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I want to tell my fiancée I sometimes wear women's panties, but I'm afraid of what she'll think!

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Question - (5 December 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, *ensativeguy010 writes:

Hello everyone, I've got an odd thing goin on. Basically I like to wear girls panties, but mainly just when I masturbate or at night when goin to bed. It makes me feel more intimate and they are more comfortable than my boxers. I sometimes wear them to bed without y fiancé knowing, I don't think anywhase.

I told her one I my fantasies one time was to have inter course with her in a pair of her panties and she actually didn't mind of course she had questions and asked of I was completely strait haha of course I am and I assured her of that.

But she doesn't know I wear them every so often an I want to tell her but am so afraid of what she will think and I hate her not knowing cause I feel like I'm not being honest on our relationship.... Help please? :(

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 December 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI personally have to add that I do NOT think that men who cross dress have MORE going on that just cross dressing...I've known too many male partners that were NOT closeted gays or bisexuals or perverts.. but rather they liked the feel of women's panties... and i get that and I don't think that it means there is more to it than just a tactile thing going on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntWould it bother me? No not really, as long as you keep your mits out of MY panties.

Would I think there was more to it then panties, you can bet your bottom dollar I would.

She is your fiance so I DO think you should tell her.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 December 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYep I'm betting she'd even help you pick your own nice panties to keep in your drawer...

go to her tell her... ask her if she wants to help you shop for your wedding trousseau at the same time she does hers.

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (5 December 2013):

Dear OP,

I agree with you that you should be honest and tell your fiancé. You don't want to enter marriage with a secret. You two sound like you've got a good relationship and she might find it weird at first, but she won't stop loving you.

You've already told her that fantasy and she was cool about it. So be brave and tell her.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (5 December 2013):

YouWish agony auntYeah, while you should have told her before becoming engaged, there's no time like the present! If you talked to her about your fantasy before and she wasn't repulsed by it, then I think she might be open to hearing about your fetish.

She is evolved enough to know that you do masturbate, and I hope to hell you're not snagging HER underwear out of her drawer to ejaculate into, because that would be gross! I would personally be more pissed that a guy was blowing a wad secretly into MY underwear than if he has a fetish in the first place.

A fetish is a fetish, and it doesn't make you a deviant. I dated a guy with a really serious foot fetish, and sometimes even now I miss how much he used to massage my feet for hours sometimes. A good foot massage is pure heaven and worth it if he wanted to sometimes umm..we'll leave it right there. :)

If you treat her right and make her happy, and you two are into each other, she'll accept you for who you are. Sure, it might be a shock to her at first, but she'll be used to it, and if she was questioning you with an open mind about your fantasy, I think she'll still keep an open mind, especially if you ask her to honor you with her open mind.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2013):

I don't think she'd mind. Just don't do it all the time

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