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... Send *Talbott a private message | | | *Talbott's profile:I'm a 41 year old sapiosexual male living in Washington, DC fascinated by the forces of survival and sexual selection that drive human behavior.
My day job involves developing election systems for countries in Latin America while being an agony aunt fulfills my need to solve all the world's problems one keyboard click at a time.
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Do men who don't watch porn exist or should I give up and stay single?...
Q. when I commit to a special man I hope to be his only and for him to get his sexual arousal from my body alone...is this too much to ask.....I cant imagine ever needing to look at another mans body for arousal once commited....and I cant imagine ever ...
A. 5 September 2008: You're the only person that can enjoy the sexual pleasure your body gives you. Said differently, you can't experience another person's orgasm, they can't experience yours. So in a sense, the best sex is when you get what you want and your partner ... (read in full...)
Unusual sperm fetish? I even swallow sperm from used condoms..
Q. Hi, I have an unusual fetish. My thing is that I really enjoy having a guy ejaculate in my mouth. My friends think I am mad but I love the taste of sperm and have always allowed a partner to do this for me. I have not had a boyfriend for ...
A. 28 June 2008: Stop feeding the trolls... ... (read in full...)
My best friend is a priest and fell in love with a woman. What should I advise him?
Q. i have a friend. he is a priest.he fell in love with a woman. he is facing in a very crucial decicion-making of wether to give up his career and disregard his vows as a priest in order to be with that girl for good or to just forget her.what can i ...
A. 21 June 2008: Discovering someone you love, who loves you and who you wish to share a life with is a rare joy.
Don't let a monsignor make decisions for you, go for the challenge!... (read in full...)
'Mam I just started my periods'. I just can't bring myself to tell her!
Q. ok so i know most of you have heard about this situation before but i really do need help on this one. Getting to the point.....I started my periods a while back and i never told my mam coz i just cudnt get the words out, i managed fine as she had ...
A. 17 June 2008: A strong mother-daughter communication bond is a important. Your mom remembers well the feeling she had at her first period and can sympathize with what you are experiencing.
Remember it's your body and it's your choice whether or not you want to ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling neglected by him, he has to attend AA meetings after getting out of prison.
Q. I'm hoping I can sum this up in a short. I have been with my Fiance' for 7.5 years and I love him to death; 7 years and 2 months has been while he was in prison, but I've known him for 25 years. To make a long story short, he has to attend AA three ...
A. 17 June 2008: I am sorry you're feeling left out. Although being with your finance is something you've looked forward to for a very long time, leaving prison and moving in together is a huge change in your life and change always brings discomfort. The ... (read in full...)
Don't men enjoy going down on their ladies?
Q. I need a little advice about oral sex. I always thought that men loved to give oral sex to their ladies, but recently discovered that my husband of 8 years may not like to give it. We are both 28 years old. I make sure I always shower first and ...
A. 17 June 2008: The book "She comes first" by Ian Kerner is dedicated to the wonders of a woman's sexual experience.
I learned a technique of licking with a full tongue, as if it were an ice cream cone. It's less tiring for me and gets some amazing ooos and ahhh... (read in full...)
Does a flirty husband and a divorced friend equal a bad idea or not?!?
Q. Flirty Husband + Divorced Friend = Bad Idea? My husband made friends with a co worker, all 3 of us work together, although I'm not there that much becasue it isn't my main job. He had been helping her move, hugging her, posing for pics, playing ...
A. 16 June 2008: A primary relationship is the one where you are the one with the inside scoop on the "secret handshake".
Trust your instinct on this one. ... (read in full...)
Am I shallow? What do I do?
Q. i have started getting to know this guy. he is reeeeally nice and really really sweet and says just the right things that make me flutter... buuut i have doubts. they appear fairly shallow, though, and this concerns me. he is rather careful in what ...
A. 13 June 2008: I agree.... (read in full...)
Two months pregnant and my father wants me to have an abortion. My boyfriend gets very angry.
Q. Hi Im 2 months pregnant and found out 3 weeks ago. I am very confused about what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he is 7 years older than me he says he really wants me to keep the baby and we will get married when we are old ...
A. 12 June 2008: Your father is someone who has cared for you all your life and I sense that he desires what is best for you in the long run.
If your boyfriend cared about you instead himself, he would have been more careful before getting you into this painful ... (read in full...)
Do boys like tall and slim or small and curvy girls???
Q. hi im 15 and ALL my mates are really thin and im jelous of them! i am thin too but i also have a lot of curves. my mates dont have many curves and i want my body to be like theres. i'm slim and curvy and quite small :( but they are slim and tall! ...
