Like what
she writes?
... Add *rPsych to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *rPsych a private message | | | *rPsych's profile:Hello, I am a 39 year old psychologist from Witney, UK. I am married with one little boy, and I work part-time. I have been answering questions on DearCupid for a couple of years as I think it is an important resource. |
|
It is possible that I miscarried without even knowing I was pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone; ok straight to the point, i usually have very light periods at the begining of each month (start between the 1st-3rd). Last month I had sex with my boyfirend, and then not again until yesterday. I had not started my period for april , ...
A. 7 April 2007: I had a miscarriage at Christmas time while knowing I was 10 wks pregnant. With a miscarriage you can start with spotting and then contractions until the contents of the womb (pregnancy) are lost. For me it was dull achy pain for days followed by ... (read in full...)
I'm only 14 and pregnant, by bf told me that if I didnt get rid of it he would through me down the stairs! Please help!
Q. my boyfriend told me if i didnt get rid of his baby he would throw me down the stairs. i finished him because i was scared and even though i love him i dont want him to hurt me or my baby. he has been gettin his friends to ring my mobile. im only 14 ...
A. 7 April 2007: You are 14 and need support. Your boyfriend is using emotional abuse as a method of controlling you as he is terrified about becoming a father (if he is your age he should be!). That is no excuse for frightening you but you have to realise you don't ... (read in full...)
I love him but he's been two-timing me with his fiance!
Q. I met a man at work who was in a long-term relationship... we started off being very good friends but then became alot closer until we fell for each other. I kept it quiet and we continued to go to lunch, dinners, drinks together... We got to the ...
A. 7 April 2007: Ok, you made a whole pile of mistakes:
You dated a man from work (...and that is a bad mistake because if it goes wrong, you cannot avoid them and the office gossip goes on double-time).
You dated a man who was in a relationship (...he is a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm a slut for not saving myself for "the one" !! Am I?
Q. i lost my virginity to a guy i wasn't in love with or in a relationship with (though i was really attracted to him). i have no regrets about not "waiting" or "saving" myself for "The One." to me, the sex was a purely physical thing. does that make ...
A. 7 April 2007: I think your boyfriend has issues centred around sexual insecurity - he feels you are more sexually experienced than him and that makes him feel bad about himself. That is no excuse for his reaction to your revelation however and I don't think there ... (read in full...)
Parents were divoreced because dad cheated! He remarried and I think hes cheating again! Do I say something ?
Q. so, my mom and my dad got divorced because he cheated on my mom. then, he had the nerve to introduce me to his lover. then he dumped her, andhe got married to this awsome woman i call my friend. the problem is that i think he is cheating on his wife ...
A. 7 April 2007: It is obvious that you are very angry with your father and that is a normal reaction to parents divorcing in the circumstances you describe. I am not saying that your father is a good man or a bad man but what you have to decide is if he is a good ... (read in full...)
He was told to stop drnking or he won't live much longer but he won't
Q. I've been dating this guy for 9 months now. All he does is drink because he can't work after being hit by a car 4 years ago. He never has hit me but does call me names like dumb bitch,etc..He now wants a care giver and gets mad when I don't hel...
A. 6 April 2007: Name calling is a form of emotional abuse and you deserve better. I understand this man maybe disabled but it doesnt make you his personal slave. As a caring person you should be trying to make him as independent as possible and therefore you should ... (read in full...)
I don't want to ask him out in case it makes me look desperate!
Q. Hi Everyone! I really really really like this boy, but I don't know how to tell him without getting embarassed! And my friends all say that I can't ask him out because it will make me look desperate and if he says no I will look stupid. What ...
A. 6 April 2007: I don't think it makes you look desperate but if you trust your friends maybe you could organise a night out as opposed to a 'date'...your friends, his friends...see where it leads?... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty and horrible for doing this behind her back, should I tell her?
Q. Hi, I'm a bad person, don't judge too harshly. I'm on vacation in England at the moment (I'm from America), and I'm visiting family. I've been spending lots of time with my cousin Diana and her fiance, Jesse, because they're close to my age and we...
