into my mind when I was contemplating marriage. When he got drunk he ranged from embarrassing declarations of love to anger that I refused to see him as he would like. Of course I knew he liked me romantically long before he raised the subject, and this girl probably knows you like her too. The problem is that she either won't see it the same way or you will be rebound guy to get over her boyfriend - either way the friendship will be doomed.
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A
female
reader, Rymo +, writes (1 August 2007):
you know what, shes just broken up - she's not going to want another boyfriend just a friend to rely on. THATS YOU!if you like her, be there for HER not YOU. give her what she needs, feelings cant disappear and woman are intuitive, she will pick up any vibes. You don’t need to DO anything. Let things run their course. At the end of the day an attraction is mutual anyway, she has to like you back, so it’s doesn’t matter if you “made a move” or not. Patience lover boy!xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 August 2007):
 Ooops! I forgot one thing. Friends and lovers are different categories of people. If she sees you as a friend, it doesn't matter how you see her. Wait until she gives you a clear sign.
In case she does hint interest, ask yourself whether you'd be willing to lose the friendship if things went wrong. Once you show her interest as a lover, you CAN'T go back to being friends.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (1 August 2007):
Since she broke up recently, this IS NOT your time to ask her. She must not be all that well. And then, there's the chance that she goes back to that boyfriend.
You need to wait until you're absolutely sure she is over him. What you can do is, stay as her friend the way you've been so far.
On the other hand, since she has never hinted any interest in you, I'm a bit unsure was to what to do, but, if I were you, I would wait for a strong hint from her. Otherwise, you are bound for disaster.
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