A. 12 June 2008: They're your curves and you are the only soul in the entire universe who knows how good it feels when they are caressed. So savor them just the way they are, because nobody else can do it for you.... (read in full...)
Girl likes me but has a boyfriend
Q. Hello, I fell for a girl who i know from work, she is great and we always have eye contact and flirt. But then i realised she had a boyfriend. She told me she wasnt happy with the situation and stuff and i accepted that and i told her my feelings,...
A. 12 June 2008: Sorry budd, the reasons don't matter, if she's having sex with another man, as the book says, "She's just not that into you."
Time to refocus your energies on someone else.
The sooner you do it, the sooner you begin to move on.... (read in full...)
What is the strangest place to have sex?
Q. Sorry for all the questions on here but I enjoy hearing everyone's comments on things, it makes you look at everything so much differently. The world is so diverse it is amazing. But as for my question. Where is the wierdest place any of you...
A. 12 June 2008: On a monument in Washngton DC while trying to act nonchalant about it as tour buses of bored high school kids drove by.... (read in full...)
Are these signs of pregnancy? What else could they mean? I've tender breasts, stomachaches, backaches and vomit.
Q. Think i could be pregnant all of a sudden throwing up tender breasts stomache and back aches dardnt go to the doctors or tell ANYONE il get called a slag at my school what else can it be? what can i do?any anwers appriciated!! x x xx xx xx ...
A. 12 June 2008: A dear friend of mine in your situation chose to give her child to a home that was ready and able to care for it. I deeply admire the selfless decision she made for the best interests of her child.
Whatever decision you make I wish you all the ... (read in full...)
I get erect when with my girlfriend...how do I keep her from noticing?
Q. how can i stop getting aroused and avoid hard on??? whenever i'm with my girlfriend, and i hug and love her ....i get a hard on..but i dislike it...i want to hold her and love her ....as a dick erect in my pants embarresses me a lot... is it po...
A. 12 June 2008: Enjoy it, the day will come soon enough when erections won't be a problem and you'll both look back nostalgically on the thrills and chills of your younger days.... (read in full...)
My husband suffered a severe depression for four years and I have worked very hard to take care of us and the kids. Nothing has been better over these years and now I feel I want out and find happiness somewhere else, what shall I do?
Q. I have been married for 7 years. We have a beautiful child, age 7, and another age 4. About 4 years ago, my husband was fired from his job and two of his siblings were killed in unrelated homicides. These events happened within 3 months of each ...
A. 12 June 2008: In your effort to be supportive, you may have become an enabler of husband's dependent behavior. However that beyond the scope of any agony aunt to answer.
I second Anonymous' suggestion that you check out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. By working ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me at his birthday party! He thinks I was 'easy' in my past!
Q. I'm so hurt and angry! My bf of almost 2 years is having a birthday party tomorrow. Ok, it's not exactly a party, it's just that his friends and classmates have planned to take him clubbing tomorrow night. The thing is, this guy is so hung up...
A. 12 June 2008: Sorry, until someone has the maturity to accept you just as you are, they're not the right one for you.
You've demonstrated a willingness to live your life in the moment which is very attractive to a person with a healthy sense of self-wor... (read in full...)
Will he come to a party if he knows the girl he stares at is going too?
Q. Simple question: would a boy come to a party if he knew that a girl he stares at went too?...
A. 12 June 2008: Of course, that's an extra reason to go.
As with all parties, everyone will experience an uncomfortable moment or two, but the soon you'll get involved an activity and before you know it you'll be having a good time.
... (read in full...)
My neighbor is allowed to kill my dog because my dog "murdered"? What the hell?
Q. hi everyone im gettin really agravated with my neighbor he lives 2 houses down from me and my dog lucy is a lab and a retriever mix n is 12 years old and is still very playfull but now shes to be confined in2 the house because of my dumb ass ...
A. 10 June 2008: Your old dog isn't going to kill his old dog. G'grief.
Everyone needs to take a chill pill and let dogs be dogs.... (read in full...)
Does anyone here have any experience dating law enforcement officers?
Q. Does anyone here have any experience dating law enforcement officers? I have met and become attracted to one, but my female friends tell me to stay away. They say all cops are "problem dates" no matter how wonderful as individuals. They say it's ...
A. 9 June 2008: A good understanding about you desire in a man and getting to know him as a person is more important than generalizing about the characteristics of police officers. That being said, the psychological profile of good police officer shares traits ... (read in full...)
Is he only with me because I'm curvey? I'm insecure about his porn watching, should I give him a chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over three years and throughout the relationship I've made it clear that I'm a bit insecure about my body and that if I found out he'd been looking at other women it would crush my confidence. I rece...