A. 6 April 2007: I think you have shown tremendous strength of character and personal dignity in this situation. You recognise the physical attraction but you also know it is wrong and it is good that you are going home. I think your loyalty should be for your ... (read in full...)
How can I make sure this guy does love me ?
Q. I wanna make sure a guy I know is in love with me (they told me he was). and also, he seems very outgoing with other people but me, so what is going on , does he like me or not? how can i make sure without asking him out? how can i make him to open ...
A. 6 April 2007: I don't think this guy loves you. You are not in a relationship with him at the moment and true love is fostered in a personal relationship where each person knows each other well and accepts them (some say unconditionally). What you are ... (read in full...)
I have this notion that I shouldnt talk to women that are married, is this a wierd belief ?
Q. Well, i am 25 yr old single guy and carry this notion about females that it is a kind of abnormal to talk with a woman who is someone else's wife. I shy away or cut short any such conversations and extra care to not come in any close contact with ...
A. 6 April 2007: Married women...it is perhaps better to think of them as individual's with their own personality rather than 'someone else's wife'. It is fine to have friendships with married women; but as this board testifies to, anymore than that is usually ... (read in full...)
How do you get over and deal with all the hurt!?
Q. how do you get over some thing , i got rejected problem got sorted by help of you guys but now i dont know what to do i dont feel like going out any where im going out tonight but what can i do im even going to tidy my room please some help me i ...
A. 4 April 2007: Good that you recognise drink isn't the solution to the problem...it isn't and it just gives you a sore head as well as a broken heart to contend with. There is no magic solution to how to get over a difficult painful experience but they do say time ... (read in full...)
I'm confused, he says he wants to be with me but is dating someone else again!?
Q. 3 months ago i split up with my boyfriend, 2 weeks after he got together with this girl and are still going out with each other. his cheated on her twice with me. last week at my birthday he told me he still loved me and that i was beautiful. he ...
A. 4 April 2007: I can tell you what is going on...the man is a player and a total mess. He isn't boyfriend material for you. He cheated with you while dating someone else. You shouldn't have let it happen as it comes down to self-respect. It also means he would ... (read in full...)
Does sperm die the second it hits the air !?
Q. hi everyone, is it true that sperm dies as soon as it is in contact with air, or is there a chance that it doesnt. me and my parnter are despert to know. we had a mini arguement about this subject. So does it die straight away on the bed sheets. xxx...
A. 4 April 2007: Sperm don't die upon contact with air...I wouldn't hold up much hope for the survival of the human race if they did. There have been cases of women who have become pregnant without full intercourse as sperm have leaked at the exit. ... (read in full...)
I'm only 14, I told him I'm pregnant, He laughed at me and called me a slag, But I thought we were in love!!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 19 months and i feel i really love him now. i am only 14 and so when i got with him i was young and i didnt know what love was but now i feel i do. i didnt sleep with him till i became 14 because i thought i was too ...
A. 4 April 2007: This goes to show that at 14 you really were too young to be sleeping with anyone. No one here can tell you whether to keep the baby or go for a termination - that is a personal decision at the end of the day. However, you need support to make plans ... (read in full...)
Not heard from her in months! She rang me! Why ? Thought we had moved on!?
Q. I met this girl I liked a lot, we went out for a few months and wires got crossed and it ended up her finishing with me. I tried to get her back she just played around. Then one day I was with another girl who was just a friend, we bumped into my ...
A. 29 March 2007: Your affection is really wasted here and there is really no hope that this relationship will work out. It hasn't worked out in the past because she was bad to you and it is time to move on and find someone who treats you with respect. She clearly ... (read in full...)
I just recently saw my ex after 10 months, we had sex, now he wants friends with benefits!!
Q. I just saw my ex-boyfriend after 10 months today. We haven't talked that much in between, but all of a sudden started talking again and made plans to meet today. We hit off pretty well, and we both were flirting with each other A LOT. And then he ...
