A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I'm new on here.. I was just browsing, and found this site. Anyways, moving on... I just started dating this guy, and we are boyfriend and girlfriend. He really likes me, and I really like him... and of course we think we are in love. He's ready to settle down, and I think I am too. He told me hes going to ask me to marry him "August 31st".. I know we are moving to fast, but I just feel its sooo right. Although we have been together since July 15, 2007... So now I'm just wondering, what does everyone think about this??? PS-- I know most of yall are thinking he just wants to be engaged so he can have sex, but he told me he would wait til I was ready.. Anyways, just tell me what ya think, I would like to know.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): Hi again, good luck to you both on your upcoming engagement,but please ,be honest with your parents,yes dad will be upset,so was mine, afterall it doesnt matter how old you are you will always be "Daddys Little girl" but i can tell you he will respect you more if you are honest and he may realise how grown up his little girl really is.good luck sweetie.
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Hi
20 isnt that young. I got married at 18. Although i met him when i was 15. The age isnt a problem. I split with a guy recently, had been with him a year. After 5 weeks he rang me drunk saying maybe we're not suited cuz you dont love me like i love you. I was like what????? ive only known you 5 weeks, sorry but i dont fall in love that quick! I happen to think love is different to lust.
He turned out to need someone to do things for him. Everyone in his life has a purpose for him.
So there are lots of reasons people think they want to run before they can walk but i dont believe in love at first site. I believe it starts out as lust. And thats a short lived emotion. Love is a longer one.
The average honeymoon period is 2 years. Then feelings change & you sort the men from the boys. I wouldnt wanna marry anyone before 2 years has passed myself.
Good luck
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, blueeyedbelle +, writes (10 August 2007):
 I agree that I would not rush into things. Believe things will work & knowing things will work are two different things. Living day in and day out together for the rest of your lives (in theory) is tough work. It is NOT all romantic and blissful. You have to know you are compatible with each other, that you truly understand the keys to communication, that you know that other person almost perfectly, and that you know how you need to be loved and how your partner does-and I am not talking sexually. Personally, for me, I feel like I am loved and cared for the most if someone spends time with me and talks with me. They could buy me things or help around the house, or say nice things to me, but if they don't sit down and talk with me, then I am not going to feel important or loved or cared for. MAKE SURE you both understand how the person gives and receives love. Keep communication open-I believe it is the key to a lasting marriage. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him how I felt... and he said he is ready, and I believe I am too... I know we can make it, we feel that its just soooo right. I agree about when we do get engadged.. that we will wait a while to get married, but we will both be faithful.. I know when my parents hear that Im engaged.. they are going to be in total shock.. but there just going to get over it. I'm 20 years old, and I am mature for my age. We plan to get engaged when my family goes on vacation.. and then when they get back I will tell them eventually.. then by that time, my dad will be way upset.. (because he treats me like I'm 13) then.. he will probley kick me out. The good thing is I will then move in with him.. If everything goes right. I believe we are one of the lucky couples.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): I agree with everybody but I agree with anonymous below. I don't think two weeks is too short a time to know if you love someone. When you know, you just know. The problem in this case is that you are so young you may not have the experience of relationships and of dating that you would want to have before committing to marriage. Or the maturity that you would need in order to smell a rat.
But I can tell by your use of "yall" that you may be from the South. And I know that, culturally, it is very common and socially acceptable to marry at that age. So good luck whatever you do.
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A
female
reader, puzzled  +, writes (10 August 2007):
 your only 2gether over a month. honestly WAIT! you dont wanna settle down with some one so soon, your only young and have lots to see, wait a while and see how you feel, remember every relationship starts with them sparks and some end in flames, but i may be wrong with you but id wait a lil longer than that hun, hope i helped.
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): The problem here is not the short amount of time you have known each other but the fact that you are still young and (i dont want this to be taken wrongly) inexperienced.
My boyfriend proposed to me after 10days(yes thats right..days.) but I was 24yrs old he was 29 and we had both had serious relationships before.we were engaged for a while and got married after a year.We celebrate our tenth anniversay this month.
i know we are probably one of the lucky ones,everyone said we were rushing into things but i do believe that when you have met "The One" you will have no doubt about anything and definately wont feel it neccesary to ask for the advice of strangers.
Good luck in whatever you decide.x
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Absolutely DO NOT marry this man. Certainly not yet anyway. This is possibly the earliest time I have ever heard two people planning to get married. After 2 weeks?? What on earth is the rush whenever you're as young as you are?
You say we would assume that it is just for Sex? If that's the case then you should DEFINATELY not be getting married yet. Yes, christ, do it whenever you're ready to.
Marriage is not something to be rushed into, far too many people make that mistake. Be young for a while, cos I'm told it doesn't last long, so enjoy that while you can. You have plenty of time to get married.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (9 August 2007):
Alarm bells would be ringing.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 August 2007):
 What I think...the divorce courts are full of people who married in haste, repented at leisure. By all means marry him someday if he really is perfect for you, but not right now. You have to look at his motivations for wanting to rush this along - is he looking for a marriage with you? Or perhaps a marriage to anyone willing to make him feel secure and settled. I don't know why you would want to settle down at 18-21 yrs as you really need to have fun at that age. Marriage is not all hearts and flowers - it needs really working at and it takes time to figure out what a person is really like. I married my husband after knowing him a year and frankly I think that is the shortest timeframe to go from dating to engagement to no-turning back! Just tell him you are not willing to accept marriage just yet and you should enjoy your relationship for what it is.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (9 August 2007):
 Actually, sex wasn't what I thought he was getting at. He may just feel like he's found "the one" and wants to lock you in. That's not unreasonable. But they have an old saying about this: "Marry in haste, repent at leisure."
You have so much of your lives ahead of you. If he asks you and you want to say yes, ask for a "promise ring" or a very long engagement. The "promise ring" route (with a much less expensive ring) means that you'll wear his ring and the both of you will be exclusive (not dating anyone else) but that it's an agreement to talk about engagement later, rather than actually being engaged.
Alternately, you can get engaged but agree to wait until you've finished college or some other long-term goal.
You may well end up with this guy, but the odds are against you. Take small steps toward each other and enjoy the journey there, rather than arriving at the destination too soon. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): slow down! you are moving way too fast!
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