A. 9 June 2008: I'll make this simple.
If he is dating you, it is because he likes YOU. Really. Men are just not that complicated.
For guys porn is just a fantasy catalyst. There's no confusion in his mind between a fantasy and reality. He was looking at p... (read in full...)
Worries about masterbation.
Q. I masturbated in the shower, i took care to only cum in the corner directly into the drainhole. No visible cum got onto my fingers and i rinsed them lots afterwards. I even rinsed the bar soap (which i did not use to masturbate) about 3 times and ...
A. 1 June 2008: Obsessive-compulsive behavior can be treated with a combination of medical and behavioral therapies.
The sooner you start treatment the easier it will be to develop a healthier mental framework.... (read in full...)
Went to a foreign country and slept with 3 male prostitutes. Should I tell my husband?
Q. I had sex with 3 male prostitutes last week while visiting a foreign country with my female friend. I feel so guilty now, and I want to tell my husband. I know he will most likely leave me though and we have two children, one is just 6 weeks old and ...
A. 1 June 2008: I smell a fantasy story...... (read in full...)
'Truth or Dare' game leads to an awful revelation by my wife! Am I over-reacting?
Q. I've been cruising this site on and off for a while. I like to read the questions and have even given my own advice a few times. Now it is my turn to ask for advice. My wife and I had a party last weekend. After the group dwindled down to 12 or so...
A. 31 May 2008: Of course she enjoyed life before you met. Her willingness to fully embrace life is what attracted you to her.
Nobody else at the party thought any less of you.
As with most events in life, we're usually the only person in the room worryin... (read in full...)
Am I painting him to be the bad guy or is he really thoughtless?
Q. After years living apart through work commitments and a huge amount of stress from moving we finally achieved our long awaited goal but now I'm having a hard time settling down. My husband is a lovely man, which is why I've turned my life upside ...
A. 31 May 2008: I'm always amazed how many words and feelings my girlfriend finds to wrap around events.
At times I'm socially clueless and at times she over-analyzes, but that's what keeps our relationship interesting. I admire her emotional insight into thi... (read in full...)
Love and lust!
Q. Hey, i have a HUGE problem. I live in south america, and my boyfriend live sin england. we have been tgether for a year now. we love eachother we do. and he has propose dto me, but we are only so young! 17. and i want that, cause i like the saftey ...
A. 31 May 2008: Actually, yes you can and should break up with someone who is not a right fit for you; regardless of how it causes the other person to feel.
Even at 16-17, love is an adult game and as adults we are each responsible for our own feelings. After a ... (read in full...)
I just cant understand why he would suddenly hate me..is this normal?
Q. hello everyone I have a big problem in my life right now. My ex, we both promised to stay friends if we ever lost our relationship well its been ended for a month now and he hates me. Noone including myself knows why. I was a very good gf to him.....
A. 31 May 2008: Welcome to the wonderful game of dating where each break-up is a completely different experience. With some exs you can stay friends, while with others you need time and distance to heal.
Making promises about how we will feel after a break-up... (read in full...)
Could my fiance be cheating on me if he hasn't had sex with me for 2 months?
Q. Should I be worried if my fiance hasn't had sex with me for 2 months? I give him oral sex, but it also, is very rarely returned. I didn't think a male could go for that long without it. Is he cheating on me?...
A. 31 May 2008: Even more worrying is why two people are planning to marry if over the course of two months they aren't able to communicate with each other on an issue of intimacy.
A marriage without a strong bond of communication is a very lonely place to be. ... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past....it's not the 'normal' jealous story!
Q. Have been married 7 years....happily. Wife mentioned in conversation 3 months ago about a threesome she had once. ( 20 years ago). I explained I don't want to know thing like that as it would do my head in. She mentioned it again. I went in...
A. 30 May 2008: Maybe your controlling behavior the problem, not actions from two decades ago???
There are too many here issues for an agony aunt to address. Please take the time to talk to a therapist before they become too big to resolve. ... (read in full...)
Just found out that my bf has collected photos of women's breasts sent by email!
Q. I just discovered that my boyfriend has collected photos of womens breasts sent to him by email. He met these women online and made the requests personally. I also viewed some messages that he printed and kept, telling a few of the women that he had ...
A. 29 May 2008: Most men use porn to fuel a sexual fantasy, not a create a relationship. So although it may take sexual energy out of a relationship, in moderation erotica is not the end of the world.
However, as with all things, it's a matter of balance;... (read in full...)
What are your opinions or funny stories about 69ing?
Q. i would like to hear your opinions about 69ing with somebody. like if you like it or not? or if you have any funny or interesting stories about it!!! please write them if you have any!!!...