A. 23 March 2007: You will just get all confused if you continue to be bed-buddies with this guy. The relationship didn't work out for some reason first time around and it probably wouldn't work out again if you restarted a relationship with him. Just having a sexual ... (read in full...)
Does taking time out to be with my friends make me a bad father?
Q. I'm 24 years old, in the UK. Up until August 2006 I was in a relationship which I wasn't entirely happy with for various reasons. We have a daughter who is almost 2. After we split up, there was an initial struggle to get my name put onto our daug...
A. 23 March 2007: I think you sound like a good father. Sharing parenting after separation is always tricky and your ex is probably letting off steam. In seeing your friends, you are rebuilding your life outside the need for her and she might feel all sorts of ... (read in full...)
She has depression, no friends and issues of trust and is bringing me down!
Q. Hi, this has gone on long enough and i really need help or advice. I've been seeing my girlfriend for just over 2 years and im getting unhappier by the week. she is my first love (im 21 and she is 23) and there are a few points that are making me ...
A. 23 March 2007: Depressed people put up lots of rules and barriers against getting better until they reach that point where they are receptive to treatment. You know that old saying about taking a horse to water but not making them drink...unfortunately all you can ... (read in full...)
I need some excitement ibn my life...and am looking at my sisters husband!!
Q. My name is Helen. I'm married with 2 kids, but I'm feeling a little unhappy lately. My husband is a migrant (from Lebanon) and lately I don't feel like we have much in common. He doesn't really challenge me enough intellectually, and sexually things ...
A. 23 March 2007: If you are even thinking about cheating with your brother-in-law there is one certainty...you must really, really hate your sister and you must be very bored indeed if you put your need for sexual thrills before your own dignity and your sister's ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy says he fell for you ?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says he fell for you? I can eloborate in a private message, if you want to get to the nitty gritty......
A. 23 March 2007: It could mean any of the following and so much more:
1. He loves you (or thinks he does).
2. He is a player who likes the thrill of the chase and uses the one-liners borrowed from a flick chick movie to lure in the ladies.
3. He is trying to get... (read in full...)
How do I tell my bf thats hes dull and boring and that I want to date my ex ?
Q. I'm emotional troubled. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I got with him right after I broke up with my ex. Our relationship is so dull and boring. We can't even hold up a 10 min conversation on the telephone. So in the end I've ...
A. 23 March 2007: Loads of issues here...your current BF is rebound guy; the nursing blanket to cover the hurt from separating from your ex. It doesn't sound like you are compatible really and it is just plain cruel to keep the relationship dragging on if he ... (read in full...)
Do you think that he slept with her, and just lied to me ?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for six months. Then today he tells me that he went out with a female friend of his and they went drinking and then he ended up sleeping at her place because it was late at night! I was a bit shocked at this ...
A. 23 March 2007: Maybe nothing really did happen - it takes two to tango. At the end of the day, if he was doing something wrong then he may well have kept it a secret and not told you he stayed there. No one can tell you 100% if he has lied or not. Only you can be ... (read in full...)
We mainly use condoms but if we don't he only "pops in"... Could I be pregnant?!
Q. OMG! i know i am probably stressing over nothing but im 3 days late on my period. i still havent come on. I am sleeping with my b/f and we mainly use condoms. and if we dont its only for a second and he never cums in me and that rarly happens. Im ...
A. 20 March 2007: There are lots of reasons why your period could be late including stress! However, your approach is contraception could certainly mean that you are pregnant. Men lose preejaculate semen before the 'main event' and it only takes one nifty sperm to do ... (read in full...)
Is there an easy way to lose weight??
Q. Hi i'm 16 years of age...i'm 5'5 and i weigh 160...is this normal? and could you tell me a easy way to lose weight without pills and diets and stuff like that?...
A. 16 March 2007: As Dr Pete has said, your BMI isn't that bad and you have to remember that at 16 your body is still developing so you could potentially lose weight or change shape in the next couple of years. I didn't stop growing until I was about 20. I think ... (read in full...)
Is your husband a space filler??
Q. I wish to ask ladies, as to how many of you really consider their husband to be a valuable person in their life, rather than being a space filler? ...
A. 16 March 2007: I didn't believe in love before I met my husband because I hadn't experienced those feelings for previous boyfriends. I have been forced to change my mind and I would not change him for the world. Sure he is not perfect...but he is no space filler ... (read in full...)
Married but want my friend to be more!
Q. Dear Cupid..... I have been married for almost four years. I met a nice man about a month before the wedding, and we are great friends.... but i want there to be more. It is destroying my marriage because i cant talk to my husband about it, and it i...
A. 16 March 2007: I think the real issue here is your basic unhappiness with your marriage - if everything was 100% ok with your marriage then you wouldn't be thinking this way about your friend. I think you have two choices (a) go to marriage counselling to try to ... (read in full...)
He wants me to send him naughty pics but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him. this...
A. 8 March 2007: At your age you shouldn't be sending those sort of pics to anyone - or at any age for that matter. Basically this is not just about morality but it is about you losing control over what can happen to that material when you break up or have an ... (read in full...)
We broke up and his friend raped me. We got back together and when I told him he said he can't deal with it anymore. What do I do?
Q. me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i became good friends with his friend.. but his friend raped me one night when we were out at a club. me and my boyfriend got back together and have been together for a month but i just told him what ...
A. 8 March 2007: Why are you scared of ruining it? Frankly love is a 2 way street and if he cannot 'deal' with it then he is just not a supportive person and no basis for a long-term relationship. At the end of the day, this isn't about him or rather it shouldnt be ... (read in full...)
My husband is a lovely man but lacks confidence and seems to have no social skills, how can I help him?
Q. I have been married for almost ten years. My husband is a good man; kind and loving. However, for the eleven years i have known him, he has had little confidence. He doesn't have great social skills, and finds conversation difficult. He doesn't ...
A. 6 March 2007: You may see your husband as being unhappy and lonely but maybe he really doesn't see it that way. At some level most people think work colleagues are out to get them and in some cases they really are! It sounds like your husband doesn't crave the ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was in a car crash recently, she's very emotional all the time, what can I do to help her?
Q. My gf has recently been in a car crash, she didn't get a serious damage and neither did the driver only now shes been home for about a week now and shes extremely emotional and very vunerable she doesn't seem to want to go out as if she scared. ...
A. 6 March 2007: Many people need time to get over traumatic events like car crashes. It is not about the seriousness of the crash in her mind - she is just reviewing the possibility of it being very serious and feeling nervous of going out to places where she would ... (read in full...)
I met this guy online, he said sex is necessary in a relationship and if we don't have sex first time then he has no choice but to give up! Does he just want me for sex?
Q. I am a 20-yead-old girl in Asia and I met this 25-year-old guy from Europe on the internet in the end of 2005. After some talks on MSN and phone he asked me to be his gf and I agreed. I know it sounds stupid since we haven't met but my feeling is ...
A. 6 March 2007: Honestly this guy doesn't have any feelings for you - no one who is genuine would start making sex contracts. I personally wouldn't meet him at all - you think you know lots about him but only what he has told you. Frankly he could be married with 6 ... (read in full...)
I am 14 and never had a boyfriend but my friends have one, please give me advice on what to do?
Q. Hi, im 14 and i've never had a boyfriend. I dont feel as if i'm ready to have one right now as i'm shy, but i feel pressurised to as my two best friends have one. I dont think i will ever get a boyfriend as i am too shy and not really pretty. Please ...
A. 6 March 2007: Being shy is ok and many boys will find that very attractive - who wants motor mouth after all? I know there is tremedous pressure to date at your age but you have to think about this rationally. Boys at 14 are usually a bit less mature than girls ... (read in full...)
The stress is becoming unbearable... what do I do here?
Q. I am in a bit of a mess and could really use some advice here. Basically i live in a house with 2 girls and 2 other guys, one of the girls lets call her N happens to be my ex girlfriend whom i split up with about 3-4 years ago. Regardless of this, ...
A. 6 March 2007: You cannot control what N thinks or does but you can take charge of your own life. Dating flat-mates is always tricky as you are learning but I am sure you cannot be living in the only rentable house in your area. Surely you cannot let N run your ... (read in full...)