A. 29 May 2008: My experience with 69 is that it is fun for foreplay, but as the intensity increases it quickly becomes way too difficult to focus on the task at mouth.... (read in full...)
I have HPV, would it be better to stop having sex, or can we still? He might have it too...
Q. Iam 19 years old and i have Hpv. i know that you cant know who you got it from because it can years to know that you have it but how many years can it take or about how many or the most it can take? i have a partner of four years and i want to know ...
A. 29 May 2008: With any STD, it is easy to get caught up in the bad news. The bad news is real, however to put things in perspective, there is a little bit of not-so-bad news.
For the majority of people, the body will suppress it. Another good thing is that HPV... (read in full...)
I'm furious with my boyfriend for the way he broke up with me!
Q. I'm so hurt. So, so hurt. My boyfriend and i got back together yesterday. We had a faboulous time! He had broken up with me because of things from the past. But we got back together and spent most of the day together. Then, at night, he got up...
A. 28 May 2008: Just because someone behaves irrationally, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when they do.... (read in full...)
I have a very high libido, would having sex with my boss be a good idea? Do my desires make me... easy?
Q. Omg I really need help I broke up with my bf about a month ago...thats another story. basically i have a really REALLY high sex drive and i need sex!!!! no amount of "self pleaseing" is working!! and theres this guy at work and me...
A. 28 May 2008: I smell a fantasy question. ... (read in full...)
Argh! My boyfriend is planning to go out partying when I'm teaching!
Q. My boyfriend is so... argh! I can't quite describe just how angry he makes me! See, I broke his trust, because last year I told him I wouldn't talk to this certain guy who used to have a crush on me anymore. But the thing is said guy is in my cla...
A. 28 May 2008: Guys in your age group tend to be irrationally jealous. The good news is that with time we become calmer.
Just consider this a little life lesson, the wisest thing to do is to keep quiet about things that cause jealously.
... (read in full...)
My sister gave me oral
Q. I woke up the other night to my own sister giving me a blow job! I thought I was dreaming it. I woke up I asked her to stop, but she said you must like it as I was ready to complete. She had been drinking I think. She is 5 years older than me. I...
A. 26 May 2008: Sounds like another fake fantasy post.
If it is real, the sister is likely experienced very severe childhood trauma that messed with her sense of relationship boundaries. ... (read in full...)
I was molested by my stepdad, now with kids of my own how do I tell my mom I don't want them in their house!?
Q. Since I was about 6 years old till I was about 16 years old my step father molested and raped me, it was an every day thing. It finally got to the point were I wouldn't even fight him anymore, I would just let it happen. I finaly got the courage to ...
A. 26 May 2008: Based on her behavior it is likely your mother also experienced childhood trauma.
Please talk with a professional counselor to find ways to heal your pain and break the cycle of abuse, if not for yourself, do it for your daughters. ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my sexuality, please help!
Q. Hey! I am 23 years old, still a virgin and confused with my sexuality. I do not find girls repulsive but I am much more easily exited by the thought of men. However, I am repulsed by the thought of a penis and anal intercourse. When I masturba...
A. 26 May 2008: A high percentage of men that have sex with men rarely or never engage in anal sex.
Whether it's with a man or a woman, the challenge in life is finding someone who can share a life with and make a commitment to. Accepting yourself as you are ... (read in full...)
How messy will a hand-job get?
Q. I'm super inexperienced, as in I've never done anything for a guy. My bf has done some things for me, but I haven't returned any favors because I dont know how to! I've been reading up on hand jobs, I think i have that pretty figured out. So my ...
A. 26 May 2008: If he's like most guy, just ask him. He will be very very very happy to show you how to get him off.... (read in full...)
I didn't find swinging as thrilling as he did, and I don't want a bloke touching me. How do I get to understand why he likes it?
Q. ok i will be as detailed as i can, been with my partner 20 years in the summer he told me had been with a few prostitutes he only told me coz he had fallen for one!!!! anyway i said i will try and forgive him we have talked and talked it turns out ...
A. 26 May 2008: Swinging under pressure because you're concerned he'll get upset and become involved with a prostitute doesn't sound like fun.
Do you really want to stay in this relationship? My guess is that you know what the right answer is for you.... (read in full...)
What are the pro's and con's of swinging??
Q. What are the pro's and con's of swinging??...
A. 26 May 2008: Pros: If you do it at a public party and involve your partner, it can be a lot of fun and give you a lot of experiences to share.
Cons: In an instant, it can jealousies that can last a very long time. More importantly, it consumes a lot of time ... (read in full...)
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