Is 6th form in the UK more similar to high school, than university?
Q. Is 6th form in the UK more similar to high school, than university? If so in what way? [Mod note to Question Poster: this is a relationship help site, please keep that in mind next time]...
A. 28 February 2007: 6th form in the UK is more like school than University but it is also different from schooling for 16 year olds. Some people do their A'levels at further education colleges that have a more relaxed mature approach to students. There is a difference ... (read in full...)
Im 18 and attracted to my former teacher, he said he wants to be with me, would it be ok to keep it a secret until schools out!?
Q. I asked this question on my previous question but didn't get any feedback...so I'm going to ask again. I'm 18 and a senior in HS and attracted to my former teacher (soph year). He's attracted to me as well. I was staying after school and we ended ...
A. 28 February 2007: You are in a really difficult situation. Technically at 18 years of age you are an adult who is entitled to make your own decisions about who you date and who you tell about it. However, as your teacher this man has a professional relationship to ... (read in full...)
Two women to choose from..which one do I pick?
Q. hello i have been trying to find the perfect girl for a long time now and proud to say still a virgin unlike most of me mates. but as soon as i stop looking two walk in i have never been interested in the shape of o womans body just personalty the ...
A. 25 February 2007: Neither of them are probably right for you. Why? Because you have posted asking which one to choose which means you are undecided and don't have an outstanding preference for one or the other. Just go with your instinct and if that isn't telling you ... (read in full...)
Any dangers involved in getting 'love bites' or 'hickeys'? How long do they last?
Q. hi i have few question about love bites if you can answer them all or even one i will happy... thnx 1. ow long do they last? 2. ow do you give one? 3. wat should i do whn im bein given one? 4. are there any dangers involved? thnx ...
A. 25 February 2007: how long do they last? Depends on your skin and the size/ depth of the bite from a couple of days to a couple of weeks. how do you give one? A set of teeth probably helps! what should I do when being given one? Hope you don't get a range of nasty ... (read in full...)
Lately he doesn't call or come over! What can I do to gain more interest from him?
Q. i met this guy about a month ago, we started off, attracted to each other. We kiss and touch but, no sex. I decided it was too soon. He is a perfect gentleman, opens doors and the like. However lately he doesn't call, and he does not want to come ...
A. 25 February 2007: You cannot snag him as planning and plotting is not going to make a difference. If he likes you then he will knock your door down and if he is indifferent then maybe he is not that into you - that doesn't have to be a bad thing; you should think ... (read in full...)
I really don't know how to take this any more, is she taking me for a mug? What's wrong with her?
Q. I am married and have been for over 20 years. In that time I have had a few flings, as sex with my wife has always been difficult (she was never that interested). However I decided that for the sake of my 2 children that I would never leave my wife. ...
A. 22 February 2007: If she wanted to see you then she would make time and wouldn't worry so much about what her former partner thought - let's face it, she made time in the past. It sounds like the relationship is doomed as you will just be resentful about the ... (read in full...)
How can this be love????
Q. why would my fiance want to dump me every time we disagree,how can this be love?...
A. 22 February 2007: Definitely not love or the basis for a marriage...hard to dump someone once you are married to them...although lets face it, divorce rates are high for a reason! You cannot possibly agree with your partner on each and every single thing - it ... (read in full...)
My mum is stressing me out, I can't even LOOK at a boy on TV let alone date one but she'll throw a fit!
Q. what to do? i've just turned 16, and my mum is really obsessed with school, and when i even mention a boy off the tele she has a stress, mainly because she left school to be with my dad and apparently it ruined her life, but i can't even look ...
A. 22 February 2007: It is a waiting game really. My mother was scarily strict when I was your age...no makeup, no dating, no cool clothing etc. It felt more like a military camp than a happy home at times! Anyway she had similar circumstances to your mother by the ... (read in full...)
| *rPsych's friends
These are mutual friends, so *rPsych has
added them and they have added *rPsych!
|
